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I. How We Work in Washington. Based on your preferences, we provide you with information about one or more of our contracted senior living providers ("Participating Communities") and provide your Senior Living Care Information to Participating Communities. The Participating Communities may contact you directly regarding their services. APFM does not endorse or recommend any provider. It is your sole responsibility to select the appropriate care for yourself or your loved one. We work with both you and the Participating Communities in your search. We do not permit our Advisors to have an ownership interest in Participating Communities.
II. How We Are Paid. We do not charge you any fee – we are paid by the Participating Communities. Some Participating Communities pay us a percentage of the first month's standard rate for the rent and care services you select. We invoice these fees after the senior moves in.
III. When We Tour. APFM tours certain Participating Communities in Washington (typically more in metropolitan areas than in rural areas.) During the 12 month period prior to December 31, 2017, we toured 86.2% of Participating Communities with capacity for 20 or more residents.
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V. Complaints. Please contact our Family Feedback Line at (866) 584-7340 or ConsumerFeedback@aplaceformom.com to report any complaint. Consumers have many avenues to address a dispute with any referral service company, including the right to file a complaint with the Attorney General's office at: Consumer Protection Division, 800 5th Avenue, Ste. 2000, Seattle, 98104 or 800-551-4636.
VI. No Waiver of Your Rights. APFM does not (and may not) require or even ask consumers seeking senior housing or care services in Washington State to sign waivers of liability for losses of personal property or injury or to sign waivers of any rights established under law.I agree that: A.I authorize A Place For Mom ("APFM") to collect certain personal and contact detail information, as well as relevant health care information about me or from me about the senior family member or relative I am assisting ("Senior Living Care Information"). B.APFM may provide information to me electronically. My electronic signature on agreements and documents has the same effect as if I signed them in ink. C.APFM may send all communications to me electronically via e-mail or by access to an APFM web site. D.If I want a paper copy, I can print a copy of the Disclosures or download the Disclosures for my records. E.This E-Sign Acknowledgement and Authorization applies to these Disclosures and all future Disclosures related to APFM's services, unless I revoke my authorization. You may revoke this authorization in writing at any time (except where we have already disclosed information before receiving your revocation.) This authorization will expire after one year. F.You consent to APFM's reaching out to you using a phone system than can auto-dial numbers (we miss rotary phones, too!), but this consent is not required to use our service.
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Mostly Independent
Your loved one may not require home care or assisted living services at this time. However, continue to monitor their condition for changes and consider occasional in-home care services for help as needed.
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Before she came to live with my husband and I, she wouldn't change her clothes and if they got soiled she would just hang them every where to dry. Need suggestions. I put them out daily n put the dirty ones in the laundry.
At an early stage in our Journey with dementia my Husband would get ready for bed, he would take off the clothes he wore that day and he would fold them up and put them by his chair. When he went upstairs to bed I would pick up the clothes he wore that day and put down clean ones, foldedd just as he folded them. While he was taking a shower the next morning I would quickly open the bathroom door and grab his socks and underwear and put clean ones with his clean clothes. There was no discussion about what to wear.
Put moms clothes out for her where she can see them. If she asks where they are you tell her. If she asks again, you tell her again and show her where they are. And you repeat this every day, day in and day out. And you do this every day because every day is a new day with dementia.
It will help your mom if you put her clean clothes where she looks for her clothes. If things are scattered put her clean clothes in a pretty basket maybe on the dresser or near her bed. If she is doing daily morning grooming you bring them into the bathroom. ( this is a good way to kinda take a peek to see if she needs help. )
And if that does not work you keep trying different things until you find one that works...for now cuz things change sometimes over night.
Sounds to me like you have this covered. Good idea. How you answer is is "I put out clean clothes for you because your others are dirty; they are in the laundry." If your senior is suffering from dementia she may not absorb this information, and she likely has somewhat of a fixation going with this. Just repeat yourself and move on.
Due to a person's brain changing, often a care provider, be it a family member or a paid caregiver, need to learn to IGNORE these incoming messages / communications. However, you WANT to acknowledge the person (their heart - there essence) by saying something short, i.e., 'they are in the laundry" "I'll get them for you (in a minute... soon)"
It is important to NOT ARGUE with a person. Keep them as calm as possible. "Oh yes, you are right ! I'll get them right away" then ... if there is emotional fallout / she gets upset, try to ignore it.
Realize this isn't her talking, it is her confused frustrated brain (chemistry).
Always try to change the subject, realizing that people get into patterns of thought processes / behaviors and they are UNABLE to change. So, you need to change.
Learn to ignore most of it and focus on keeping the person as calm as possible. Change the subject as best you can.
I used to say to my client who talked gibberish - nonsensical language: "Oh, I have to think about that - that's a good idea" (depending on what the subject is - if there is one). "I don't know the answer to that, I'll check into it. Thank you."
Remember, [most] people with dementia FEEL and relate to kindness, tone of voice, a gentle touch on their arm or hand in acknowledgment.
Learning how to communicate is a just that. It is LEARNED and it takes patience for you to be patient with your person as well as yourself.
Lastly, get an easy to read book on dementia. And, google TEEPA SNOW. She has lots of tools. You can watch webinars. You will learn a lot.
“Rite here Mom, I cleaned them for you.” If she wants to know where something specific is just say “it’s in the wash”. She’s going to keep asking so if your answer is simple and the same each time it might help her grasp the new routine in time.
Daughterinlaw7: The individual with dementia may not be able to comprehend that you put her clean clothing out for her. You may have to remove the dirty ones from her sight.
Sounds like my mom. It's a constant battle regarding her clothes. Between dropping food on her shirt at every meal and having incontinence, I have told her to put everything she wears into the laundry basket as soon as she takes it off. That went pretty well when she was living with me. Now, in AL, they do her laundry. They are SUPPOSED to put it away but my mom will say, NO I'll do it. She's such the people pleaser. And I guess the staff is lazy. The head nurse wrote a note on her list of things for the staff to do for her and it says "PUT HER LAUNDRY AWAY". But I come in a day or two or three after laundry day and it's still full of folded clean clothes. Some could be on her bed or reclining chair. It's so frustrating!!!!!
By proceeding, I agree that I understand the following disclosures:
I. How We Work in Washington.
Based on your preferences, we provide you with information about one or more of our contracted senior living providers ("Participating Communities") and provide your Senior Living Care Information to Participating Communities. The Participating Communities may contact you directly regarding their services.
APFM does not endorse or recommend any provider. It is your sole responsibility to select the appropriate care for yourself or your loved one. We work with both you and the Participating Communities in your search. We do not permit our Advisors to have an ownership interest in Participating Communities.
II. How We Are Paid.
We do not charge you any fee – we are paid by the Participating Communities. Some Participating Communities pay us a percentage of the first month's standard rate for the rent and care services you select. We invoice these fees after the senior moves in.
III. When We Tour.
APFM tours certain Participating Communities in Washington (typically more in metropolitan areas than in rural areas.) During the 12 month period prior to December 31, 2017, we toured 86.2% of Participating Communities with capacity for 20 or more residents.
IV. No Obligation or Commitment.
You have no obligation to use or to continue to use our services. Because you pay no fee to us, you will never need to ask for a refund.
V. Complaints.
Please contact our Family Feedback Line at (866) 584-7340 or ConsumerFeedback@aplaceformom.com to report any complaint. Consumers have many avenues to address a dispute with any referral service company, including the right to file a complaint with the Attorney General's office at: Consumer Protection Division, 800 5th Avenue, Ste. 2000, Seattle, 98104 or 800-551-4636.
VI. No Waiver of Your Rights.
APFM does not (and may not) require or even ask consumers seeking senior housing or care services in Washington State to sign waivers of liability for losses of personal property or injury or to sign waivers of any rights established under law.
I agree that:
A.
I authorize A Place For Mom ("APFM") to collect certain personal and contact detail information, as well as relevant health care information about me or from me about the senior family member or relative I am assisting ("Senior Living Care Information").
B.
APFM may provide information to me electronically. My electronic signature on agreements and documents has the same effect as if I signed them in ink.
C.
APFM may send all communications to me electronically via e-mail or by access to an APFM web site.
D.
If I want a paper copy, I can print a copy of the Disclosures or download the Disclosures for my records.
E.
This E-Sign Acknowledgement and Authorization applies to these Disclosures and all future Disclosures related to APFM's services, unless I revoke my authorization. You may revoke this authorization in writing at any time (except where we have already disclosed information before receiving your revocation.) This authorization will expire after one year.
F.
You consent to APFM's reaching out to you using a phone system than can auto-dial numbers (we miss rotary phones, too!), but this consent is not required to use our service.
There was no discussion about what to wear.
Put moms clothes out for her where she can see them.
If she asks where they are you tell her.
If she asks again, you tell her again and show her where they are.
And you repeat this every day, day in and day out.
And you do this every day because every day is a new day with dementia.
It will help your mom if you put her clean clothes where she looks for her clothes. If things are scattered put her clean clothes in a pretty basket maybe on the dresser or near her bed. If she is doing daily morning grooming you bring them into the bathroom. ( this is a good way to kinda take a peek to see if she needs help. )
And if that does not work you keep trying different things until you find one that works...for now cuz things change sometimes over night.
If your senior is suffering from dementia she may not absorb this information, and she likely has somewhat of a fixation going with this. Just repeat yourself and move on.
'they are in the laundry"
"I'll get them for you (in a minute... soon)"
It is important to NOT ARGUE with a person.
Keep them as calm as possible.
"Oh yes, you are right ! I'll get them right away"
then ... if there is emotional fallout / she gets upset, try to ignore it.
Realize this isn't her talking, it is her confused frustrated brain (chemistry).
Always try to change the subject, realizing that people get into patterns of thought processes / behaviors and they are UNABLE to change. So, you need to change.
Learn to ignore most of it and focus on keeping the person as calm as possible.
Change the subject as best you can.
I used to say to my client who talked gibberish - nonsensical language:
"Oh, I have to think about that - that's a good idea" (depending on what the subject is - if there is one).
"I don't know the answer to that, I'll check into it. Thank you."
Remember, [most] people with dementia FEEL and relate to kindness, tone of voice, a gentle touch on their arm or hand in acknowledgment.
Learning how to communicate is a just that. It is LEARNED and it takes patience for you to be patient with your person as well as yourself.
Lastly, get an easy to read book on dementia. And, google TEEPA SNOW. She has lots of tools. You can watch webinars. You will learn a lot.
Gena / Touch Matters
TEEPA SNOW is great!!
also Dr. Natali Edmonds of Careblazers is great for training caregivers.