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I have a sister who's hostile, she's bipolar. Before I became the trustee, I asked her for help, she sent emails suggesting what to do, I had already done them and worked it out. I asked please help or step aside. She blocked my emails and hasn't communicated to me in 5 months, it's mostly a relief. Now as the Trustee I need to dispose of assets and she is still blocking my messages.



How do you deal with someone who is a mentally unstable beneficiary? She may be mentally incapacitated because she's unable to deal with stressful situations and holds grudges, stopping any progress on resolving trust needs and distributions. She feels she's entitled to certain things that were never documented. Most personal items to be distributed were not recorded by the trustees when the trust was created and my mom has verbally said who should get what and has also changed her mind and is now incapacitated.



What do I do as the trustee?

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Why are you disposing of assets to beneficiaries if Mom's still alive?

If you're just talking about "stuff," send your sister a registered letter saying that X and X have been given to her and she has until a certain date (usually 30 days) to claim these items or you will assume she does not want them and they'll be sold. Keep a copy of the letter and of the delivery receipt in case she tries to come back after you later on. Put on your legal hat whenever you deal with her and do EVERYTHING in writing.

If she has a person/spouse who is caring for her, you might cc them on the letter as well with "For Information Purposes Only" written on that copy.

You need to check with a trust and estate attorney to see exactly how to handle Sis. If she's not competent to receive a sum of money or legal notices, that may put a whole different spin on how you deal with her.
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Gnarley May 2022
Mom is incapacitated, in assisted living, the home is vacant, and items need to be removed so the home can be sold or rented, what other options are there? Sis could lose her sec 8 housing due to inheritance and she isn't able to figure this out.
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@ Slartibartfast, nothing going anywhere and there is no probate, funds are for care so long as she's alive. Not everyone has to go the probate route. The trust specifies how to divide up the monetary assets after bills are paid. That's what happens when a trust is used and if anyone contests it they get nothing says the trust. To the best of my knowledge beneficiaries have to agree on the distribution of properties if not listed in a will. Mom has no room for it in her assisted living apartment and the home has to be emptied to sell or rent it, something has to happen to liquidate assets that are not of much value. Time, effort, and cost to sell the remaining personal items would be worth more than the value of the items, so then what? You can't be forced to leave items in the house locking up the ability to sell the home or to rent it for proper trust management. Doing nothing ends up costing more each month the home is vacant and I could be considered not doing my job as trustee if I do not try to increase the value of the trust.
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Slartibartfast May 2022
Thanks for clarifying. It's confused me talking about beneficiaries when the person is still alive. What do you need your sister to do at this time? Is she able legally to hold you back from what needs to be done?
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Elder Law Attorney can send her an "official" letter.
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Gnarley May 2022
Thank you, I have considered this and hope to not go that route due to costs that hurt all of us, and hope she comes to her senses. If not I may have to take it to the courts to state to a judge why she is holding back and causing harm? This could have her declared incompetent. I'm thinking that she would cooperate if it gets to this point. First, I may send a certified letter asking for her cooperation as working through an attorney will not help anyone if she's doing this out of vindictiveness.
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I think you need a lawyer and you can use Moms money, I think, because you are working for Mom.

I know nothing about trusts. But I do know something about Wills and beneficiaries. It does not matter what is in the Will if the assets need to be spent on a person before they die. If that antique table is left to sister Jane but it can be sold for $5,000 for the persons care, then it gets sold. If Medicaid ever is involved in a persons care, they will tell you, forget about the Will. Why, because that house the recipient has can be sold to pay for care. If for some reason it hasn't sold before the persons death, then a lien will be put on the house and when it does sell, Medicaid gets to recover the money they put out. That means if brother John inherits the house, he may either have to satisfy the lien or sell the house. He may get some of the proceeds or nothing at all depending what Medicaid is owed.

I understand that a trust is done to protect property from Medicaid. If by cleaning out the house, there is something left in the trust to your sister, than I would (as said) write a letter telling her the house is being sold as are its contents. The Trust mentions that _____ was left to her. Would she please come pick it up ASAP but no later than 30 days from date of this letter. You would also like to give her a chance to pick up (if not left to others) items she also may like. To do that though, she must come to the house ASAP because you need to get it cleaned out for the sale. If 30 days is to long, than give her the date convenient to you. This is called covering your tail.

Always as a Trustee or a DPOA, cover your tail. And as said, you are not her sister at this point but a Trustee. If the Trustee was a lawyer, once that timeline was met with no interaction with the beneficiary, that Lawyer would do what needed to get things done. So, its all on your sister at the point she receives that letter. If there is a spouse, I would send him a copy. There are no decisions for her to make other than claiming what is left to her. If you feel there are things she is entitled to, then hold them out. If she can't handle decision making then make them for her.
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Gnarley May 2022
Thanks, in this case, no Medicaid, this is California, we have MediCal and it's a bit different on how they treat manufactured homes. I also think that because the manufactured home and property are recorded by the county to the trust they are sheltered under the trust, but I'm verifying that, and also, manufactured homes seem to be treated differently than stick-built homes. Again I'm seeking legal info on this.
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