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My husband, aged 69 yrs, was diagnosed with Alzhemiers 3 yrs ago. He attends a day client programme 3 x week so I do get some respite, but other than that he needs someone with him 24/7. Needs help with just about everything and get no conversation out of him. I am managing ok and family and friends are very supportive, however I find the evenings especially so long and lonely. I am only 69 yrs also, and only so many jigsaws, crosswords, etc. I can do! How do other people in my situation fill their evenings and keep their sanity!

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I think that's a very individual question. Some like to go online a lot, on social media, and they often develope more or less close relationships "chatting" on Facebook with others dealing with similar hobbies, similar issues, there are online courses, games, puzzles.
Some have some relief hired in so they can go out to social, community, church function, volunteering.
Gardening.
Fostering a pet.
Cooking, or watching cooking shows.
Reading and podcasts.
I mean the world is full of things to do, and it is a matter of what interests you.
There may come a day when you wish to be more active and you cannot continue to care for hubby at home. That may never come if you get some in home help. Or some just do things inhome, such as above.

I wish you the best of luck, but we all have to try to find our own way. Art, collage, poetry, whatever interests you. Perhaps write the next great American mystery. Or memoir.
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ingridhelena Oct 2023
Thank you for your advice. The area I live in , in NZ, has a very supportive Alzhemiers/dementia society, but facilities for dementia patients etc are few and far between and although allocated 'respite care', and in home care, funded for so many days, the reality is that due to staff shortages, no one is during respite care and trying to find the right person to come into the home and care for my husband, is difficult. Family are supportive but have their own lives. My husband 'shadows' me so whatever I am doing, he is right there. Does my head in!! May take up your suggestion though of writing my memoirs or just about the 'journey' with my husband so far, as I can do this in the evenings when he goes to bed. Thank you.
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Loneliness can be the grief of losing the one person who was closest to you-the one you would tell your deepest secrets and worries, the one with whom you vacationed and shared intimacy that you never had with anyone else. I don’t know about you but I have old friends who have known me for a long time. We try to get together or at least text. You might try to join a caregiver group where you can connect with people who are going through the same thing you are going through. It can be in person or on zoom.
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ingridhelena Oct 2023
Thanks for that Kathleen. Realise that I am not alone in this situation and yes, I will look around our area for a 'caregiver group'.
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When he goes to his program, do something where you see other people. Get a cup of tea in a cafe. Meet a friend for lunch. Join a gym. Go to a yoga class. Good luck with this difficult situation!
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My lifelong hobby has been pen pals. You may want to try that
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