My mom lost 10lbs since last month, she is at 75lbs. Suffering from painful rheumatoid. She is in morphine off and on, only when she wants it. Lost hearing in one ear and 75% in the other. She doesn't want solid foods and has shortness of breath. I just want to be ready and know what to do.
My best to you. Do the best you know how with everything that comes along.
I had gotten Hospice involved about a month earlier my mothers doctor kept telling me it wasn't time so after mom had a fall and ended up in a Nursing Home rehab for 20 days I decided to call Hospice myself right after she came home and thank God I did or moms doctor would've continued playing twisted little games.
Now is the time for loved ones to gather to tell mom how much they love her - while she can still respond. Now is the time to talk to mom about end of life "stuff" - her will should already be completed, her preferences for memorial services, who she wants to see before she passes, any "life obligations" such as bills, home, car, divesting of personal items... Maybe write down memories she has of her family, friends, and events in her life that she would like others to know.
You can see it as either the end of her life or the investment she is and has made in others lives.
Make the time she has left with you pleasant and memorable: bring her favorite flowers, rub on her favorite perfume and lotions, offer her favorite foods or drinks, play her favorite music...
Lots of Hugs to Your Mom.
Refusing solid food and only accepting clear fluids is often a sign that she is ready to go.
One thing to be aware of though is that many people have a "last hurrah". It's an odd surge of energy near the end of life. She may sit up in bed and chat quite lucidly or want to get up out of bed when she hasn't been up for days. It can be heart breaking if you think your loved one is suddenly on the mend and then they end up passing away the very next day.
Also don't be surprised if she tells you she has seen or talked with loved ones who have previously passed. This is not uncommon. Don't tell her she's wrong or confused. Many people have said that spirits of loved ones are present near the end of life and are waiting on the other side to help us "cross over".
Tell her you love her and that everything's going to be alright. She can hear you even when she seems "out of it".
Don't feel bad if you're not in the room when she does pass. That's VERY common. It's as if they wait till you've stepped away or gone to take a break, and then they can let go. ❤
please let her doctor know and ask to facilitate getting mom on hospice. They were a tremendous support and blessing for my dad and us when at this time. Blessings.
There is a great pamphlet called "Crossing the Creek" you can read it on line. There are many other pamphlets that will tell you what to expect. When Death is Near is another.
But Hospice will help you with all the things that you will have to do, they will make the phone calls that need to be made. they will guide you and support you.
https://www.crossroadshospice.com/hospice-caregiver-support/end-of-life-signs/breathing-patterns/
http://www.virtualhospice.ca/en_US/Main+Site+Navigation/Home/Topics/Topics/Final+Days/When+Death+is+Near.aspx
When you say " I want to be ready and know what to do", what do you mean?
Have the hospice folks discussed how to keep mom comfortable, how to keep her mouth moist? Have they given you instructions on how to use the comfort meds? And assured you that you can call them any time? Even in the middle of the night? (((((Hugs))))))).
When was the last time the hospice nurse saw her? Morphine will help the shortness of breath. Is she restless?
Has she had a hospice evaluation (I ask because of the morphine)?