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I. How We Work in Washington. Based on your preferences, we provide you with information about one or more of our contracted senior living providers ("Participating Communities") and provide your Senior Living Care Information to Participating Communities. The Participating Communities may contact you directly regarding their services. APFM does not endorse or recommend any provider. It is your sole responsibility to select the appropriate care for yourself or your loved one. We work with both you and the Participating Communities in your search. We do not permit our Advisors to have an ownership interest in Participating Communities.
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VI. No Waiver of Your Rights. APFM does not (and may not) require or even ask consumers seeking senior housing or care services in Washington State to sign waivers of liability for losses of personal property or injury or to sign waivers of any rights established under law.I agree that: A.I authorize A Place For Mom ("APFM") to collect certain personal and contact detail information, as well as relevant health care information about me or from me about the senior family member or relative I am assisting ("Senior Living Care Information"). B.APFM may provide information to me electronically. My electronic signature on agreements and documents has the same effect as if I signed them in ink. C.APFM may send all communications to me electronically via e-mail or by access to an APFM web site. D.If I want a paper copy, I can print a copy of the Disclosures or download the Disclosures for my records. E.This E-Sign Acknowledgement and Authorization applies to these Disclosures and all future Disclosures related to APFM's services, unless I revoke my authorization. You may revoke this authorization in writing at any time (except where we have already disclosed information before receiving your revocation.) This authorization will expire after one year. F.You consent to APFM's reaching out to you using a phone system than can auto-dial numbers (we miss rotary phones, too!), but this consent is not required to use our service.
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Mostly Independent
Your loved one may not require home care or assisted living services at this time. However, continue to monitor their condition for changes and consider occasional in-home care services for help as needed.
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Clearly your husband has severe dementia. Sleeping disorders are not uncommon. You should discuss this with the doctor. You may be, sadly, looking at the time when it is no longer possible to do 24/7 care in the home. I am so sorry and I wish you the best of luck.
Sounds like your LO has capgrass syndrome and forgets exactly who you are, and believes that you're a stranger in his house. Be very careful as homicide is very prevalent with folks suffering from capgrass, so don't hesitate to call 911 if you feel unsafe at any point. You may have to sleep in a separate bedroom and lock your door. And of course if things get worse you will have to have your LO placed in the appropriate facility.
It's time for memory care. In the meantime have the doctor prescribe sleeping medications for him. Also, of you have not done so already, you start sleeping in a different room, and lock him in at night. If he is this far gone with dementia and comes charging in angry and demanding to know who you are, he may be capable of serious violence against you.
Sedation and he gets locked in his bedroom at night for your safety and his. Then look for a memory care facility.
This sort of thing has happened with my husband, maybe once a month over the past year. “Why are we here? I need to go home or to work . . . “. He stomps around, slamming doors, etc. It might be an extension of Sundowner syndrome?
Dementia is different for everyone, but some forms show up as anxiety, hostility, non-recognition of loved ones, etc. Speak to his doctor about these symptoms and ask for advice on how to handle it. Some medications can be calming and can help him sleep through the night. If he gets violent, please consider moving him to a memory care residence. Learn as much as you can about what to expect with dementia. All the best to you and your LO!
My mother used to do this. She became this other person in the middle of the night and it scared me. I was afraid she might try to hurt me while I was sleeping and I started to worry about my own safety. This was when I decided I’d had enough abuse and she needed to be in a nursing home.
My experience with my husband was also in the middle of the night. I think he woke from a dream, then was confused about who I am, where he was, etc. Scary.
Bonnie48: It sounds as though your LO is not of lucid mind. He may require residence in a managed care facility. YOU cannot endure endless sleep deprivation.
I agree with the advice here to look for a Memory Care placement, to sleep in another room, and in the meantime, ask his doctor about Trazodone. It was a miracle drug for my husband. He too was sundowning and would keep me awake all night, moaning and groaning and yelling for help. In his case, he was unable to get out of bed, so I didn't feel in danger, and he couldn't leave. The trazodone helped to calm him so he would sleep peacefully at night. Now, I give him a Depakote and a Trazodone at bedtime. It puts him right to sleep.
He is having sleep issues. Please consult his doctor for a referral to a sleep specialist. There are medications for different types of sleep issues - difficulty falling asleep, difficulty staying asleep... If you are still sleeping together in the same room/bed, it is probably time for that to change.
Unpleasant situation. Try to approach him with understanding and patience, even if it is difficult for you. I think he's feeling confused or anxious about something specific. Try to calm him down by speaking to him in a calm and confident voice, explaining that everything is fine and helping him recover.
By proceeding, I agree that I understand the following disclosures:
I. How We Work in Washington.
Based on your preferences, we provide you with information about one or more of our contracted senior living providers ("Participating Communities") and provide your Senior Living Care Information to Participating Communities. The Participating Communities may contact you directly regarding their services.
APFM does not endorse or recommend any provider. It is your sole responsibility to select the appropriate care for yourself or your loved one. We work with both you and the Participating Communities in your search. We do not permit our Advisors to have an ownership interest in Participating Communities.
II. How We Are Paid.
We do not charge you any fee – we are paid by the Participating Communities. Some Participating Communities pay us a percentage of the first month's standard rate for the rent and care services you select. We invoice these fees after the senior moves in.
III. When We Tour.
APFM tours certain Participating Communities in Washington (typically more in metropolitan areas than in rural areas.) During the 12 month period prior to December 31, 2017, we toured 86.2% of Participating Communities with capacity for 20 or more residents.
IV. No Obligation or Commitment.
You have no obligation to use or to continue to use our services. Because you pay no fee to us, you will never need to ask for a refund.
V. Complaints.
Please contact our Family Feedback Line at (866) 584-7340 or ConsumerFeedback@aplaceformom.com to report any complaint. Consumers have many avenues to address a dispute with any referral service company, including the right to file a complaint with the Attorney General's office at: Consumer Protection Division, 800 5th Avenue, Ste. 2000, Seattle, 98104 or 800-551-4636.
VI. No Waiver of Your Rights.
APFM does not (and may not) require or even ask consumers seeking senior housing or care services in Washington State to sign waivers of liability for losses of personal property or injury or to sign waivers of any rights established under law.
I agree that:
A.
I authorize A Place For Mom ("APFM") to collect certain personal and contact detail information, as well as relevant health care information about me or from me about the senior family member or relative I am assisting ("Senior Living Care Information").
B.
APFM may provide information to me electronically. My electronic signature on agreements and documents has the same effect as if I signed them in ink.
C.
APFM may send all communications to me electronically via e-mail or by access to an APFM web site.
D.
If I want a paper copy, I can print a copy of the Disclosures or download the Disclosures for my records.
E.
This E-Sign Acknowledgement and Authorization applies to these Disclosures and all future Disclosures related to APFM's services, unless I revoke my authorization. You may revoke this authorization in writing at any time (except where we have already disclosed information before receiving your revocation.) This authorization will expire after one year.
F.
You consent to APFM's reaching out to you using a phone system than can auto-dial numbers (we miss rotary phones, too!), but this consent is not required to use our service.
Sleeping disorders are not uncommon.
You should discuss this with the doctor.
You may be, sadly, looking at the time when it is no longer possible to do 24/7 care in the home.
I am so sorry and I wish you the best of luck.
Be very careful as homicide is very prevalent with folks suffering from capgrass, so don't hesitate to call 911 if you feel unsafe at any point.
You may have to sleep in a separate bedroom and lock your door.
And of course if things get worse you will have to have your LO placed in the appropriate facility.
Look into placing him before you totally burn out.
What good will you be for yourself or the person that you are caring for if you can’t function due to lack of sleep?
Sedation and he gets locked in his bedroom at night for your safety and his. Then look for a memory care facility.
It was a miracle drug for my husband. He too was sundowning and would keep me awake all night, moaning and groaning and yelling for help. In his case, he was unable to get out of bed, so I didn't feel in danger, and he couldn't leave.
The trazodone helped to calm him so he would sleep peacefully at night.
Now, I give him a Depakote and a Trazodone at bedtime. It puts him right to sleep.