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How do I encourage my father to talk to a psychiatrist so he can have the medication he needs for his depression and anxiousness? Thanks

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Lv? We discovered that as my mom got older, it was virtually impossible to "comvince" her that anything new was a good idea.

We discovered that sometimes if her doctor told her she needed to do something (see a specialist, take a med) she might agree, but what was most successful saying "mom, now it's time to...:"

I would make an appointment for dad to see a psychiatrist and take him to the appointment with you. Tall to the doctor, with dad, about your observations about his sadness and anxiety.

Some folks might say "oh, but he'll be angry with you". To which I say "so what?"

If you can't withstand some anger from your parent, you haven't really grown up.
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Instead of a psychiatrist why not his geriatrician, or a doctor level therapist? There are those and may be less frightening and intimidating for him. A practice i used to go to had several masters level therapists and just one doctor level therapist that could prescribe. His doctor may be associated with a psychiatrist that could recommend and prescribe with oversight and monitoring by his GP.
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If you can get your dad in to see his physician or gerontologist, come prepared with a pre-written note explaining your concerns and pass to his nurse or staff as you are signing in for his appointment. Not a long note. This way your dad won't think the idea came from you and he may be more open to it.
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I tried to make an appointment but they say say he has to agree to it
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It's difficult to get someone to see a doctor, if they aren't inclined. Has your dad been diagnosed with anxiety and depression? My dad was actually prescribed meds for that by his Primary doctor. He recommended followup with a psychiatrist, which my dad did do. There wasn't much that she did really. She said that counseling might help, but, she wasn't that adamant about it. We returned a couple more times, but, his Primary oversees his meds. I'm not sure how common that is, but, it's worked so far. My dad just isn't that keen on seeing a counselor who'll probably be about 28 years old, to discuss his issues at 82. lol He does take his meds though, and gets blood work done regularly. I suppose that they help. I just think that it's tough for seniors when they have mobility and health problems. Life is tough at that age. I'm trying to think of any in that age range that I know who don't suffer with anxiety and depression.
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His primary doc gave him Prozac. But it's not enough. The doc recommended a psychiatrist. I called and they said he has to agree to the appointment.

Should he go to a gerontologist? Can they help?
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gladimhere Feb 2020
Yes, get an appointment with a gerentologist. They are trained in all things elderly.
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It's impossible to convince them if they are dead set against it. You can bring it up at the next doctor appointment and see if they could convince them. I tried doing that with my mom but mom wouldn't listen to them either. My mother's situation was difficult because her doctor was hesitant to prescribe anything because of any conflict that would arise from her Parkinson's meds. So she was always flustered by her anxiety and depression. Her doctor wanted her to see a neurological psychiatrist but she refused. I do feel that seeing a psychiatrist is the correct thing for patients rather than the primary doctor prescribing psych meds.

It's a challenge, for sure.
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Psychiatrists do prescriptions--manage them, that is. They do not do 'talk therapy' which may be what you LO needs, along with possibly meds. Most PCP's don't want to manage psych meds.

My DH saw a resident psychiatrist who was affiliated with the Hospital and so she WAS doing talk therapy as part of her training. She graduated and so DH was kind of left in the lurch. He has stayed on his meds (I call him on it when I know he's trying to sneaky pete his way out of taking them)..I wish he could find a therapist he liked--but he's happier and better, for the most part, so I don't rock the boat.

What did it take, initially, for him to get help?

Me, on my knees (LITERALLY) crying in front of him as he lay in bed, pillow over his head to try to ignore me. I really let him have it, how HARD it was to see him emotionally so sad and there was HELP--and finally saying I was going to leave him b/c I was not going to live with his misery one more day.

It was humiliating.

BUT...
Next day, he was actually able to get in to see this Dr. and was immediately put on AD's and was dxed as being 'severely depressed'.

He is not the man I married at all. But, he's not laying in bed all day, 4 days a week. I hope he finds a new therapist. Actually the one he saw gave him enough 'tools' that if he ever READ the stuff she gave him, it would really help.

Years of trying to be kind, sweet, mean, ignoring, supporting his sadness just wore me out. I'm not proud of the crying fit I threw, but he is terrified I would leave him.

Initially, I think for you, a trip to the PCP's and a referral to a psych doc is in order.

Truthfully, you cannot MAKE anyone do something they just don't want to do.

I do wish you luck. It's hard.
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