I have written on this forum before seeing advice on how to handle Mom's finances given her age and dementia. Quick summary of situation - 78 Year old mother who was an accountant and was very successful back in the day in the finance industry. She retired 8 years ago in a very healthy financial situation. She still owns a primary home and a vacation home.
Her dementia has deteriorated enough that she no longer can find her way around a computer and has stopped opening mail and paying bills. Most of her utilities have been turned off at one point or another for lack of payment. She recently received a property tax delinquency notice for not paying the property tax on her second home. We have offered and suggested many times that we should take over the bill paying and money management. That discussion always leads to anger on her part and a stern lecture from her on how she managed multi-million dollar portfolios and investments for 30+ years (which is true). But, dementia has changed all of that. She does not realize OR does not want to admit that her skills have diminished so much that she does not collect or open mail or even use a computer.
Just thinking out loud: we find it hard to believe that she can still file a tax return. She says she does, but she says a lot of things now that are not true. As an accountant, she prepared her own return forever. No way (even now) would she admit that she needs help. My guess, it is not happening.
Any thoughts on: 1) can we find out if indeed she is filing? 2) what steps can we take to assure that her finances are not a disaster when she passes on someday. Besides trying to avoid the mess of a financial disaster that we would need to manage, it is also something that in her right mind, she would never want. Not too long ago, she was the most financially organized person I knew. Now it is all crumbling and we are at a loss. I do have POA and have found it to be useless. Anytime I try to use it to step in, I am told that Mom needs to sign a bunch of documents and have them notarized. Obviously, she tells me to go to hell when I attempt to make that happen.
Any and all advice welcome.
Strp dad was an accountant, he died last Nov, he had not done his 2016 nor 2017 taxes. He had dementia.
For your POA who prepared it? Has the family doctor stated Mum is not competent to handle her finances? What addition information does the Tax Depr need to give you access to her information? Here in Canada I can easily assign a Representative with CRA. Quick to do online.
As for the POA, it is a legal document giving you authority. See the lawyer about how to handle the idiots who will not accept it. I got a letter from the lawyer to send to any of these people. It worked every time. While you are at the lawyer, ask for their advise on this situation. The IRS has no problem accepting tax returns I file and sign as "Jane Smith POA for John Brown" and enclose a copy of the full POA.
I think I would start by appealing to her sense of organization. She may not be able to do it anymore, but she's proud of how "together" she has been in the past. So if you approach it from a "what should I do when you're gone" standpoint, she might be more willing to show you (and brag about) how she has organized everything and where things are. In my case, I used the "Get It Together" book that NOLO puts out. Extremely helpful guide that you might be able to work through WITH her. It might make her less defensive.
Once you know where things are, use your POA to get duplicates of documents, bills, notices, etc. sent to YOUR email. Your mom would still get the originals in the mail, but you get notified. Unfortunately, some of the government agencies don't accept the regular POA (they have their own forms); but I've found that banks, investment companies, etc. DO accept them. Again, you have access to the info online and can keep tabs on her finances.
Sorry I don't have a specific solution regarding the tax filing history. The Elder Care Attorney may be your best bet there.