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Get a call blocking phone, At&t or vtech. These phones allow you to block most calls and allow only those numbers you program in the"allow"list to ring through. You can also allow certain businesses to ring through like a doctors office or pharmacy. This phone has made my mother's house very quiet. The phone only rings for family members and friends.
I don't know if he lives alone or not. This is what I finally did with my husband who has Alzheimer's. i turned off the ringer on the house phones. He could call out but any incoming calls went to voicemail. He has a cell phone and odd as it can be, occasionally if he gets a phone call soliciting money, he is sure it is a scam. I also have blocked one relative from calling him on either phone.
I went through this. They were really good and called my mom almost daily. Sent her all over town to send money to them in Jamaica. She gave everything away. Every. Thing. Water had been cut off. Lights were cut off several times. They convinced her she won the lottery, they just needed $1500 to process it. Over and over and over. It was a mess to fix. Ended up changing the incoming phone calls. If you weren’t on a pre-approved list, your phone calls don’t get to the house. There’s nothing but fake phone numbers calling but now they’re gone. I gave the doctors offices my cell number (those appointment reminders don’t usually come from the office number) and that’s how I keep up. That’s the only way to stop the calls. I turn it off occasionally to see what happens. Within 15 minutes they start right back up again. You’ve got to do it ASAP before you lose any more money. Wishing you all the best!
Before I looked at my dementia mom's account years ago she had so many charities that were "auto debit" from her account over the years.. hundreds of dollars each month from junk mail & phone calls. She never looked at her statement. (YB was controlling & liberally using her account too.) My mom was always polite on the phone, so I had to start reminding her do not explain anything, just say no & hang up. We went to the bank & stopped the auto debits. I printed out in large print a paper saying: DO NOT GIVE OUT YOUR ACCOUNT INFO, JUST HANG UP IT'S A SCAM CALL! Posted it on the fridge as a reminder. Maybe you can post something similar near the phone, and take away the card too!
Most - if not all - of these calls are from scammers. You can’t stop the calls - his number is out there. You can take some comfort in knowing they don’t like victims with dementia because they have trouble getting them to follow through sending money. If your FIL still drives, it is very possible he could be instructed to wire money from any of the wire services like MoneyGram, Western Union and GreenDot. He can also be conned into giving bank account info, credit card info, and ID info like his social security number. The scammers are experts at what they do. They take notes during calls of anything they can use to fool the victims. For instance, if the victim goes to church. The scammer will promise a cash prize and tell the victim how much their church could use their “winnings.”
To control the problem you need to take control. That means throwing out junk Mail, including charitable solicitations. I don’t care if it for “homeless kittens” or any other “charity” - legitimate or not. I tell my folks that they have donated enough in their life and that they can let the younger generation pick up where they leave off. Sending a response in to these “charities” leads to more solicitations at best. At worst, it collects the victims phone number and/or financial info which the scammers then use or sell as a “sucker list.” Once their name, address, telephone number is out there the scammers will be relentless and even threatening.
1) Teach your loved one to use caller ID 2) Let unknown calls go to voice mail 3) if 1 and 2 are not workable change the number and/or get an unlisted number and do not give the # to the victim. Provide the # to trusted family. friends and essential businesses/medical providers. 4) throw out/ do not respond to junk mail solicitations of any kind. 5) shred junk mail or at least tear up in little pieces. I dump the cat litter in with mine! 6) Be on alert for repetitive calls, questionable bank transactions, your loved one becoming protective/secretive concerning phone calls/mail 7) Be on alert for compulsive computer activity. 8) Get POA so you can keep an eye on things and intervene as necessary.
These scams can take a few hundred dollars all the way to a person’s life savings. Don’t underestimate the damage that can be done. Vulnerable seniors are targets - someone needs to protect their interests.
The unsolicited calls are not going to stop. Period. There is no way you can stop these calls, whether they are legit or scammers. The best thing you can do is NOT answer the phone when they call. Since your dad cannot remember not to pick up the phone, you have to eliminate the opportunity for him to respond to these calls. If you must have a phone in the house, turn off the ringer. Anybody who needs to reach your father, such as doctors and family members, can leave a message. If it is important enough, a message will be left. Your dad is extremely vulnerable and, unfortunately, there are way too many people who want to take it advantage of him, me, you and everyone on this forum.
My mother died a year and a half ago, and the mail hasn't stopped, and the calls haven't stopped. We have contacted the charities directly. I have answered maybe a third of the phone calls, telling the callers that she's dead, but only about a quarter of those callers apologized and said they'd update their records. The rest tried to get MY money. Change the number and take the credit card away.
My Mom was so bad about this. She would call me and say “I think I did it again.” The routing number is the one I’m not allowed to give out, right? No Mom!!
Riley's comment reminded me of how we addressed some of the calls, when there actually was a person calling. Since we had agreed that many of the so-called charities overpaid their executive staff, when I could think of it I asked the caller how much the CEO made. That usually resulted in a gap of silence. If it didn't, I asked for executive salary amounts down the line, and once even asked how this person felt about working for people who made so much money while getting someone else to do the solicitation.
That didn't happen very often, as many of the calls I get are robo-called. The same monotonous (probably computerized) voice is always a clue.
I have dads credit card and Medicare card. He can't give out those numbers to anyone and I am with him for all medical visits. I am his only child and caregiver.
How bad is his Dementia ? If it's real bad then he has no business with a Credit Card.
Maybe you could set up his phone to not receive those types of calls.
You could tell him that there are lots of prank calls and he shouldn't give out his info because they will charge a lot on his card.
Tell him that you will help him do an auto pay to the Charities that he likes and whenever he gets a call just tell them thank you, he's already given and to hang up the phone.
If he has dementia he should not have a credit card period. Tell him the bank took it back and will send him another. It's always "in the mail". put the phone on Mute for the ring tone or just unplug jack from phone - looks like its on but ring will never happen
Hopefully he is not living alone. That's a big recipe for disaster in itself!
Also hoping someone has POAs for him. This will allow someone to do what needs to be done:
1) take the card away (preferably when he's not looking) 2) cancel the card/close the account 3) if possible, dispute any recent charges 4) If he *must* have a card, use a pre-filled very low limit debit card with no overdraft.
Trying to stop the calls is like trying to plug the dam with your finger. Many are "spoof" calls, using someone else's number which shows up on the caller ID. Even legit charities will take their sweet time to remove him from the list AND will sell his info to whatever mailing lists they get $ from, continuing the cycle with other "charities."
IF there are apps or filters that can be used to reduce the calls, those should be used as well. Contact the service provider (cell and/or landline) to ask what's available. Those calls are SO annoying! I do believe there are also some cell phones that only allow calls from numbers programmed into the phone, most likely for people like FIL. I have NO knowledge about this phone or how much it costs, I'm only using this as an example (found searching 'cell phones for dementia'):
For the most part, I just dismiss/ignore the calls if the numbers are not programmed into my contacts. Now that I've posted the ways to block non-contact calls, I may give it a try. But for now, if the calls persist, I block that number (my plan only allows 5 blocks, so they are saved for the VERY annoying ones!) I've been somewhat lucky because when I moved to another state, I kept my old number. Most of the junk calls come from the state I used to live in. The rest come from all over the country and even outside the country, places I've never been and where I don't know anyone, so I dismiss them all. If they are important, they will leave a message. Most of my contacts are up to date, but there are some that either haven't been added yet or come from a business where the outgoing calls can be different from the main phone number. Except for the first year here (one time only), they haven't figured out I live here now, so calls from this area code are generally "safe" for me to answer!
If there are legit calls from trusted sources, like utils, doctors, insurance, bank, etc, have YOUR number posted to replace his number. That way you won't miss the important calls (he may forget to tell someone or not know what to say to them.) Sign up as Rep Payee for SS (the only LEGIT way to manage another person's SS.) This will make YOU the contact point for any SS or Medicare issues. POA may or may not be needed for most of these, I was able to update contact info (mailing address vs residential, phone number, etc) without using the POA. The only exceptions were the bank and CC. NOTE: SS/Medicare do NOT honor POAs - you need to sign up with them as Rep Payee!
Sounds like time to get him a financial conservator, which you do through the probate court. If you are unwilling to be the conservator, the court can appoint one. This was done for my mother in law, after she was taken by the 'Jamaican Lottery' scam, lost tens of thousands of dollars, and refused to believe even the county sheriff when HE tried to tell her. So now she gets a small allowance to cover her immediate needs but cannot access her bank accounts or sign financial papers or dispose of assets without it going through the court-appointed conservator.
My dad had a call from a scammer. We were talking and he mentioned this. He had also given his CC this was all within 24hrs. We immediately went to the bank, explained the situation and cancelled the card right then and there. I convinced him that he no longer needed the card. That was the end of my worry. Get rid of every cc he has. This people will continue to prey on him.
find his card, take it away, call the company and cancel the card.......tear up the card and that should solve the problem......in fact if he has more than 1 card do that for all of them. wishing you luck
Block their numbers or tell them he is dead - seemed to be the only way I could get my MIL's callers to go away. I don't know if you can get help from his phone provider to block calls, or if you can provide him with a phone that will only allow pre-programmed numbers in. Failing that it you know which charities they are then phone them up, tell them he is a vulnerable person and if they call again you will report them for fraud in taking money from a person with dementia. Personally if I were concerned about a close relative in this situation I would take away their cash card. You don't say where he is living but that may affect what actions you can take.
I would never tell a dubious charity that someone is a "vulnerable person." That's like putting a bulls-eye on his name and saying, " Here's an easy mark—Come and get him!!"
I went and talked to the phone company and had my moms phone number changed. They gave me an old fax number and she NEVER gets any calls now! Before that, she was getting calls every day from someone because my dad use to donate to everyone under the sun!! Plus, I took her Visa card away from her. She never had a problem with that.
And change the ring tone for all the "real" contacts. For my MIL's, we have one that is "ring, ring" for all the people she knows. She knows not to answer the others.
Take the card away from him. He is getting robo calls - the technology just dials one number after another until someone actually talks to them. Might be charity and more likely a scammer just trying to get personal info like credit card. Once you give money to a charity that calls, of course they will call over and over. That's the whole point.
Giving away money can negatively impact his ability to get medicaid for a nursing home should that become a need.
I get calls all day long over and over. I have had it. So I started doing "my thing". I played dumb and pretended to be senile, etc. I told them my memory was not good but if they give me their contact data, my son or daughter will call and do whatever it is they were asking for. Then I proudly went on to say my son is a FEDERAL PROSECUTOR and my daughter is CRIMINAL ATTORNEY. Wow I never heard someone hang up so fast and I never got another call from them. Make up stories like this or say they are now deceased. it works every time. NO MORE CALLS.
Oh, that's a good one. I'll have to try that one day when dh is not around. I've done the "Hello, welcome to our show. Our listeners are eager to hear your story today . . . " My son was in stitches, my dh was furious because I was "lying."
I had a client whose children put a filter on her landline. It blocked all calls other than those recognized as acceptable callers and it worked really good. I don’t know the name of the filter but if you google something like, “blocking landline spam calls” you’ll find it.
He should not have access to a valid credit card or one with more than a set amount on it. If you have to get him a pre loaded card. You do not indicate where he is living or with whom. If he is by himself, he should not be living alone. if he is living with someone they could monitor calls and stop him from giving info out. .
Get a cell phone and transfer his telephone number to the cell phone service. Update his contact address book on the cellphone to those phone numbers that are ok. Most cellphones now have a feature where you can set it to ring only on approved contacts. All other calls will be transferred “silently” to voice mail. Maybe this might be available on your landline too.
I wish there was an easy way to end telephone solicitations. Even if we block numbers, these people will generate new numbers in a heartbeat! If we have our names on the DO NOT CALL list, it doesn’t matter. If we don’t answer our phones, they send junk texts messages. There’s no end. It’s like a contagious, incurable disease!
One of the limitations of the Do Not Call list is that so many of the numbers shown on caller ID are fake. I had faithfully been reporting the numbers until one day I decided to block my own number and call back, just to see who really was calling I think probably 75% or more of the numbers are fake and nonexistent.
Something just occurred to me. Do you have any old VISA cards with FIL's name? If so, could you figure out a way to convince him that old defunct card is his new card, and let him give an erroneous card number to solicitors? You might want to contact the card issuer though to confirm that the number hasn't been reassigned.
How sad. These are robo calls. They will never stop!
I have a friend who separated her mom’s funds. She set up a very small checking account for her mom. That is the only debit card she has allowed her mom to have.
Her mom is like your father in law. She has a huge heart and would give every penny away! This way, her donations are limited to small portions at the time.
By proceeding, I agree that I understand the following disclosures:
I. How We Work in Washington.
Based on your preferences, we provide you with information about one or more of our contracted senior living providers ("Participating Communities") and provide your Senior Living Care Information to Participating Communities. The Participating Communities may contact you directly regarding their services.
APFM does not endorse or recommend any provider. It is your sole responsibility to select the appropriate care for yourself or your loved one. We work with both you and the Participating Communities in your search. We do not permit our Advisors to have an ownership interest in Participating Communities.
II. How We Are Paid.
We do not charge you any fee – we are paid by the Participating Communities. Some Participating Communities pay us a percentage of the first month's standard rate for the rent and care services you select. We invoice these fees after the senior moves in.
III. When We Tour.
APFM tours certain Participating Communities in Washington (typically more in metropolitan areas than in rural areas.) During the 12 month period prior to December 31, 2017, we toured 86.2% of Participating Communities with capacity for 20 or more residents.
IV. No Obligation or Commitment.
You have no obligation to use or to continue to use our services. Because you pay no fee to us, you will never need to ask for a refund.
V. Complaints.
Please contact our Family Feedback Line at (866) 584-7340 or ConsumerFeedback@aplaceformom.com to report any complaint. Consumers have many avenues to address a dispute with any referral service company, including the right to file a complaint with the Attorney General's office at: Consumer Protection Division, 800 5th Avenue, Ste. 2000, Seattle, 98104 or 800-551-4636.
VI. No Waiver of Your Rights.
APFM does not (and may not) require or even ask consumers seeking senior housing or care services in Washington State to sign waivers of liability for losses of personal property or injury or to sign waivers of any rights established under law.
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I authorize A Place For Mom ("APFM") to collect certain personal and contact detail information, as well as relevant health care information about me or from me about the senior family member or relative I am assisting ("Senior Living Care Information").
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APFM may send all communications to me electronically via e-mail or by access to an APFM web site.
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He no longer needs access to this VISA card, so I hope you can find a way to wrangle it away from him. Cut it up. Cancel it!
Ended up changing the incoming phone calls. If you weren’t on a pre-approved list, your phone calls don’t get to the house. There’s nothing but fake phone numbers calling but now they’re gone. I gave the doctors offices my cell number (those appointment reminders don’t usually come from the office number) and that’s how I keep up.
That’s the only way to stop the calls. I turn it off occasionally to see what happens. Within 15 minutes they start right back up again.
You’ve got to do it ASAP before you lose any more money.
Wishing you all the best!
To control the problem you need to take control. That means throwing out junk Mail, including charitable solicitations. I don’t care if it for “homeless kittens” or any other “charity” - legitimate or not. I tell my folks that they have donated enough in their life and that they can let the younger generation pick up where they leave off. Sending a response in to these “charities” leads to more solicitations at best. At worst, it collects the victims phone number and/or financial info which the scammers then use or sell as a “sucker list.” Once their name, address, telephone number is out there the scammers will be relentless and even threatening.
1) Teach your loved one to use caller ID
2) Let unknown calls go to voice mail
3) if 1 and 2 are not workable change the number and/or get an unlisted number and do not give the # to the victim. Provide the # to trusted family. friends and essential businesses/medical providers.
4) throw out/ do not respond to junk mail solicitations of any kind.
5) shred junk mail or at least tear up in little pieces. I dump the cat litter in with mine!
6) Be on alert for repetitive calls, questionable bank transactions, your loved one becoming protective/secretive concerning phone calls/mail
7) Be on alert for compulsive computer activity.
8) Get POA so you can keep an eye on things and intervene as necessary.
These scams can take a few hundred dollars all the way to a person’s life savings. Don’t underestimate the damage that can be done. Vulnerable seniors are targets - someone needs to protect their interests.
That didn't happen very often, as many of the calls I get are robo-called. The same monotonous (probably computerized) voice is always a clue.
has he always given to charity?
How bad is his Dementia ?
If it's real bad then he has no business with a Credit Card.
Maybe you could set up his phone to not receive those types of calls.
You could tell him that there are lots of prank calls and he shouldn't give out his info because they will charge a lot on his card.
Tell him that you will help him do an auto pay to the Charities that he likes and whenever he gets a call just tell them thank you, he's already given and to hang up the phone.
Also hoping someone has POAs for him. This will allow someone to do what needs to be done:
1) take the card away (preferably when he's not looking)
2) cancel the card/close the account
3) if possible, dispute any recent charges
4) If he *must* have a card, use a pre-filled very low limit debit card with no overdraft.
Trying to stop the calls is like trying to plug the dam with your finger. Many are "spoof" calls, using someone else's number which shows up on the caller ID. Even legit charities will take their sweet time to remove him from the list AND will sell his info to whatever mailing lists they get $ from, continuing the cycle with other "charities."
IF there are apps or filters that can be used to reduce the calls, those should be used as well. Contact the service provider (cell and/or landline) to ask what's available. Those calls are SO annoying! I do believe there are also some cell phones that only allow calls from numbers programmed into the phone, most likely for people like FIL. I have NO knowledge about this phone or how much it costs, I'm only using this as an example (found searching 'cell phones for dementia'):
https://www.razmobility.com/solutions/memory-cellphone/
This looks promising - to block numbers not in your contact list (cell phones):
https://www.technipages.com/android-phone-only-allow-calls-from-contacts
For the most part, I just dismiss/ignore the calls if the numbers are not programmed into my contacts. Now that I've posted the ways to block non-contact calls, I may give it a try. But for now, if the calls persist, I block that number (my plan only allows 5 blocks, so they are saved for the VERY annoying ones!) I've been somewhat lucky because when I moved to another state, I kept my old number. Most of the junk calls come from the state I used to live in. The rest come from all over the country and even outside the country, places I've never been and where I don't know anyone, so I dismiss them all. If they are important, they will leave a message. Most of my contacts are up to date, but there are some that either haven't been added yet or come from a business where the outgoing calls can be different from the main phone number. Except for the first year here (one time only), they haven't figured out I live here now, so calls from this area code are generally "safe" for me to answer!
If there are legit calls from trusted sources, like utils, doctors, insurance, bank, etc, have YOUR number posted to replace his number. That way you won't miss the important calls (he may forget to tell someone or not know what to say to them.) Sign up as Rep Payee for SS (the only LEGIT way to manage another person's SS.) This will make YOU the contact point for any SS or Medicare issues. POA may or may not be needed for most of these, I was able to update contact info (mailing address vs residential, phone number, etc) without using the POA. The only exceptions were the bank and CC. NOTE: SS/Medicare do NOT honor POAs - you need to sign up with them as Rep Payee!
Here's an easy mark—Come and get him!!"
Giving away money can negatively impact his ability to get medicaid for a nursing home should that become a need.
Ditch the card.
You do not indicate where he is living or with whom. If he is by himself, he should not be living alone. if he is living with someone they could monitor calls and stop him from giving info out.
.
I don't know what the solution is.
It is sort of like the person who disable their parent’s car, and the parent calls AAA to repair it!
I have a friend who separated her mom’s funds. She set up a very small checking account for her mom. That is the only debit card she has allowed her mom to have.
Her mom is like your father in law. She has a huge heart and would give every penny away! This way, her donations are limited to small portions at the time.