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My elderly parents live in their own house. One has dementia and diabetes, is very stubborn about the possibility of going to assisted living. The other is in her 90's and is showing signs of cognitive degeneration, and wants to go to assisted living.



We pay for their co-pays at the Doctor office or the emergency room since it is easier with a debit card. They are on a fixed income and most of the time, they think that they have already paid us back. I don't disagree due to the dementia.

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Do you hold financial power of attorney?
You should be able to pay using their credit/debit card or reimburse yourself.

Are they on Medicaid?
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If your Mom is willing to go to AL and is able to afford it, by all means help her do this. While this is going on you can make arrangements for her husband to go too, although it may require a "therapeutic fib" to get him there. Once they're there together he will hopefully stay put. Don't sign your name on any documents if you're not their PoA.

BarbBrooklyn is correct in asking if you are the PoA for either of them. Your Mom may still be able to legally assign you. If your Father has just the beginnings of dementia, he may also still be competent enough. If not, the only other option is court-ordered guardianship, either by you or the county.

Consider calling social services for their county and talking about options with a social worker.
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olieball Feb 14, 2024
Thank you for the information about the social worker...I didn't think of that.
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Barb, Yes I do... I am their PoA. They don't have a credit/debit card and they are not on Medicaid. They only have Medicare
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