My younger 54 old brother is a raging drug addict and my younger 50 old sister is an alcoholic, both have sponged off my parents their whole lives. My mother passed away in 2018 , my dad has Parkinson’s and Lewy Dementia and is in hospital now and has been for the last month due to a fall, and is rapidly deteriorating. Last week they were up the hospital and my brother put my dad on the phone while he was there. My brother put the phone to my dads ear and my dad told me to withdraw £200 , £100, for my brother and £100 for my sister, and all this at his hospital bed. I asked why? He told me that they have no money or food. So I did as my dad requested. I met my brother in the middle of the high street to give it to him and he also wanted my sister’s money, I said no I left it at the hospital with dad. Because I knew if I gave him that as well he would have spent that as well on drugs. Once I gave him the money he was so aggressive and smacked me across my face with his newspaper. Started screaming, “ dad wants his wallet “ I said no he doesn’t need it in hospital I buy everything he needs and takes it to him. He then said “ I’m going to have you nicked you *****”. I know why they both want my ill , vulnerable, barely compos mentis dad to have his bank cards in hospital, so they can take full advantage of him. I have visited my dad today and it’s the same thing this week, telling me to get £200 again for them, he probably doesn’t have any recollection that he gave them £200 between them last week. So basically they think they will get this every week, which is £800 per month between them! I know my dad has financed them their whole lives , but I know he wouldn’t have given them each £100 every single week. Having LPA for his Finances and Property, what should I do? Do I do as he says knowing they are both taking absolute advantage of him? Or do I do what I think is in his best interest? I love my dad and I am his main carer , they only visit when they want money it’s absolutely disgusting! Please can anyone give me any advice? Thank you
Here is a thought. Ask the doctor if dad is no longer competent to handle his finances. Where I am, a doctor can fill a form attesting to it. Where I live it is 2 doctors. Depending on the answer, then all finance decisions go to you.
If you are currently handling all of Dad's finances because he is no longer competent to do so himself due to his Lewy's, then you should handle things yourself. You can tell you Dad when he requests money for the relatives with them in the room that you will discuss this later. If you are at all leery or in fear of your somewhat violent siblings I would report any assault at once. In the USA the POA doesn't have to discuss his handling with the others in the family at all. I think you should seek out a counselor in your own country and discuss all this; your dad's POA will pay for that.
The gravy train has reached its final destination, so tell your siblings that. You also should file police reports on your brother for his threats and physical violence. I realize it might not be that big a deal to be hit with a newspaper, but trust me, the police need to be made aware of his every transgression, including attempts to take advantage of a vulnerable adult.