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I have to stop caring for my parents, one is in hospital and one is here at home where, all 3 of us live, but for the last month, I have been, so mentally unstable and in the last week, I've been so close to suicide, I need to stop today and leave, I really don't know what to do, and I can't wait anymore for home packages and support, I have no energy whatsoever to get anything done, and my mind is lost in all the stress, I have to leave immediately or else I might lose control and take my own life, it could happen today tomorrow or even in the next few hours, I never sleep, and when I do, I find it impossible to wake up, I also have type 1 diabetes, and I never can look after myself, my sugar levels are all over the place, when I do feel hungry, I might goto the kitchen to get something, but most of the time, I am asked to do several things, and then have no energy left to even make myself something to eat, I have litrially hit the wall and need help, I have no support, and have no energy to goto any kind of mental health appointments, or to even talk over the phone for help, the last 2 days I have been talked out of killing myself, caused by feeling trapped and stressed more than I believed someone could, I have to leave, but if something happens to them I will feel responsible and guilty, my brain is always in overdrive, is there anyway I can get help and leave today? I'm worried I will go into an uncontrollable Depression and kill myself, I often feel it is the only solution and I can just be at peace for once, I don't wish what I am feeling on anyone, what do I do? Please I'm begging for help!! I'm so anxious and depressed and overwhelmed with the smallest of things.

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First of all, I am so sorry; please know the national helpline for any suicidal ideation is 988. Please call them and they WILL help.

The next thing that I want to suggest to you is that you seriously consider calling yourself for EMS and going to an ER to report your suicidal ideation. This WILL almost certain get you admitted for a 5150, a 72 hour admission and hold to their associated psychiatric department. Not ONLY will this help you be seen, heard, medicated and hooked up with care, but it will also get you access to Social Worker with your need for help with caregiving. You will be heard, and you MUST now be heard before an impulse harms you. While you are admitted to care your other parent will either enter hospital or respite care where they can be given access to care as well.

Heppner, know that you will hear from admins on this site, which is the norm for anyone reporting suicidal ideation. Please get help at once. Call 911 if you must to do so and tell them you are suicidal. I am so very sorry. You are badly in need of help and THERE IS HELP FOR YOU. Don't let a temporary situation have long term consequences.

You should no longer attempt this care which is harmful to you. Don't leave premises without EMS being aware and arranging care or without contact with Police or APS for followup for your parent still at home.
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Reply to AlvaDeer
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Heppner, welcome to the forum. Caring for elders is very stressful, physically and emotionally. It's a tough job. Can you tell us more about your parents, such as their ages, and health issues? Do your parents live with you or do you live in their house?


One thing I noticed about elderly parents is that they don't realize their grown child is now older. I remember my folks (they were in their late 80's and 90's) thought I had the energy of someone in their 30's and 40's, when in fact I was also a senior citizen and my energy level had slowed down big time as I aged.


Time to think of a Plan B for caregiving for your parents. You can say "No" to caring for your parents. Practice saying "I can't possibly do that". Could they budget for a caregiver to come in to take your place during the day? Depending on your parents health, maybe it is time for Assisted Living or Skilled Nursing Facility as it sounds like they now need a village to help them.
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Reply to freqflyer
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Heppner, first and foremost PLEASE listen to everything Alvadear said, she is 100 percent right.

Secondly this is temporary, this can be fixed!

You need professional help. So I don't want to say to much, in fear of saying the wrong thing.

I will say I was once close to where you are today . And I promise, life can be good again! Life can be great, if you let it and those that want and wish to help, help you.

Please, when you can let us know how you are!!!

🙏😔
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Reply to Anxietynacy
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PLEASE CALL THE SUICIDE HOTLINE AT 988 IMMEDIATELY!
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Reply to funkygrandma59
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Got a message from Heppner telling me he is so appreciative of all of our comments. And heartened that total strangers could care.
He lives in Australia: Magaret?

If anyone has ideas how to access help for him, do let him know. He's real low on energy with the caregiving. I know some access to help in the USA but am helpless overseas.
Thanks all.

Take care Heppner. Know that YOU ARE NOT ALONE. I have been on this Forum for five years and I came here so desperate and anxious I almost froze when talked to; I swear I couldn't even HEAR I was so anxious. We have an expression in the states that is "I was a deer frozen in the headlights" and that is pretty much what it was.

It is the hardest thing, but the ONLY thing to know for NOW is that we have to take in deep breathes and we have to let them out slow, and we have to know that THIS is today; tomorrow won't be anything like it. It will be different. Maybe better, maybe not, but take it one day at a time and reach out EVERYWHERE for help. I mean EVERYWHERE. I am not a person of faith, not a believer, but I would run kicking and screaming into any church for help if I thought there was someone with ideas to guide and help me.
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Reply to AlvaDeer
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Here is an update written by Heppner. www.agingcare.com/questions/im-currently-trying-to-get-some-respite-so-i-can-go-and-relax-and-forget-about-everything-i-am-curre-490221.htm?
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Reply to freqflyer
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Been there with one, two is too much. Do yourself a favor and prioritize your health and wellbeing first. Not everything they want or even need has to happen before you get food, showered and rested. Call on other family if you can, or call for respite help from your local senior center.
Even before help arrives though, begin. Make sure you are eating healthy. Epson salt baths help with relaxation. Let your LOs know you need their help in this. Let them know they will need to be patient and understanding of your needs also in order for you to help them.
You must do this. Begin now.
I am sorry for your burden. I wish you all the best, and know that your are doing way better than you think, and you are important.
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Reply to PeaceNQuiet
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