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Who are you caring for?
Which best describes their mobility?
How well are they maintaining their hygiene?
How are they managing their medications?
Does their living environment pose any safety concerns?
Fall risks, spoiled food, or other threats to wellbeing
Are they experiencing any memory loss?
Which best describes your loved one's social life?
Acknowledgment of Disclosures and Authorization
By proceeding, I agree that I understand the following disclosures:
I. How We Work in Washington. Based on your preferences, we provide you with information about one or more of our contracted senior living providers ("Participating Communities") and provide your Senior Living Care Information to Participating Communities. The Participating Communities may contact you directly regarding their services. APFM does not endorse or recommend any provider. It is your sole responsibility to select the appropriate care for yourself or your loved one. We work with both you and the Participating Communities in your search. We do not permit our Advisors to have an ownership interest in Participating Communities.
II. How We Are Paid. We do not charge you any fee – we are paid by the Participating Communities. Some Participating Communities pay us a percentage of the first month's standard rate for the rent and care services you select. We invoice these fees after the senior moves in.
III. When We Tour. APFM tours certain Participating Communities in Washington (typically more in metropolitan areas than in rural areas.) During the 12 month period prior to December 31, 2017, we toured 86.2% of Participating Communities with capacity for 20 or more residents.
IV. No Obligation or Commitment. You have no obligation to use or to continue to use our services. Because you pay no fee to us, you will never need to ask for a refund.
V. Complaints. Please contact our Family Feedback Line at (866) 584-7340 or ConsumerFeedback@aplaceformom.com to report any complaint. Consumers have many avenues to address a dispute with any referral service company, including the right to file a complaint with the Attorney General's office at: Consumer Protection Division, 800 5th Avenue, Ste. 2000, Seattle, 98104 or 800-551-4636.
VI. No Waiver of Your Rights. APFM does not (and may not) require or even ask consumers seeking senior housing or care services in Washington State to sign waivers of liability for losses of personal property or injury or to sign waivers of any rights established under law.I agree that: A.I authorize A Place For Mom ("APFM") to collect certain personal and contact detail information, as well as relevant health care information about me or from me about the senior family member or relative I am assisting ("Senior Living Care Information"). B.APFM may provide information to me electronically. My electronic signature on agreements and documents has the same effect as if I signed them in ink. C.APFM may send all communications to me electronically via e-mail or by access to an APFM web site. D.If I want a paper copy, I can print a copy of the Disclosures or download the Disclosures for my records. E.This E-Sign Acknowledgement and Authorization applies to these Disclosures and all future Disclosures related to APFM's services, unless I revoke my authorization. You may revoke this authorization in writing at any time (except where we have already disclosed information before receiving your revocation.) This authorization will expire after one year. F.You consent to APFM's reaching out to you using a phone system than can auto-dial numbers (we miss rotary phones, too!), but this consent is not required to use our service.
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Mostly Independent
Your loved one may not require home care or assisted living services at this time. However, continue to monitor their condition for changes and consider occasional in-home care services for help as needed.
Remember, this assessment is not a substitute for professional advice.
Share a few details and we will match you to trusted home care in your area:
I have a lot of questions. Do you currently work and will you have to give up your job to take care of mom? What is mom's financial situation? Do you live together? I took FMLA from my job when my mother was dying of cancer. While she could still make decisions, she, my brother and myself decided she would pay me what I was making at my job to be her full time caretaker. It was a blessed time to get to be her that last year.
Deb, I see from your profile that your mother has dementia.
Here is your difficulty. The question of whether you should be compensated for providing care is not for you or your brothers to answer; it is, or was, your mother's decision.
Is your mother still able to understand the issue? Does any of you children have power of attorney?
Deb, the vast majority of grown children taken care of a parent do not get paid... unless that parent can afford to pay you a salary..... if yes, then you would need to draw up an employment agreement which Mom's signs, as this document can become very important if for some reason your Mom needs to use Medicaid [which is different from Medicare].
If you are planning on leaving a full time job that has benefits, this will cost you much more than just your salary. There is the net $$$ worth of company offered health insurance.... company offered life insurance... paid sick days... paid vacation days.... payroll deductions for Social Security and Medicare.... matching 401(k) benefit.... profit share... etc. And the biggest thing I found, being around people of my own generation.
If Mom can pay you a salary, then she could pay for a caregiver to come in to help her, thus allowing you to continue working. I have read here on the forums where grown children had lost their life savings being a caregiver.
Thank you all for your wisdom. I am disabled myself, so no I don't work. Mother doesn't have much money herself either. We are all on a budget. She could never afford to hire anyone. That is why she is living with me. Plus the fact that I want her near me. I do treasure this time so. I just didn't know if I should or could count on some financial assistance from my mother and brothers for caring for her. I have read so many different articles on how I should be getting some sort of compensation. But from what you're saying, that is not the case, so I'll let it go. Thank you again everyone.
Smeshque, while that is a consoling thought I have found it cuts very little ice with my landlord or my utilities providers when their bills fall due.
Deb, if you receive any kind of benefits, make sure the agencies who assess you are aware of your and your mother's circumstances. It may be that one or both of you is entitled to more financial support than you are currently getting.
As far as your brothers are concerned, of course I don't know if they are in a position to help you or not. But again do make sure they are aware of what the situation is: keep records of expenses, try to be specific about what kind of help they could offer that would make a difference.
If you don't ask, you don't get! - and there is *nothing* wrong with asking nicely.
By proceeding, I agree that I understand the following disclosures:
I. How We Work in Washington.
Based on your preferences, we provide you with information about one or more of our contracted senior living providers ("Participating Communities") and provide your Senior Living Care Information to Participating Communities. The Participating Communities may contact you directly regarding their services.
APFM does not endorse or recommend any provider. It is your sole responsibility to select the appropriate care for yourself or your loved one. We work with both you and the Participating Communities in your search. We do not permit our Advisors to have an ownership interest in Participating Communities.
II. How We Are Paid.
We do not charge you any fee – we are paid by the Participating Communities. Some Participating Communities pay us a percentage of the first month's standard rate for the rent and care services you select. We invoice these fees after the senior moves in.
III. When We Tour.
APFM tours certain Participating Communities in Washington (typically more in metropolitan areas than in rural areas.) During the 12 month period prior to December 31, 2017, we toured 86.2% of Participating Communities with capacity for 20 or more residents.
IV. No Obligation or Commitment.
You have no obligation to use or to continue to use our services. Because you pay no fee to us, you will never need to ask for a refund.
V. Complaints.
Please contact our Family Feedback Line at (866) 584-7340 or ConsumerFeedback@aplaceformom.com to report any complaint. Consumers have many avenues to address a dispute with any referral service company, including the right to file a complaint with the Attorney General's office at: Consumer Protection Division, 800 5th Avenue, Ste. 2000, Seattle, 98104 or 800-551-4636.
VI. No Waiver of Your Rights.
APFM does not (and may not) require or even ask consumers seeking senior housing or care services in Washington State to sign waivers of liability for losses of personal property or injury or to sign waivers of any rights established under law.
I agree that:
A.
I authorize A Place For Mom ("APFM") to collect certain personal and contact detail information, as well as relevant health care information about me or from me about the senior family member or relative I am assisting ("Senior Living Care Information").
B.
APFM may provide information to me electronically. My electronic signature on agreements and documents has the same effect as if I signed them in ink.
C.
APFM may send all communications to me electronically via e-mail or by access to an APFM web site.
D.
If I want a paper copy, I can print a copy of the Disclosures or download the Disclosures for my records.
E.
This E-Sign Acknowledgement and Authorization applies to these Disclosures and all future Disclosures related to APFM's services, unless I revoke my authorization. You may revoke this authorization in writing at any time (except where we have already disclosed information before receiving your revocation.) This authorization will expire after one year.
F.
You consent to APFM's reaching out to you using a phone system than can auto-dial numbers (we miss rotary phones, too!), but this consent is not required to use our service.
Here is your difficulty. The question of whether you should be compensated for providing care is not for you or your brothers to answer; it is, or was, your mother's decision.
Is your mother still able to understand the issue? Does any of you children have power of attorney?
If you are planning on leaving a full time job that has benefits, this will cost you much more than just your salary. There is the net $$$ worth of company offered health insurance.... company offered life insurance... paid sick days... paid vacation days.... payroll deductions for Social Security and Medicare.... matching 401(k) benefit.... profit share... etc. And the biggest thing I found, being around people of my own generation.
If Mom can pay you a salary, then she could pay for a caregiver to come in to help her, thus allowing you to continue working. I have read here on the forums where grown children had lost their life savings being a caregiver.
I am disabled myself, so no I don't work. Mother doesn't have much money herself either. We are all on a budget. She could never afford to hire anyone. That is why she is living with me. Plus the fact that I want her near me. I do treasure this time so. I just didn't know if I should or could count on some financial assistance from my mother and brothers for caring for her. I have read so many different articles on how I should be getting some sort of compensation. But from what you're saying, that is not the case, so I'll let it go. Thank you again everyone.
Deb, if you receive any kind of benefits, make sure the agencies who assess you are aware of your and your mother's circumstances. It may be that one or both of you is entitled to more financial support than you are currently getting.
As far as your brothers are concerned, of course I don't know if they are in a position to help you or not. But again do make sure they are aware of what the situation is: keep records of expenses, try to be specific about what kind of help they could offer that would make a difference.
If you don't ask, you don't get! - and there is *nothing* wrong with asking nicely.