Is anyone else's 88 year old mother being catfished via scammer on Facebook?
I've proven it to her over and over. The scammer she loves is using the face of another person on Facebook. He tells her he loves her, he is on an oil rig in Iceland, he posts no personal photos (except those stolen from the other Facebook person), he gives no details of his current life, he "makes up" poetry for her "from his heart" and I show her where he got them. I've shown her other women who he's used the same opening to engage them: Saw you on Facebook and you look like a nice person, etc.) He has not asked for money yet. My fear is, he will before I can stop it. My siblings have all told her to stop communicating with him -- so now she is hiding it. She told us she stopped communicating (Oh, btw, he doesn't communicate through Facebook now - he only writes her through Google Hangouts, so the conversations are encrypted.) My research shows there is nothing I can do legally until he requests money. At this point, they are just in love with each other. His stolen profile pictures are of a 50+ man but, of course, he says age is just a number. Research also shows that I could be considered just a greedy "child" (at 65) afraid my mother will fall in love and have no money to leave me. She doesn't have that much, but what she has gives her a nice life right now. I want her to be happy and know she is lonely for this companionship, but it's so dangerous and so obvious (to me) a scam, it can't be good. I don't want her to have to hide, so I've stopped telling her to cut off communication in hopes she will confide in me. I'm sick about this and feel helpless. Any suggestions?
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If she has been diagnosed as such you could obtain Guardianship and then you would have control of her accounts so she could not withdraw money if this person(s) ask. (I use the term person because you really have no idea as to the sex or if it is just 1 person or if this is a room full of people)
Discuss options with an Elder Care Attorney. They may advise placing money in a Trust or you or another sibling having control without a Trust.
This might be your only option other than waiting and hoping you do not have to clean up a mess.
BTW..even if she does not send money I hope she does not give out personal info like Social Security Number, Bank info, and any credit card numbers.
With Facebook you may have been able to report this person. Same with Google.
If u have POA and Moms doctor has found her incompetent to handle her affairs, then in her best interest you maybe able to shut down her credit cards and make it hard to access her bank accounts. I have heard banks shutting down a persons account if they feel something suspicious is going on. Years ago someone was writing checks on my grandmothers account who suffered from ALZ. The bank set up that only my Uncle could sign and he had a number assigned that he included with his signature. If that number was not there, the bank would not cash the check. So you might want to talk to Moms bank to see what they can do to help.
Have you been able to talk/message this person to tell him that Moms family is watching?
I have noticed that I am starting to get friend requests from men my age. Their timeline is very scarce. Mainly just a few pictures. I am over 70 with white hair. This is even after I have set my settings on Facebook to private, friends only. The only thing I haven't shut down is someone being able to "search" for me.
If you are joint on any of her accounts, I would be move to protect these funds but be careful not to do anything that could appear as "gifting" on a Medicaid app. Do you have any ability to move her funds to an account that would be more difficult for her to access? Please understand that she is beyond reason so don't waste any more energy on trying to convince her. She's like a teenager in love: the more you try to break the up the more she wants him just because. Ugh...so sorry for this stress. If you have success on any front please come back and give us an update. Wishing you success and peace in your heart.
You can block people on Facebook, so it'd be a good idea to get on her account and do that at least. Don't tell her, but if you can cut off his access bit by bit, it's a start.
Also do all the other things suggested here to secure her bank accounts and assets.
You’re not interfering, or depriving her of a ‘friendship.’ You are interested in protecting her.
Do whatever it takes to nip this in the bud. Trust your instincts. He’s a SCAM ARTIST!
What would happen if mom would lose her nest egg to this sleazy character? I don’t think you would want to find out the answer to that.
Your mom is lonely and taken in by this man. Sadly, she is delusional.
I find it despicable that people can stoop so low to prey on the most vulnerable people on earth.
God bless the children, elderly, homeless, mentally and physically challenged, abandoned and all vulnerable life. It’s incredibly sad 😞.
It’ll be on record in case someone else reports them. FB may take action then.
As Geaton said, if she's not too far gone with dementia, get her finances in order immediately. If possible, with powers of attorney in place. Don't bring up her Lothario as the reason for it. Tell her you read something on Facebook about how important it is.
If she is too far gone to make competent decisions, get with an attorney to get guardianship.
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