My sister has dementia and Alzheimer's disease caused from three strokes. She also has severe coronary disease. She now weighs 88 lbs. and has trouble eating. She's paralyzed on the left side. She was able to walk until recently. She seems to have gotten a lot weaker. She now spends more sleeping. The nursing home has called Hospice in for an evaluation and she has been accepted. I've asked the nurses what all this means. The answer I got is that she isn't dying and that Hospice will let the family know when it gets to that point. Also they say she can been in Hospice for up to three years. The nurses say that she'll get more intensive care than what they give her. Medicare & Medicaid limit the drugs that they (nursing home, can give her. I live 600 miles away & it's difficult for me to get there to access her myself. I feel that they aren't telling me everything. She has a husband & daughter there but I don't feel they are in the position to really understand/accept the inevitable. Has anyone else experienced a love one going into Hospice if the end isn't near? Thanks you for your responses.
The hospice evaluation determined that she is in the final stage of her diseases, that there is no chance of recovery, and that she is likely to die within six months. This evaluation is based on a lot of experience with the dying, but it is not infallible.
My mother was on hospice care in a nursing home. She got additional attention, helpful equipment, and a lifting of the red tape needed to manage her drugs. It was a positive experience. After 3 months she no longer appeared to be at the end of her life span and she was discharged from the program. She lived another 2+ years.
Be patient with yourself, Georgiagirl. Be patient with your family members. We all come to terms with impending death in our own ways. Shock is a typical first reaction.
She told me last time I saw her that she didn't want to die in the nursing home. I told her that I would make sure when that time comes that she'll be able to go home. I also told her I would come help take care of her. And I will do exactly that if I have the families' support.
Georgiagirl, I am sorry for your loss. I wish you could have had the same outcome that we have had with hospice.
For others faced with the decision to call in Hospice it is never too early. If they don't feel their loved one COULD die within six months the won't admit them then end of story till the reach the appropriate condition for admission.
In this case the Mom was showing serious signs of decline of which continuing weight loss is a serious consideration. Of course with the proper care people can and do improve enough to be discharged and go home.
Hospice nurses are frequently referred to as "The Angels of death" true they are frequently present but do nothing to achieve that end.
When someone enters a hospice program they may continue to be cared for by their own Dr or else by the hospice medical directer. Regular medications are only discontinued when they are seen as a burden rather than a help for their condition. Hospice professionals recognize that differing amounts of medications such as those for pain and anxiety may need to be given in larger doses at the end of life as these symptoms frequently increase greatly in just a few hours and no one wants to watch their loved one die in pain or distress.
Again so sorry for your loss Georgiagirl especially as you were hoping Mom still had some good time ahead of her. Sadly it was not to be.I hope you get good support for your grief from hospice. please take advantage of their grief counseling.
It still seems like a dream. I can't believe she's gone...Thank you.