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I think this is a good example for us to make sure we leave instructions for our loved ones what our own wishes are so they dont have to face this question themselves.
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To Paul Greg, the oxygen with moisture that my husband was being given, is where the doctors ordered water, I assume that was distilled was put in the container that is part of the instrument that sends the oxygen to the patient. As the oxygen comes through it has a very fine mist of the water and helps to keep the nasal passage and inside of his mouth and throat from getting so dry. Being my husband was fully breathing with his mouth open the entire time that he was in the hospital that was the only hydration he was given. I had asked about giving him something for hydration but they said anything other than what he was getting would just make things more uncomfortable and difficult for him to cope with. He has for years breathed with his mouth open so he had a dry mouth all the time. He had been checked a year or so ago by an ENT dr. to check for any obstruction in his nose and sinuses and both were clear. That is the best way that I can explain the oxygen with moisture. Hope this helps.
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The answer you seek, is there before you. Its in your own written words, but more importantly in your Mother's written words of her living will. I wish you all peace in your heart and peace in your mind.
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Why wouldn't you follow her request for no food or hydration? Surely that is the most moral thing you could do.
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worriedinCali Jan 2019
I‘m not directing this at the OP but it seems many who don’t want to follow the request disagree with their loved ones choice and think that prolonging life is the moral thing to do. I should say, it’s not the act of prolonging life that they think is moral. They think withholding food and water is immoral.
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I'm realizing I'm answering a lot of replies here without giving much of my own information. Currently caring for my beloved mother, who has an end of life medical directive that she does not want food or water, hydration or gastric feeding, spoon feeding or anything else if she is in stage 6 or 7 and has no quality of life left.

I feel very strongly that this is a disease that robs its victims of control over their own lives, and to take away their final requests, what these dementia victims took great care to "control" in their last moments of sanity, is just cruel and in fact immoral. A gastric feeding tube, antibiotics, or hydration may make us feel better, but simply prolongs the life of the sufferer unnaturally, in a way that they themselves have specified they do not want. How sad. Surely we can give our loved ones the dignity of letting their last wishes be carried out.

Regardless of my views or yours, I wish all of you Godspeed in dealing with this terrible disease.
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Hi Tnekver62,
Before I forget, please know your mom can hear you even though she can't respond. Many don't realize this and talk abrout things that would be better said outside the room. I kicked a doctor out of my dads room because she was talking like he wasn't there. (Old nurses can be b*tchy, can't we?)

I think it boils down to how you interpret the word "artificial". Your mom is still swallowing and that is a normal human way of eating, even though she has to be fed.

I think 'artificial means' would be tubes and IV's. When you feed a baby his meal on a spoon, is that artificial? What if your mother was healthy but had no arms to feed herself?

Now, if your mom is keeping the food pocketed in her cheeks or couldn't/wouldn't swallow, then a decision would need to be made for "artificial" feeding methods.

I was in your shoes a few years ago. My dad had a stroke-couldn't swallow but was still alert. They put in a feeding tube. He had 2 more deviatating strokes and was unresponsive. His body was shutting down and his feeding liquid would not empty into his intestines. If the stomach won't empty its contents, you can't force more in. He died a few days later.

I'm sorry for your mom and you. May God give you the right decisions.
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