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Had to take my 90 yr old mom to the hospital via ambulance today, she hurt her back somehow several days ago, I began doing everything for her til she could recover but she got worse and worse quickly, til she was so weak this morning she couldn’t get out of bed.Did Not want to go to the hospital but I made that decision for her. CT Scan shows vertebral compression fracture, pneumonia, VERY low potassium and magnesium levels. She got sick so fast!
Doctor finally came in and said this is likely “the beginning of the end”. Is this true?? She had been doing so well up until her back began hurting.

A different perspective is that she didn’t have a long drawn out illness impacting quality of life and causing years of stress (because you love her so much so always worry). That sort of long period of “sick” becomes what you’d remember when you think of her.

90 is a good run. keep her comfortable and stay with her as you can this final chapter. It will be comforting for her to know you will be okay without her.

I am sure she knows how much you love her and your presence will give her comfort.
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Reply to Lmkcbz
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You won’t know until her body has done what it can do to mend her. Lack of magnesium is common but serious as most of us don’t have adequate magnesium in our bones and muscles. Hopefully they are giving her magnesium. It can really help her feel better. Potassium is of course vital.
My mom had a compression fracture in her 90s. I think about 95. She was not a candidate for the kyphoplasty. Therapy was what helped her. She was in extreme pain when she moved, knew the pain meds would constipate her but took them to get moving. She also found ice packs helpful.
When she went to rehab the combo of the poor diet and trauma of being hospitalized and the rehab probably combined to cause her CHF to flare and she ended up back in ICU. After stabilizing her CHF she completed her therapy in the hospital instead of a rehab.
My mom was very strong until she fell and suffered the fracture. It took a lot out of her.
It will depend on your mom’s ability to respond to meds and her willingness to be up sitting in a chair to keep the pneumonia away and doing the therapy. Managing the pain will enable her to participate if she is not too debilitated. It is very much an individual matter.
My mom said she didn’t hurt at all as long as she was sitting in a chair. Lidocaine patches also really helped her.

Let us know how you and your mom are doing.

In our 90s I suppose any new development can be the beginning of the end relatively speaking.
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Reply to 97yroldmom
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The fact that she got sick so fast is evidence that this is indeed the beginning of the end. She is too weak to recover sufficiently from this. Even if best case scenario she manages to recover from her current issues, this event has caused enough damage to significantly weaken her, and she will continue to decline.

Please seek hospice or palliative care for her to keep her comfortable. If she makes a full recovery and shows improvement, hospice will simply discharge her from hospice care. They will not help to kill her, as many people fear. But, they will keep her medicated which could leave her heavily sedated, only adding to her growing weakness. Follow the doctor's guidance on this.
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Reply to CaringWifeAZ
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When the end finally happened for fil this week, it seemed very sudden but came at the end of six years of intervention. There had been nine operations and 15 hospitalizations. We thought he would pull through his third stroke as he had the first two. But at some point, it becomes about managing the end.
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Reply to PeggySue2020
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I am so sorry your family is going through this, as I know it is so stressful! It is certainly possible for them to correct some of these ailments, but it is true that people are healthy-until they are not. Sometimes it does come on very quickly. My Mom seemed so strong with her illness, and just like that she could not get out of bed, and was taken to the hospital. She never made it back home. I never thought she would not be back home. I stayed in the hospital with her, hoping she would be released like so many times before. Just like that she failed a swallow test and was whisked off to the Hospice part of the hospital. They drugged her heavily and there was no way to even speak anymore. Days later she passed. It was EXTREMELY stressful for our family! She was our rock, the love of my Dad’s life, our kids sweet grandma, and my precious Mom! It all seemed to happen so fast, and I too wondered is this it, is she really going to be gone? Unfortunately, she was gone, and the house remained exactly the same for 1 year. It looked like she was just at the store and would be back at any moment. Our family immediately started taking care of my dad. We had kids in high school, trying to prepare for college, and it was the toughest of times. We remodeled the inside of the home, but it will always feel empty without them. My Father lived for a few years after my Mom passed, but the quality of life in the 90’s is difficult. You can still have good times, but the health issues make life harder for everyone. I wish the best for you all!

🙏❤️🍀

never expected her last text before the
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Reply to Tiger8
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If mom hurt her middle back and has a compression fracture there, in the thoracic spine, she's likely unable to take nice deep breaths which brought on the pneumonia. Khytoplasty to repair the spine with cement is not as easy as it sounds and general anesthesia is required. I've had a lot pain in the area since the day it was performed on me 3 yrs ago.

Nothing is easy about your mother's condition at this point. My mother had her second or third bout of pneumonia at 92. The doctor did not think she'd make it, but she did. Becoming wheelchair bound and going into Memory Care Assisted Living where she lived 3 more years in misery.

Nobody can predict the outcome here, but when pneumonia takes an elder, it's quick and painless.

Best of luck to you.
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Reply to lealonnie1
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They are good till their not.

My Mom fell and fractured her L1. They did a procedure were they were able to put some sealant into the fracture to reduce the pain and let her heal. It was done by just puncturing a hole in her back.

The rest of her problems can be solved by giving her potassium, magnesium and antibiotics for the pneumonia. Pneumonia will be her main problem. It can cause Dementia type symptoms.
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Reply to JoAnn29
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ShirleyDot Mar 24, 2026
This is called kyphoplasty and it is not without risk. If the fractures are from osteoporosis, the other vertebrae are also weak and hardening one vertebrae can stress the others unevenly and cause more fractures. This happened to my MIL and caused multiple additional compression fractures and even more pain.
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Is she cogent enough to communicate her wishes for treatment or no further treatment? If so, I'd have this conversation with her and maybe even get it in writing so that you don't have to make those decisions or second-guess yourself after she passes.

Back pain is extremely painful. One goal should be that she's as comfortable as possible. I'm sorry you are both going through this. I wish you wisdom and peace in your heart as you go on this journey with her.
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ElizabethAR37 13 hours ago
Yes, I can attest to that! I have scoliosis and osteoarthritis--quite possibly osteoporosis, too, although that's an unknown. Years ago, I refused to be tested. I had absolutely no desire to take osteoporosis drugs with all their horrific side effects. My back pain is level 4-6+ most days, which is unquestionably debilitating, but so far it has been somewhat bearable with low dosages of Tylenol #3 and occasionally other therapies. When that changes, I hope to qualify for palliative care--or a one-way trip to Switzerland. (I'm 89 and have no wish for 90s-level longevity.)
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Doctors make statements like this based on their training and experience. Like us, they don’t have insider information on when the end of life may come, but they do have extensive education and experience. My dad long told me of pneumonia being called “the old man’s friend” as it’s a common cause of death in a painless way. Electrolyte issues also are often game changers in the elderly. Advanced age often means swift change in status. I view this as a blessing in light of watching both my parents decline so slowly over many years. I’m sorry you’re experiencing this with your mom and wish you both peace
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Reply to Daughterof1930
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The doctor said that this is "likely" the beginning of the end, and your moms doctors are not God, so make sure they're treating moms low potassium and magnesium levels, her pneumonia and her compression fracture and then see what happens.
Only God knows the day and time that He will take your mom Home.
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Reply to funkygrandma59
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Sue, it is a difficult thing to accept, but your mother is 90, and most people don't make it that far. Think of the time now as an opportunity to prepare yourself and to make the days as comfortable as possible for your mother, and as gentle on yourself as possible. I hope you can find peace in your heart.
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Reply to MG8522
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Compression fractures are extremely painful. MIL had these and said she wanted to die. It was awful. She needed fentanyl patches to get her comfortable and a back brace. It took a while to get to this point but OxyContin was not enough for her pain level.
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