My father has been in assisted living for months now and it is much better for everyone than when he lived alone at home. However it's not perfect and it's stressful for me in large part because my brother has the POA and I can't say too much without conflict. I'm wondering if this stress is causing me to find certain everyday situations very annoying. For example:
I was in the grocery store in I go to the aisle I want. Right where the product I want is a heavy set woman, maybe in her 40's, in mobility scooter and three other people, one man and two women, with her. The woman is saying things like "Get that one, no that one." to the others. The one woman tries to get something off the shelf and it falls to the ground. The man is making constant fart sounds. They are blocking the aisle so I stay about 15 feet away hoping they go away. But they continue to carry on like this. It's not that bad. Right?
About 2 minutes of this I involuntarily say out loud under my breath, "What the hell, how annoying!" and I leave the aisle. I go back about 5 minutes later and the people are gone. I starting looking for the product and all of a sudden those people come back into the aisle! They are all acting the same, fart sounds included, and I just turn around and leave. When I finally got out of that store I was so relived. I felt really annoyed. Does anyone else feel this way about certain situations like this but didn't feel that way before having other stressful events in your life?
So no, I cannot imagine being annoyed by what you describe.
Try to have a broader perspective. Try to concentrate more on how lucky you are.
Excuse me, is still VERY effective.
A simple, "Excuse me, can I get in there" would have saved us all from this ridiculous post.
It's just you.
What you are describing is 'life' in the world.
People are all around. We have to be aware that not everyone acts like we'd like them to.
You are talking about something that is very much a "First world problem".
Yes, it's hard to have compassion--but you don't what these people are fighting against in their lives.
Maybe by being part of the solution, instead of snarking at people under your breath-you'd be happier.
No matter how stressed 'I' am, I really try to make a point of being kind to all the people I encounter in my daily life. I am by no means perfect, but I sure get a better 'wah' from people when I am kind, rather than acting privileged.
A simple 'excuse me, can I squeeze past you' would have solved the 'problem'.
You should be grateful those farts weren't the silent but deadly kind.
Now about you waiting in the aisle while it filled with the adorous scent of God knows what should make you question your own sanity.
Everyone knows you have to wait at least 15 minutes before entering a biohazardous fart zone lest you are over come by said noxious odor and find yourself passed out in said aisle at the mercy of these horrible people.
Please read JoAnn’s posting to you.
Go back and read your response to JoAnn. Now, pretend that you are someone else who is reading your response. How would you interpret your response?
May I speak honestly with you about this particular post? Without you becoming defensive? I know that you’re stressed, just realize that my comments aren’t in any way a criticism of you personally. I understand how much you care about your father’s well being.
Hey, if you don’t like what I have to say, you don’t have to respond back. Deal? Fair enough? I won’t be offended.
Go see a therapist and say to them exactly what you said to JoAnn. I will tell you what my therapist said to me when I felt the need to control everything.
He asked me, “Why is it so important for you to be in control? Does it really matter who does what and how they do it as long as the job gets done?”
Do you know what I came to realize? My therapist was right and that I had an ego problem and a controlling issue and I was packaging it as “caring.” My therapist was objective enough to see the situation accurately. I was grateful for his willingness to present thought provoking questions to me.
Lisa, do you really think that you let go of this situation? I don’t. I really don’t.
Trust me, I have had my share of issues with brothers. I’m grateful everyday that I found peace. It is so worth it. There is healing, regardless of your situation with your family, if you are willing to seek help. I don’t mean one or two sessions. Make a commitment to invest in therapy for yourself. Take the opportunity to learn and grow. There is no joy in remaining stagnant, drowning in despair.
Please get a life and quit bothering the good folks on this forum with your nonsense.
Surely you have more important things to do right? Or do you?
After reading your posts it occurred to me that where I live now is definitely different then where I moved from. It is much more densely populated here and so there are more different types of people and situations around.
I never thought things would go this way for my father and my brother would treat me in such a disrespectful way. I am now much more able now to distance my self from my brother, physically and mentally, but the recent past actually haunts me! I can't even believe I feel that. I used to be completely "together" and had everything under control. I have a lot to be thankful for, as some of you have said, but like I said there is a point at which it's so difficult. It feels good to at least tell someone, like via this forum, how I feel. I do feel better. Thanks again.
I may have mentioned this before, can’t remember, but you can always post on “My Whine Moment Today” thread.
That post is filled with people posting about big and small annoyances. Many of us chat on there periodically.
Feel free to put in your 2 cents at the whine thread.
Our choice.
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