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Hello, please know I feel like a fool. So, my grandparents have always helped me with money when needed. No illegal activity or drugs, just married young with kids and broke. Anytime I asked for help they gladly did it. Honestly, if they hadn’t, I would have stopped asking. We were very close. They got me a car when I needed it, very fortunate to be able to help. I am POA, signed all the stuff. I think I will be executor when the time comes. They have everything in an estate that I do not manage (that has more than enough for them to live comfortably) except a checking account for anything needed. I am an owner also on the account. Long ago I started writing checks to myself when needed-and agreed on, they knew! They also help pay for my kids school. So one has passed and one has dementia. I do the same as I always have, if I need help with bills I write a check. Saw something on TV about embezzlement and decided to google it. Am I committing embezzlement? I feel like a total idiot and I am terrified. I never ever would pay for anything I thought they would say no to. Do I need a lawyer? Please any advice appreciated please know I feel absolutely horrible.

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In a nutshell, yes you are committing embezzlement. This is pure elder abuse. Just because you love them and they freely gave you money in the past does not mean you can just write yourself a check and it doesn't mean that you haven't been abusing the situation. This is robbery. You feel horrible? Did you not realize how wrong it was to write yourself a check from their account? Come on, man. It's robbery. Stop it immediately. If you have financial problems, you need to solve those yourself and not keep leaning (or robbing) your grandparents. Sorry if that sounds harsh, but it should be harsh. Their money is for THEM only and their care.
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Reply to Jacquelinezr
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Your remaining grandparent has dementia , meaning she/he is no longer competent to agree to you writing gift checks to yourself . As POA you are committing financial abuse of an elder.

You should return the money you have been taking from the remaining grandparent with dementia .

If this grandparent needs Medicaid within 5 years of the last time you gifted yourself , you could potentially be in trouble with the law . As well as your grandparent would be denied Medicaid .

I don’t understand why you thought it was morally ok to continue to write yourself checks when the grandparent with dementia is no longer competent .

You rationalize it by saying they always had enough to live on and they’ve always agreed to it before and now only feel bad when you find out you are embezzling .
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Reply to waytomisery
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Everything's in an estate that you do not manage, ie what does this mean? That you aren't a trustee? Or not a financial planner? How are you able to write out checks without the estate manager(s) knowing it?
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Reply to Geaton777
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If the one that is living has enough money to privately pay for her care for at least 5 years you should be OKAY as far as her getting Medicaid coverage down the road if needed. It all depends on how much money she has. You should stop writing checks for yourself out of her account right now though. No need for a lawyer at this point, where the potential problem may arise is if she needs to apply for long term care Medicaid. Medicaid workers will look at her financial transactions over the past 5 years and question unusual withdrawals and transfers. If it gets to that point, you will have to explain yourself.
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Reply to mstrbill
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You are committing theft and elder abuse.
Are you telling us there is some question in your mind about that?
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Reply to AlvaDeer
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Jacquelinezr 2 hours ago
The cluelessness is what astounds me. Gosh, it's wrong for me to write myself a check from their account? Gosh, who knew?? This type of behavior is enraging.
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Talking to a lawyer wouldn't go amiss.

There could be issues with the situation, now that one gparent has passed and the other is not competent.

IDK if this is embezzlement, I'm not a lawyer, but you should definitely get the legal end of this dealt with.
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Reply to Midkid58
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AlvaDeer 16 hours ago
It is theft. It is elder abuse. It is a POA enriching himself which is a breach of Fiduciary duty. This is both legally and morally WRONG. Gifting money is fine. I do it. It needs to be clear and within the guidelines of the Federal Government tax wise and it needs to be up front and clear and done by someone COMPETENT to do so.
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As their poa, you took on responsibility to have their money doled out for THEIR needs. Not your kids’ private school, not your own family’s stuff. The only thing you can hope for truly is that the surviving spouse here does not need Medicaid in the next five years as you’ve been gifting yourself.

Your grandparents are not your atm.
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Reply to PeggySue2020
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Boucheran 17 hours ago
You are absolutely right. Luckily money is not an issue for them. I will say the school was agreed on before the POA was needed, they knew about it and initially offered. Thank you for your response.
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