My Mom 89, fell 4 weeks ago and broke her hip. After surgery she was in acute therapy for 9 days and did not progress much so we figured therapy 3 times a day was just too much for her. 2 weeks ago we moved her to sub-acute therapy in a SNF-Rehab center and at first she did ok but constantly has complained about the pain. She had gotten a touch of pneumonia and couldn't breathe and walking took to much out of her, she also has become very anxious so we tried Xanax only for 2 days and she couldn't handle that because it made her way to loopy even the smallest dose. Now she has totally regressed...before the fall she lived alone and was shaky walking without a walker and did alot of sleeping during the day. Had some short term memory loss but now it seems that dementia is taking over and she has lost all will to try to walk. She basically went from last week taking 19 steps to this week barely taking 2 steps. She's been through alot but it seems like she is digressing and not interested in getting back to her home. We know it's only a matter of time before we have to put her in LTC. I have heard that a fall like this could change an 89 yr old completely but it is killing us to have to get rid of her apt and move her to LTC. How did you handle this if you went through something similar? Breaking my heart to see a woman who used to fight fight fight give up on it all :(
If your mother will or cannot resume interest or ability in trying to walk with a walker she will be headed to a nursing home environment most likely. Generally AL facilities need residents to be able to function physically to a degree. Perhaps you could have this discussion with her. Most people do not choose to be in nursing homes. I don't think you should be prejudiced against an AL facility. That could very well be the best for her but as I stated she is going to have to show that she can walk with a walker. I guess you may have to discuss with her what she feels she is capable of doing physically even if it happens in small steps. The important factor is if she can show any progress at all.
"Anesthesia, surgery linked to decline in memory and thinking"
Date: July 19, 2018
Source: Mayo Clinic
Summary:
In adults over 70, exposure to general anesthesia and surgery is associated with a subtle decline in memory and thinking skills, according to new research. The study analyzed nearly 2,000 people and found that exposure to anesthesia after age 70 was linked to long-term changes in brain function. The results appear in the British Journal of Anaesthesia.
https://www.sciencedaily.com/releases/2018/07/180719112024.htm
Before that incident, he was walking with just a cane, and doing well in general. After he had surgery to repair his hip (a replacement wasn't done; pins were inserted for repair instead), he was Sundowning something awful in the hospital and unable to walk. In rehab, he was making no progress at all, so they released him after 2 weeks. He could not go back to IL, and I had to scramble to find an Assisted Living facility that would take him, being that he was catheterized. They wanted to keep him in long term care, but what about my MOTHER?? They had been married for 68 years and I couldn't separate them; having her living in the apartment and him living in an ALF or in long term care.
So all hell broke loose. I managed to get both of them into an ALF, and had to get rid of all the stuff in their apartment, move dad into the ALF with a new bed, ugh........it just went on for months with me running back & forth maintaining TWO places. It also turned out that dad had a brain tumor which was contributing to his inability to walk.
He went completely downhill after the broken hip and was never able to recover, unfortunately. This happens quite often with the elderly, as you're seeing with your mom. I'm sorry for what you're both going through; it's all very difficult, I know.
Anyway, both of them did fine in the ALF, and actually enjoyed the socialization. Dad passed away (from a growing brain tumor) 10 months later and my mother is still in Assisted Living today, in their Memory Care division.
It's a lot to process for you, I know. A lot of paperwork, financial liquidation, mental and physical anguish, etc. But it must be done if your mom can no longer live independently. Once you are on the other side of this, you'll see that your mom will be doing much better in LTC, getting the help and the care that she needs.
I think there comes a point in time where an elderly person DOES give up, and rightly so. At nearly 93, I listen to my mother talk about how she wants to die, at least once a week, usually more often. I understand where she's coming from too, and that's what I tell her, even though I don't particularly like hearing that kind of talk. When life becomes too painful, the thought of fighting on becomes unbearable, I think. What's the point? I know that's what happened with my father. When the doctor told him the brain tumor had grown and was inoperable, he gave up. He wound up passing away 19 days later, believe it or not. He lived a good life, though, and was ready to go Home and see his parents and brothers & sisters once again.
Wishing you all the best during this difficult time of transition. Sending you a hug, too, and a prayer for peace & acceptance.
Do what is best for her, don't overthink this, it won't kill you to do the right thing for her. Be comfortable with your decision. She is 89, time to put everything into perspective, for her well being.
A very wise nurse said to me in the hospital where mom was having her broken hip repaired, "sometimes it's not that they fell and broke their hip; sometimes the break CAUSES the fall, or a stroke causes the fall.
Make sure that whoever is coordinating moms care KNOWS that this is NOT what mom was like before. If they think she has dementia, get a geriatric psychiatrist in to see her to rule out the other stuff (NPH, brain tumor, UTI).
Broken hips can be very difficult for the elderly to recover from. If something doesn't change soon, you will have no choice but to put her in LTC, unfortunately.
Hope she rallies. But if she does not, you will have to find a way to not be too heart broken about it. She's made it pretty well to 89, which a lot of people don't. Find something positive about that, if you can.