When my mother passed away 8 years ago I was asked to move from my home in NY to NC where my other three siblings live and where they had moved our parents to. The reason for this move was to be a companion to my father upon our mother's death as he was not handling it well. I am not working due to disabilities so they thought I would be the perfect one to care for him- long story short he had enphyzema and diabetes at the time but shortly after my moving here he developed dementia to where my duties involved much much more. Visits from my siblings were few and far between but now that my father has passed away as of Aug 27 they want to immediately come here to go through his things. When his home was sold in NY they each got stock from the proceeds but I received nothing. They said that the gov't would have gotten it but truth be told they have always treated me as beneath them because they have the college degrees, fancy homes, etc. At my father's funeral my brother and his wife didn't say two words to myself or my children. At the restaurant afterwards where we all went they sat at a separate table. Now I am being told that I don't live here though I have been living here for eight years now, that I am just " an inhabitant" here so they can come in even without knocking if they want as the home is in our father's name. My daughter was here with my three year old grandson as I had just left an hour previously to do something- they barged in and began to ransack my father's room bagging his belongings up. When my daughter tried to ask them to wait for me they screamed at her and my brother body slammed her to the floor. She called the police who said it was a civil matter. What exactly are some suggestions as to how I can proceed to peacefully have the time to gather and sell my things so I can move back home? I am aware that my sister in NY is executor of the estate yet she has lied to me saying that my brother is, and that he can kick me out if he chooses to.Do I follow ordinary tenant law in that I have 30-90 days to move? My sister who is the executor is the one who asked me 8 years ago to move here to care for my father- with all that has taken place do I have any legal right to bill them for staying and being the sole caregiver if there were no papers stating this situation?
You have a legal right to be in dad's home. You have whatever tenants' rights your state grants. You have the right to 30-days' notice to move.
Your story of your daughter being body slammed to the floor is ridiculous. There's not a law enforcement on planet earth who would have said, "Sorry, that's a civil matter."
If dad had a will, and you are mentioned in it, you have the right to "your share." Did he? Do you have a copy? Who is the Executor?
I'm pretty sure your family is alienated because they are not appreciative of your contribution to your dad's care. They may look at you as a freeloader . . . Or they may think you monetarily exploited your dad while you lived there. They may be right. They may be wrong. Unless they are psychopaths, there's got to be a reason.
If there is an estate to protect, you'd better get an atty pronto so that your interests are protected. And, unfortunately, begin looking for another place to live.
1. You wrote: " When his home was sold in NY they each got stock from the proceeds but I received nothing. They said that the gov't would have gotten it but truth be told they have always treated me as beneath them "
Something's missing here. Who was the personal representative (a/k/a executor or executrix) who sold the home, or was this while your father was living? If there was no will, WHO made the determination to convert the proceeds from the sale into stock? WHO made the determination to exclude you, if in fact you were an heir?
WHO said the "government would have gotten it", and are "they" referring to cash proceeds? Why would the government have taken the proceeds unless your father was on Medicaid, and was he?
And who is "they"? All the siblings?
2. How is the deed for your father's home titled? Specific wording, please.
3. Did your father have a will or trust? If either, who are the heirs/beneficiaries? You did state that your sister is executrix; is there a co-executrix/executor?
4. I find it very difficult to believe the police would advise that body slamming anyone to the floor is a civil matter. It's an assault; that's a criminal matter.
I assume you took your daughter to the hospital. What were the results? Were there any broken bones? If you haven't taken her, do so, ASAP. And explain the nature and process of the assault, using that term and provide information on the relatives who assaulted her.
I believe hospitals are mandated reporters for injuries to adults as well as children, so the hospital staff likely would call the police.
5. Sounds like you don't have a copy of the will or trust. Ask for one; you're entitled to a copy if you're a beneficiary or heir.
6. If you have any documentation that your sister asked you to assume the caergiving role, hang onto it because you'll need it for the attorney to review.
7. As to moving, I would start packing just to get out of the situation, but you still need an attorney.
8. I don't recall the specific wording but I know our trust has this, and I believe standard Wills do as well: a provision that assets of the estate are first to be used for payment of last expenses. Disposition to heirs is delayed until those last expenses are paid. Any confiscation of your father's assets could constitute a breach of the terms of his Will.
9. If you were living at the house for 8 years, and if you got your mail there after submitting changes of address, including to the state DMV or Secretary of State (as it is in Michigan), under the law of your state you might be considered a tenant with tenant's rights, but this is something an attorney should investigate.
It is not uncommon for an elders documents to exlude a child from inheritance of assets as they will very likely lose assistance they have been receiving and possible owe repayment to various programs. Is dad's need for your care well documented by medical professionals? That could be an issue for an attorney to consider related to payment for past care.
Between now & then, get a copy of the policy report, the tax assessor statements on any property owned by dad; copy all items that show any assets of the estate (like bank statements, insurance policies, investment info, etc).
You have to have an attorney to do anything in all this. If you are the only one living in the state where dad died & was a resident of, this is a big plus for you in the fight over control of the estate. Good luck & get on all this.