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How do you deal with an abusive mom with dementia that attacks hired caregiver in your own home. She's violent and aggressive. Doesn't want anyone in the house and wants sister to sit with her only 24/7.

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Get her to a geriatric psychiatrist for meds to address the agitation and aggression. Call here primary care doctor and tell her/him what is happening. The next time she becomes violent, call 911 and have her taken to the er for evaluation. Take your pick of those three ways to proceed.
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Look up "Baker Act" . A Baker Act is a means of providing individuals with emergency services and temporary detention for mental health evaluation and treatment when required, either on a voluntary or an involuntary basis. It is time for that.
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Video record a couple of the attacks/outbursts and take to the doctor. It's one thing if you report violence; it's another when the doctor has to watch the craziness. Might help with expediting medications to calm her down.
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Make sure you have her checked for Urinary Infections many times those outbursts can come from those infections that make it seem like dementia.Also make sure she is not dehydrated.
Good Luck some times outbursts can come from things we have not been seeing or recognizing.
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I agree with Sophie and with Scott. We do not have enough information to know if your mom has Alzheimer's disease. But if she does,only medication will ease her agitation and her fears.Usually the medications are the ones used for psychoses and indicate mom is having difficulty separating real life from fantasy.
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The doctor put my husband on Lorazapam .5 mg. 3 times a day for this reason. So far it's working. In July we had the police at our house 2 days in a row. I was advised to keep a journal for legal reasons. On the 3rd day the police took my husband to the ER under the Backer Act. I had to go to the court house first to get an Ex Parte order. After he was taken to the ER, I got a phone call and hour later from Social Services saying that they weren't equipped to take care of a dementia patient....so, after that the dr. put him on the anti anxiety meds 3 times a day even though he was a fall risk. It's kept him from being violent. He fell in November and suffered a hairline fracture on his leg. He was ordered 4 weeks of non baring weight on his leg. While in the hospital, they didn't give him the Lorazapam and instead gave him Haldol which is a very potent ant-psychotic. When he went into rehab, he got very violent after taken off of the Haldol. I went over to calm him down so that they could give him a shot to knock him out. No one knew that he had been on Haldol. Not even his doctor, as the hospital only uses staff doctors. When I explained the situation, they put him back on the Lorazapam and so far it's working again.
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some good suggestions here and to Aprilgal: my father was also put on Haldol, but most nursing homes will not take patients on that so they had to wean him off before he went into NH. my father has dementia and also did not want someone in the home but he never got violent with them. he did get very agitated and my mom would argue with him, which after much talking to her, I told her to stop cause she was not going to win. I wish CAREGIVERHELP7 good luck. If you can get your loved one evaluated that would be good.
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If she is violent she needs to be evaluated by a psychiatrist to find out what is causing this behavior. If all biological testing proves nothing is wrong, then medication can be given to soothe her. If you hire outside help and she harms them, she will be liable. Get her help in any event.
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This was the finally tipping point for us to move our LO into a rehab via a hospital stay then NH. Our LO was violent toward caregivers, whether it be us or those from outside the family, for some reason. It was particularly bad inside the family home, perhaps because LO felt that LO had leverage being a parent and still "needed to be in charge" inside of the family home. Violence and aggression may have become a means of achieving that goal while trying to control LO's world that was rocked by dementia as well as probably some other underlying conditions as well. Moving to a rehab/NH meant that those behaviors did continue, but were also documented by medical personnel and then treated by the home's psychiatrist.

UTIs definitely made it worse.

LO received Haldol in the hospital. Horrible drug but apparently commonly used. At this point where LO is now, if there becomes an out of control situation again, the nursing staff applies a transdermal dose of Ativan as a gel. LO also has medications given orally every day to assist calming.

As our LO actually explained the other night, sometimes there is memory and sometimes not. When the memory goes away, it must be terribly scary. It was one of those situations which led to the 911 call that had LO sent to the ER/hospital. LO was screaming "I don't know who I am! I don't know where I am!" but LO wouldn't believe us as we pointed to family pictures before we were thrown out of the house.
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It sounds to me like things are already dangerous, and your mom needs to be in a facility that's better equipped to handle violent patients. Don't let anyone else put their safety in jeopardy
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Has she been checked for a UTI? When my mother (now deceased at 104) would get them, she turned into a raving maniac, chasing her caregiver swinging at her with her cane, she bit my handy man when he tried to help. Ordinarily she was sweet and gentle and she died in her right mind (well mostly) The UTIs turn the most gentle soul into a monster. HAVE HER CHECKED IMMEDIATELY FOR URINARY TRACT INFECTION. It causes encephalitis (brain swelling) in the elderly.
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She needs to be seen by a psychiatrist, who will give her an RX med. Her behavior is not normal.
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All great answers. I don't have this problem with my parents, dad is 93 and very compliant, mom is in dem/alz facility. Although she did hit my dad a couple of times before she went to facility because he wouldn't take her to eat. She couldn't remember that he was rehabbing from heart surgery and couldn't drive PLUS she had just eaten! However, my sister became violent in hospital due to oxygen levels not being good. Blood was not getting to her brain. Unfortunately she passed away from complications but that was not like her at all. So many reasons......UTI, blood levels, dehydration, and just plain ol dementia. When their routines are not the same they get frustrated and that includes new people. We went through 3 caretakers before we found the right one that gelled with my MIL. She wasn't violent but she sure didn't "like" any of the ones we did so we kept trying. But I loved the idea of a security camera and showing it to a dr. Good Luck and God Bless.
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Wow. I got my mom into a nursing home as soon as I could, and they asked a hundred times "is your mom aggressive, is she good tempered" and I thank the Big Beard in the Sky that she was just a darling old thing with Lewy Body Dementia. And to this day they LOVE her. They see me come to visit and come swooping over to tell me how wonderful she is. I guess she, and I, are very very lucky, because some poor souls there, oh, it is so sad!!! I don't know what happens with aggressive hostile old folks, no place wants to take them. I don't think they can drug them into submission any more. If they are still at home, only thing to do is work with their doctors, or consult a gerontologist. Horrible thing, good luck!
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First, she has dementia. She is not doing it on purpose. She cannot help it. This disease robs them of who they are. I recommend you and the caregiver go through CARES training. It is sponsored by the Alzheimer's Association and it shows you how to defuse those situations and how to handle many more. The training is done online and is relatively inexpensive. alz./essentialz/. Second, the best way to go about filing for Medicaid is to go through your local Social Services department. It is not nearly as complicated as it sounds. I do these applications for seniors all the time where I work. She will have to show most recent bank statements, proof of income, and proof of any other resources she may have. She will also need a current picture ID and her social security number. I wish you good luck. It is hard to see someone you love go through these stages. I am a resident services coordinator at a low income, subsidized independent living apartment complex for people that are 62 and older. I have dealt with several residents over the years that have suffered from this disease.
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Please have her checked for uninary infections.These show signs almost identical to those that would make you feel likes its dementia.Love her why shes here I lost my mom to Urinary infection and the cipro she was given for it.
God Bless You and good luck
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