She has lost 22 lbs. She has Dementia, kidney failure, dehydration, some aspiration with foods. The nursing home said the only option is a feeding tube but she does not want it. How long will it take for her to body to shutdown. Will she suffer. What can I do. The doctor visits her there and runs tests weekly.
Does your mother sleep a lot? How many hours a day?
I am so sorry that you are facing this.
If your mom is refusing to eat or drink there's nothing you can do about it. I'm sorry to be so blunt. Many elderly people get to this point and it's always so difficult on the family. If it makes you feel better have some ice chips in a cup where she can reach it. She might want to moisten her mouth on occasion.
Be encouraging but try not to badger your mom into eating or drinking. She may be making a conscious decision not to eat or drink or she just may not feel hungry or thirsty. But the body knows what it's doing and she won't suffer.
Call hospice. Today if possible. They'll walk beside you down this path with your mom.
We also had Hospice care for Mom because of her lost weight she was down to 80 lbs and being that thin it becomes uncomfortable when lying in bed or being in a geri-recliner. The pain meds did help.