My Mom has not eaten any real or nutritional meals for 5 months.
The past 5 months she may have a little yogurt or ice cream or cream of wheat. But the last 2 months she has really only had hot chocolate or some ice tea.
Now she is getting pressure sores on her feet. They are being treated, but we know she will only continue to get more since she has not been getting any protein or proper nutrition.
Over the past month or so, one day she seems she is on her death bed, the next she is doing okay. Hospice nurse says she is holding on for some reason. She suggests we all meet next week along with the Hospice nurses and Chaplin and tell Mom it's okay to let go.
Has anyone done this? Do you think it is a good idea? She has declined so much physically. Any advice from those of you who have had the same situation will be appreciated.
With my dad, my mom and siblings sat around him and told him it was OK for him to go. He had suffered for several days. My siblings and I told him we would take care of mom and she would be OK, she also gave him permission to go. We all told him how much we loved him. He died within the hour.
Sometimes individuals hold on because they are concerned about the people they are leaving behind. By telling them you will be OK and giving them permission to pass on it can make a difference.
My mom, who lives with me, has signs and symptoms of Alzheimers/Dementia but won't get diagnosed. She has other health issues as well, and talks about death a lot. She thinks she has to stay with me so I won't be alone. I keep telling her that I know how to be alone, and if it's time for her to go, that it's okay. Same thing...I tell her I will always love and miss her, but I understand. Every night, when I tuck her into bed, we hug and say "I'll love you forever, wherever we are."
I have had to Do some hard stuff in life. I think this is the hardest.
Peace to you and your family. We have you in our hearts.
Godspeed.
I'm glad she is in God's Kingdom now, but I will miss her. I don't think her passing has totally hit me yet. I'm finalizing funeral arrangements, clearing out her items from the nursing home, etc.
We did continue to talk to her and tell her that we are all doing well, etc. and the last day or so I told her that she will get to see Daddy when she goes to heaven and that she can watch over us from heaven. Bless her and may she rest in peace, she fought long and hard.
I am living this right now and it is the most gut wrenching experience any human being will experience. In our family food was the circle to family gatherings .This refusal to eat and drink is not about starvation or dehydration it is about your Love one having some final control over their end of life process. I cry a lot because it pains me to witness this daily. I have been caring for my mom since her illness 10 years ago and also lost a sibling to lung cancer at that time also a caregiver to . My mom’s really recent decline 18 months ago resulted in my decision to retired after 34 yrs of nrsg. It doesn’t make this experience any easier because we are in the health field it only makes issues worse because of our knowledge base. I pray each day thanking God for another day with my mom and know that one is never prepared for the end of life . Continue to pray asking God to help you one day at a time.
It's the hardest thing ever, and remembering that day makes me cry all over again. I'm so sorry for the terrible pain you're going thru, dear friend. God bless you and give you strength.