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My mom is and always has been non compliant with me; 30 years of oversight now. I'm tired, my own memory is going, and Social Worker says I'll have to find a place, get her in, oversee her, do her Medicaid paperwork every year, etc.... We are planning to move to the state my hubby's been working in, so I thought SD would/could manage her. Having anxiety attack now (which is often the case when I try to deal with mom, especially lately; her memory's going FAST....) I looked up SD guardianship on the net, and just got a bunch of legalese - so confusing. Any ideas, anyone?

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I wish I could help. Someone will have advice for you. Hang in there.

Best wishes to and your family.
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Who told you that SD doesn't have State guardianship?

No one can force you to do anything for your mom unless you are her guardian.
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mally1 Feb 2020
Her SW told me; guess she doesn't know - that figures.
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South Dakota does have state guardianship. Did you visit this website https://dhs.sd.gov/guardianship/default.aspx ?
is your mom a resident of South Dakota? Because if not, I don’t think they will be eager to assume responsibility for her. Would it be possible to place her in a facility where she lives now? You can have the facility handle her Medicaid stuff.
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mally1 Feb 2020
Thank you! She/we DO live in SD, and she supposedly IS Medicaid qualified for LTC, too, though the SW wasn't sure at first if that's good for a NH, or just her current home care; later in the conversation she said it is (?). If they don't know, how are we supposed to? This is one reason I'm giving up; have played these silly games before, with Medicaid and SWs, and PA - aaargh! If she ever does get into a facility, how in the world will I manage her, not to mention her paperwork, ongoing? My memory is getting odd, too, and no one else seems to know what's going on.... Have seen this kind of stuff on AG a lot, and it scares me to death.... years and years of it?
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Social Workers can be very good at telling other people what to do when otherwise they might have to do something themselves. You don’t have to believe it all. Interestingly, they usually want to be ‘non-directive’ in a counseling situation.
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I thought the SW, PA, RN and mom could get her in and settled, then have the SD courts take over; SW disabused me of that notion right away...
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worriedinCali Feb 2020
It never happens like that. The courts don’t just take over.
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I don't think its all that cut and dry. The NH would have to go to court and the Judge assign a guardian.

The SW sounds worthless to me. Like said, they try to push as much as they can on the family.


I would first get her into a NH. Get her settled in. Then start making plans. You may want to consult with a lawyer. Explain u can no longer be involved in Moms care. Ask how u would go about having her become a Ward of the state.

Not sure if you want to do this...the best way to go may be no contact. Once she is placed, leave the state with no contact number or forwarding address. Then the NH is forced to have a State guardian set up. The Medicaid yearly paperwork is not that complicated. Its just reiterating that the person is still in the home and that their finances are such that they still fall under Medicaid criteria. If like my nephews, bank statements and proof of income is requested. If you set up the NH as payee for SS and any pension, they will have that info. Does Mom have money in the bank? Leave them that info.

In NJ I had 90 days, once I applied, to get all the paperwork needed to the caseworker and find a place for Mom. So don't wait. If Mom has been Okd by Medicaid for a NH, get her placed.

Not sure why u feel the RN would get involved. They have nothing to do with Medicaid and a placement of patient. And PA, is that a State? If so, I can't see how they could help place Mom in another state.

I know this is very overwhelming. You just want it over. But once she is safe in a NH, u can walk away. You don't have to see her again. The home will have to find a way to get decisions made for her. She will be safe, cared for and fed. And, a weight will be lifted. You know stress causes memory problems. No more dealing with Mom, no more stress. Deep breath.
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surprise Feb 2020
PA= Physician's Asst maybe since it's beside RN... What I think.
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