She doesn't seem to remember most of it, and has no need for a lot of it. She told me to give away most of the books, and has plenty of linens and household stuff for her tiny apt. No longer cooks, so no kitchen stuff. She's actually ready for a NH, has been for awhile, and we've been trying to put it off... think it's ok to give away the stuff she no longer needs? She doesn't want to go through it with us - confuses her immediately. Hubby is helping and he wants to give it away; I feel odd about it....
When I emptied my parents' house, I did swap out items that had memories for those items I had that had no memories. Right now on my computer desk is a small china candy dish my parent's had that I am using for paper clips... got rid of the candy can I was using. Swapped out a few of my lamps with those of my parents, etc.
Remember to keep some items to use to decorate Mom's nursing home space. I remember when my Dad moved to senior living, he wanted to take all of his books. Told him he would need to downsize those books. So out of 200 books, we had 199 to take to Dad's senior living, thank goodness all the bookcases fitted in his room. Turned out those books were Dad's cocoon, which gave him a sense of safety.
You might also feel better if you look on it as selecting out what needs to be kept for her, then *everything* else is redundant and goes. It puts the focus on positive choices to keep as opposed to cruel rejection of long-treasured possessions, if you see what I mean.
Over the years I've had to discard things that got ruined for one reason or another. I don't miss the things now.
OK for you to keep the things she can use and use your own discretion about other things. She doesn't need to do it piece by piece. Make sure you put away some small things that are easy to store, ask her for the story about where it came from, and keep it for family history in the future.
OK for you to keep the things she can use and use your own discretion about other things. She doesn't need to do it piece by piece. Make sure you put away some small things that are easy to store, ask her for the story about where it came from, and keep it for family history in the future. Perhaps you both could enjoy those conversations about things that are kept.