Mom's (80) house is filthy and animal hoarding. Any advice?
I desperately need advice on what to do. My siblings are not interested in helping. Mother lives alone, house is in a horrible state. She broke her ankle 5 years ago, lived with my brother out of state for 3 mos. I rehabbed her home, and now 5 years later things are back the same -inside 15 cats, animal excrement everywhere, maggots in kitchen, etc. Re Social Services - they came out 3 times, once she would not let them in, 2nd visit they provided a Home Aide - after 3 wks. they pulled the Aide based upon the house was too unsanitary for the aide to work in, the last time they said as long as she has running water, food (albeit it is spoiled) in fridge, and toilet, there is nothing they can do. Her Dr. says she is just old. After 8 mos. of paying a housekeeper, they have quit, every week, they had to spend most of the time picking up trash all over the floor, clean up cat excrement all over floor and in bathrooms. The final straw was housecleaner having to clean up Maggots in the Kitchen food areas for two weekly visits in a row. Mother will not cooperate in any attempt to keep anything clean. If it has a flat surface, she will feed canned cat food and let the cats defecate/urinate on it. So anyway, I am not trying to whine, but I don't see any other thing I can do for her - Mom says leave me alone- let me live how I want.
If none of the above is feasible, then she falls between the cracks and you are stuck waiting for something else genuinely bad to happen. It is not your fault.
a hospice administrator was telling me over the phone one day that she was in a home one time and saw a cockroach . OMG . stop the world in its tracks . entire city blocks have cockroach infestations , she ' d just lived a very sterile and sheltered life .
americas faux economic boom fell on its face . people will be living in all kinds of accomodations that ten years ago society would have been quick to denounce .
I think that you have tried and have done all that you can, unless you think that you can get her declared incompetent, by the courts.
I don't want to make your heart sink, but it sounds as if you've done all you can and will now have to do that horrible thing of waiting for a crisis and hoping it isn't a disaster. That, and wear rubber gloves when you visit.
By the way, I do agree with the view that people can live how they like. What I question is whether anyone really *likes* living like that, or just can't help it for one reason or another.