She has dementia, and although she is functioning at a high level, she was not eating properly, wasn't handling food properly and did not always think she was in her own home. She does not remember my sisters and I staying with her 24 hours a day, as we were fearful of leaving her alone.
Now she says all the problems that brought her to assisted living was just a misunderstanding and she hates the assisted living. She does't understand why she is there and wants 'another chance' to go home and live alone. Nothing we tell her about the doctors have said she needs to be there has changed her mind.
It is hard to visit her, as she appears so unhappy, crying, and just wanting to go home. The staff says she is very outgoing, spending time with other residents and participating in activities when we are not there.
We have been second guessing our decision to place her in assisted living. Physically she is very healthy, bathes on her own, makes her bed, walks without any assistance.
Just keep an eye on her and see how she's looking when you visit, but visit occasionally. You could also go unannounced to see if she is participating in activities and watch from afar if that's possible, to make sure the staff is telling you the truth. Good luck...
There are plenty of people on this site as testament, the best of intentions can lead to unforeseen results. There are caregivers that are comforted by the love and satisfaction of their undertaking and others that are broken or embittered. Unless you are physically, emotionally and financially positioned you are at risk to become the latter, then mom ends up in a less safe envirionment surrounded by negativity,,,,,what a crappy way to spend her final days for both of you.
This disease sucks, but you can not love someone back to happiness, you certainly cannot do so if in the meantime you make yourself miserable.,,,beware,
You never trust what the staff says.The staff will tell you what you want to hear.Do you really think the staff will tell you negative.If your Mother doesn't like it.Then she doesn't like it.Why the force in hopes she will like it if she doesn't.She's the one that has to live their not the staff and you.You say,(She has dementia, and although she is functioning at a high level, she was not eating properly)
If she's functioning at a high level maybe you acted to soon.But,the not eating properly is one of the first signs of dementia going south.Dementia works fast.
May well be the best thing you did was placing her in assisted living.Be lucky you found a assisted living that took her with dementia.
Give her another week in the assisted living.After that if she still is unhappy their.You may want to decide to follow her wishes.With her being unhappy may cause,her to become worse.