My parents are in their early 70s. They own a home but are in danger of losing it bc they haven't paid property taxes in a couple of years. They also have 18k debt. My mother nearly died this January and spent 2 months in the hospital and assisted living. She can barely walk and can't fully clean herself (for the past 5 years due to obesity). My dad has been able to care for her (somewhat) but he just had a mild stroke in August and still has quite a bit of weakness in his right arm. He loves the idea of buying a more affordable home. But the location he likes is an hour further from major hospitals and the airport. He wants a place in the country so he doesn't have an HOA or close neighbors (as he can't get along with them). Currently he can barely maintain the home they have and its falling apart and is not handicap safe.
Is it worth trying to help them buy a new home or even purchasing a home to rent to them? Who will care for the property? My husband is in the Army for at least another 10 years and we have 3 small kids (6 and under). So we can't move my parents near us as we are always moving also it is very difficult traveling to help them.
I feel like my mom has needed full assisted living for years (she only reads or watches tv all day) but my dad still has some abilities and dreams, he fishes on his small boat and does light gardening.
What are your thoughts???
They aren't going to suddenly "improve" with moving to the country so dad can putter...sounds like he can barely care for himself, much less your mom.
Your parents could move to an ALF that has separate apartments but onsite care if needed. Dad still drives? He can still get away to do the things he wants, then. It's not going to be ideal in dad's mind, but that's something he has to work out.
Do you need to help them with this next step? Can they make the decisions about moving and handle all that needs handling or do they need an advocate? It sounds like they aren't making good financial decisions at all.
Can you facilitate an assessment on them, from where you are? Give you a baseline to work with.
Good luck---and come back if you need more help. Depending on where they live, there might be people here who would know exactly whom to call upon.
But you're right to be concerned. Is there anything you can do in terms of finding advice and advocacy for them so that they can get their tax and debt situation under control? I'd start with whichever authority deals with their property taxes, call them to explain the situation and ask for help.
As for location... your poor dad wants to run away, do you think? Escape to the countryside, a rural idyll where all is peace and growth and birdsong. One can understand his longing. But with his stroke and your mother's care needs, moving further away from services and health care facilities is a bit of a non-starter, alas.
Is your father getting any help with your mother's care at all?