Mum had an appointment scheduled with a Geriatrician in early January to assess if there had been any changes in her early cognitive failure. On the day in question I was called by the doctor who advised mum had not turned up. I tried to get her on the phone all day, eventually speaking with her in the afternoon. She told me she deliberately stayed out all day to avoid him, believing the appointment was at her home. She said the Geriatrician makes her feel stupid. I expressed the importance of monitoring her wellbeing for her continued independence. She said she had changed her GP at the same surgery because she did not like his interference ect. What she doesn’t seem to realise is her medical records go to the new GP but I think she was looking for a more consultative relationship with her GP. In the course of the conversation, I referred to the POA and POMG I hold. Mum threatened to ‘cut me off’ if I exercised the powers she has conferred on me. I have consulted with the Geriatrician and family members and spoken with her new GP and agreed to take a step back to give mum space. Her GP recently conducted a mini-MOCA exam and mum scored 24 out of 30 so am relieved she has bounced back after the COVID lockdown, She has not contacted me since that call even this past week when we have had devastating bush fires only 2 suburbs away. I am recovering from depression and re-evaluating relationships, perspectives, attitudes etc, This includes family heirlooms which I was raised to believe were important but now realise are just stuff. Am starting to wonder if being ‘cut off’ is such a bad thing. How might you approach this? Do you think I should be the one to break the ice? Should I leave it to mum, knowing I will be informed if anything serious happens?
Step back from all things health related for awhile. Ask the doc to phone you with anything important. 24/30 on the test, shows a decline, definitely, but really isn't too bad, yet.
Does she live in an independent complex where she gets meals and activities? If so, there must be someone who keeps an eye on residents for any decline that would mean they safely can't live there anymore. If not, then u will just have to wait for something to happen. She will get worse. You then can place her inba safe place using her POA.
I always talk about how my Mom was easy. When she could no longer balance her ck book, write checks and later sign her name, she asked me to do it. When she came to live with me, she asked what was wrong with her. I told her she had Dementia. Not sure if she understood what that meant but she excepted it. She enjoyed her morning paper and was reading it when she said "there is article here that talks about what you told me I have" Sure enough there was an article on Dementia. My Moms decline was monthly. She came to live with me Nov of 2014 and passed away Sept of 2017.