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How are they managing their medications?
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Fall risks, spoiled food, or other threats to wellbeing
Are they experiencing any memory loss?
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Acknowledgment of Disclosures and Authorization
By proceeding, I agree that I understand the following disclosures:
I. How We Work in Washington. Based on your preferences, we provide you with information about one or more of our contracted senior living providers ("Participating Communities") and provide your Senior Living Care Information to Participating Communities. The Participating Communities may contact you directly regarding their services. APFM does not endorse or recommend any provider. It is your sole responsibility to select the appropriate care for yourself or your loved one. We work with both you and the Participating Communities in your search. We do not permit our Advisors to have an ownership interest in Participating Communities.
II. How We Are Paid. We do not charge you any fee – we are paid by the Participating Communities. Some Participating Communities pay us a percentage of the first month's standard rate for the rent and care services you select. We invoice these fees after the senior moves in.
III. When We Tour. APFM tours certain Participating Communities in Washington (typically more in metropolitan areas than in rural areas.) During the 12 month period prior to December 31, 2017, we toured 86.2% of Participating Communities with capacity for 20 or more residents.
IV. No Obligation or Commitment. You have no obligation to use or to continue to use our services. Because you pay no fee to us, you will never need to ask for a refund.
V. Complaints. Please contact our Family Feedback Line at (866) 584-7340 or ConsumerFeedback@aplaceformom.com to report any complaint. Consumers have many avenues to address a dispute with any referral service company, including the right to file a complaint with the Attorney General's office at: Consumer Protection Division, 800 5th Avenue, Ste. 2000, Seattle, 98104 or 800-551-4636.
VI. No Waiver of Your Rights. APFM does not (and may not) require or even ask consumers seeking senior housing or care services in Washington State to sign waivers of liability for losses of personal property or injury or to sign waivers of any rights established under law.I agree that: A.I authorize A Place For Mom ("APFM") to collect certain personal and contact detail information, as well as relevant health care information about me or from me about the senior family member or relative I am assisting ("Senior Living Care Information"). B.APFM may provide information to me electronically. My electronic signature on agreements and documents has the same effect as if I signed them in ink. C.APFM may send all communications to me electronically via e-mail or by access to an APFM web site. D.If I want a paper copy, I can print a copy of the Disclosures or download the Disclosures for my records. E.This E-Sign Acknowledgement and Authorization applies to these Disclosures and all future Disclosures related to APFM's services, unless I revoke my authorization. You may revoke this authorization in writing at any time (except where we have already disclosed information before receiving your revocation.) This authorization will expire after one year. F.You consent to APFM's reaching out to you using a phone system than can auto-dial numbers (we miss rotary phones, too!), but this consent is not required to use our service.
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Mostly Independent
Your loved one may not require home care or assisted living services at this time. However, continue to monitor their condition for changes and consider occasional in-home care services for help as needed.
Remember, this assessment is not a substitute for professional advice.
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Accept that this is the way your mother is and learn to not let it get to you? My father was the same way or maybe worse. His favorite book was "good pills, bad pills" so he would look up any prescription the doctor wrote and decide whether he would take it. Then there were the blood pressure meds where he got up each day and took his blood pressure then decided how much medication he would take that day - he liked his blood pressure a little high. And then there was the cycling through almost every doctor in a 30 mile radius...
My 85 year old mother does this, but then says she doesn't remember the doctor telling her not to do whatever it is the doctor is now telling her to do. There is nothing wrong with her cognitively. She has CHF. Dr. told her to ease up on the salt. No chips, processed foods, etc. because of the water retention associated with CHF. She's been told this multiple times but does it anyway. Dr. again told her (phone appointment on Wednesday this week) that she must watch her salt intake. She asked Dr. "I can't have "low salt" chips?" Dr. said NO! Read labels (been told this repeatedly). Repeat, repeat, repeat for just about three years now. So, my advice is just accept it. I previously lectured, asked, suggested, and now I just don't say anything. "I'm glad you talked to the doctor" or something similar. I don't disagree or agree. This is the way it is. I have limited energy and patience and have found this is the best way to handle it.
My daughter watched a woman die from CHF. The woman woke up complaining she couldn't breath. Instead of giving her the Lasik pill she told the woman she would get her a shot, works faster. When she came back, the woman held her hand out to her and died. Maybe Dr. should explain what happens when fluid gets into the lungs, you drowned.
You can't 'make' her do anything, as you already know, so try to let it all GO! If her refusal to follow doctor's orders shortens her remaining life, so be it; it's HER decision. You may want to tell her you won't be taking her to any more doctors (if that's what you're doing) until and unless she follows their orders. I'm lucky...my 92 y/o mother lives in assisted living and sees the doctor who visits there weekly. So when she chooses to ignore her doctor's advice, at least it hasn't put ME out or caused me too much grief. I am always around to clean up the various messes she gets herself into, but I know I can't prevent those messes from happening. It's all tough, isn't it? Best of luck!
TG my Husband's attitude with his Mom was let her do what she wants. If it kills her that is her choice. My SIL said that a doctor would not see my MIL anymore because she didn't follow his directions. She ended up willing herself to die at 91 because she could no longer live the way she wanted to.
There is nothing you can do. I would stop taking her to the doctors if she is not going to do what she is told. Its a waste of your time and the doctor's.
By proceeding, I agree that I understand the following disclosures:
I. How We Work in Washington.
Based on your preferences, we provide you with information about one or more of our contracted senior living providers ("Participating Communities") and provide your Senior Living Care Information to Participating Communities. The Participating Communities may contact you directly regarding their services.
APFM does not endorse or recommend any provider. It is your sole responsibility to select the appropriate care for yourself or your loved one. We work with both you and the Participating Communities in your search. We do not permit our Advisors to have an ownership interest in Participating Communities.
II. How We Are Paid.
We do not charge you any fee – we are paid by the Participating Communities. Some Participating Communities pay us a percentage of the first month's standard rate for the rent and care services you select. We invoice these fees after the senior moves in.
III. When We Tour.
APFM tours certain Participating Communities in Washington (typically more in metropolitan areas than in rural areas.) During the 12 month period prior to December 31, 2017, we toured 86.2% of Participating Communities with capacity for 20 or more residents.
IV. No Obligation or Commitment.
You have no obligation to use or to continue to use our services. Because you pay no fee to us, you will never need to ask for a refund.
V. Complaints.
Please contact our Family Feedback Line at (866) 584-7340 or ConsumerFeedback@aplaceformom.com to report any complaint. Consumers have many avenues to address a dispute with any referral service company, including the right to file a complaint with the Attorney General's office at: Consumer Protection Division, 800 5th Avenue, Ste. 2000, Seattle, 98104 or 800-551-4636.
VI. No Waiver of Your Rights.
APFM does not (and may not) require or even ask consumers seeking senior housing or care services in Washington State to sign waivers of liability for losses of personal property or injury or to sign waivers of any rights established under law.
I agree that:
A.
I authorize A Place For Mom ("APFM") to collect certain personal and contact detail information, as well as relevant health care information about me or from me about the senior family member or relative I am assisting ("Senior Living Care Information").
B.
APFM may provide information to me electronically. My electronic signature on agreements and documents has the same effect as if I signed them in ink.
C.
APFM may send all communications to me electronically via e-mail or by access to an APFM web site.
D.
If I want a paper copy, I can print a copy of the Disclosures or download the Disclosures for my records.
E.
This E-Sign Acknowledgement and Authorization applies to these Disclosures and all future Disclosures related to APFM's services, unless I revoke my authorization. You may revoke this authorization in writing at any time (except where we have already disclosed information before receiving your revocation.) This authorization will expire after one year.
F.
You consent to APFM's reaching out to you using a phone system than can auto-dial numbers (we miss rotary phones, too!), but this consent is not required to use our service.
Best of luck!
Such a great attitude.
There is nothing you can do. I would stop taking her to the doctors if she is not going to do what she is told. Its a waste of your time and the doctor's.