My brother was released from a nursing home on May 4 last year.
Physicians and others thought he was terminal cancer and wanted us to get hospice:
With good physicians, a lot of work and bunches of money, we have gotten him to a point that he cares for his hygiene pretty much and he ambulates well........but I cook, prepare and give medicines, take him to doctors and check his sugar/medicate with insulin etc.
My brother has decided that he is ready to return to a place of his own.
He has over $10,000 available on his debit card since he has few bills that he has had to pay.
How responsible am I for him since he is legally competent, but was so ill for most of this past year?
Must I let him leave since he wants to go (he tells other family members that he wants to get away from me.. no smoking or drinking at my house for one thing).
I am worried about my brother’s vulnerability with all that money in his chosen terrible neighborhood.
I know that he will not get or take his medicine and that he will soon die or decline into his previous unhealthy state that caused him to look so moribund to physicians, but I understand his desire for independence.
He has not been declared incompetent.
You can do noting but be there for him and support his decisions, you can guide him, you can give your opinion but that is about it.
You are also not responsible for bailing him out of his choices in the future.
I know that we do feel responsible for someone when we have nursed them back to health and we want them to continue to take care of themselves, but we can't make them and we can't tear ourselves apart over their bad choices. So love him and let him decide what he will do and you decide what you will do.