He was reported (rightfully so). He's a high consumer of alcohol and was also falling down, passing out and also knocking himself unconscious. So we brought him to my house a month ago, so he would be jailed or kill him self. Today he managed to take his electric wheel chair to get alcohol. (I was at work) It's been a month since he drank. In order to get to the store, he had to ride on the highway 30 min. When I got home he was sloppy drunk cursing me and my husband. He's been a mean miserable drunk his whole life. I found the Vodka he bought and tossed it. He's very upset.
I've had to rescue my parents my whole life. Mom just died 6mo ago with Alcohol related illness. I'm so tired. This story above is a speck of the events I've had to deal with.
He's a master at lying and hiding and has no respect, yet commands it when drunk. (I never disrespect him, though it's tempting)
Any advice?
Instead he should have been arrested and put in jail if necessary for his lewd actions, and if he were to kill himself, that would be on him, not you.
I'm not sure what it's going to take for you to say enough is enough. You deserve so much better, and until you realize that, you will continue to let your father use and abuse you.
I would recommend that you start attending Al-Anon meetings, as they are very helpful when it comes to helping family members of alcoholics. You need to make some changes in yourself, as you have allowed this nonsense for far too long. And in case you don't know this, you can never change your father, only yourself, so my prayer is that you will start making the necessary changes in your life to get some peace and joy back in it.
Please start making yourself a priority, and work on getting some help for yourself and quit worrying about your father. He's a grown man, and needs to once and for all suffer the consequences of his actions. That's the only way things will change. So get him out now!
If you act like a doormat, expect to be walked all over. Stop the enablement.
Perhaps this is what I should do. I'll start with an Al Anon group in my area. I can't say for certain why I've rescued my parents so often, it's likely because I've been doing it since a young child. I can go far back as 6 years old making my own dinner because they were to inebriated to do so. Worse lifting my mom's hair after she vomited. Standing between my mother and father so they didn't hurt ea other. So as you can see it's a learned behavior I can't seem to grow out of. I'm nearly 50 now! I did manage to carve out a different life for myself, I just keep getting sucked back in.
No one knows more than I do, as to how stupid or weak I've been to allow it but it's a strange power they've had over me. Perhaps Al Anon or Therapy can unravel it all.
Thank you for you advice.
FreeMeNow
You do need to get him out of your house. Call Adult protection services and see what they can do. If he gets violent call the police and tell them ur afraid for ur life.
Tell them that he is an at-risk adult and that you are unable and unwilling to be his caregiver and you will not accept him back into your home.
They will admit him into the hospital until and will place him in the right care facility.