A fter 5 years of me doing 24 hour care went to his VA Doctor and ask for help big mistake. So it took 6 months but got a company through them and within 4 months my husband has kicked me out took away my car and gave it to is hired caregiver has given her money every month and paid her rent this month my husband is a Veteran and we live on a fixed income this woman is totally doing the sweetheart scam and I can't do a thing about it I've reported it to her company the VA and because I'm just his wife I have no say who cares for him what.can I do please help
So the caregiver is doing the 24/7 care now?
I don't know what you can do. The VA and the healthcare company aren't going to get in the middle of this. Do you have a place to live? How long have you been married? Your husband just kicked you out and moved the caregiver in? I think there must be more to this story.
I am very sorry about the emotional upheaval this all entails, and the total lack of gratitude for your own caregiving. Seeing a lawyer won't address all that, but it is also important to not be victimized here.
Is your husband in his "right mind" at this time? Or has he started having dementia related to his MS?
It sounds like you have gone over and beyond taking care of your annoying ex military bratty spouse. Who needs an attitude adjustment. :-/ in my opinion?
What a jerk in my opinion.
Move out and make up for your lost lifestyle?
Good luck....
In the meantime, let the VA know what is going on... yes, you do have a say. The Caregiver is there to help *you* and your husband, not to be there to have you kicked out of the house and your car given to that person. By the way, who is on the registration, if it is only your name, your husband cannot give that car away without your permission. If your name and your husband's, then half the car is yours.
She has had many caregivers with the company
Help at Home. The workers are not allowed
To accept money or gifts, you should contact
The company BBB and report the company.
2. See if you can freeze his assests so he doesn't gift it all away to this woman.
Need to draw a line in the sand here.
Sadly it sounds like the marriage has been dead for a while but you hung on in there doing the right thing for your husband.
Does piss me off when a new 'young' thing ricks up without the encumerance of the barnacles acquired over time in a tough caregiver role (where you work 24/7, and can't close the door on it!)
Plus some people behave better for strangers than for their immediate family, so this woman hasn't seen the real side of your husband yet.
Take this as a gift and chance for your own happiness my love. But absolutely refuse to give anything back that was yours (ie your car!)
And name the carer association on here so folk know they allow their carers to behave in this way. They absolutely have a responsibility in this.
They are running a carer service not a dati g agency. Should vet their carers better.
Good luck! And find the silver lining... I think it is shining very brightly here!! FREEDOM!!!
Now? You're going to look pretty unsympathetic, frankly. Husband has MS. You don't. Just sayin' . . .
What would I do? I'd file for divorce.
Wifey has left the home. He needs a caretaker. There's a very uncomfortable bed been made here. Frankly, even if she went to the lady's job? What is the lady doing wrong? It's not breaking any laws to accept gifts from one's patients. In fact, I'd venture to say it's done often.
Her problem is with her husband. Not the care giver.
Could it be that hubby offered your car so that the Caregiver could run an errand and she took advantage of that offer? Did the Caregiver give a sob story about she can't make next month's rent and thought he was doing her a favor? Sounds like you took offense to what he did, I would have too, and there was a serious discussion that resulted in a major blowup. Words were said, he wanted you to leave because he couldn't.
When was the last time you spoke to your husband? Call when you know the Caregiver isn't there and ask if he is ok, and if he needs any help. Misunderstandings can take on a life of their own.
Further, it is absolutely against Federal contractor policies to accept gifts or services from clients. It is not ethical, either from a medical ethics point of view or Federal law. It is a violation of Dept of VA provider requirements as well.
Further, it is absolutely against Federal contractor policies to accept gifts or services from clients. It is not ethical, either from a medical ethics point of view or Federal law. It is a violation of Dept of VA provider requirements as well.
There is the Dept of Veterans Affairs Office of the Inspector General.
Courtesy of another Federal employee and veteran promoting honesty and ethics in Federal service