She is 88 years old with "mild" dementia. She has been living with my husband and I for 1 year, 8 months now. She has some degree of urine incontinence and sometimes stool. I do her laundry (and everything else) so I KNOW how bad she smells. She has a safe bathing environment, a grab bar in the shower and refused a shower chair. I am so very tired of the battles.
Her pre Alzheimers self would be horrified.
Mom recently went almost 4 weeks without bathing, said she would when she felt like it. It turned into a real stand your ground.
Mom likes taking walks in the afternoon with caregiver. We told her these walks would be restricted unless she agreed to bathe couple times a week. She requested visit to hair salon earlier this week, and was told I’ll take her as long as she understands must have bath or shower beforehand. In both situations she agreed.
In our case using bath as a trade off for something she really wants seems to be working.
I would be a rich person if I had a nickel for all the hours our family waited for her to "get ready" for just about anything. Her pre-Alzheimers life.
Another thing, some seniors become claustrophobic when in a shower. Especially if there are glass doors. I know for myself, I need to keep the far door open a couple of feet.
Then there is the fear of falling. If yourMom is using a moisturizing liquid soap and/or hair conditioners, it will make the floor of the tub/shower feel like an ice rink, even with a tub mat inside. I almost slipped the other day.
Towel drying isn't easy. I find myself hopping around trying to get one foot and leg dry, can be a challenge. So easy to get one's feet tangled up in the towel.
Then if Mom needs to blow dry her hair, that can be tiring on her arms.
Whew !!
A parent doesn't need to shower daily, twice a week or once a week is good enough, unless they are doing hard labor. If a parent is a Depends wearer, baby wipes work quite well between showers. I found a good product called "water wipes" which is in the baby section.
As to grab bars, I would put more than one. I have a horizontal bar along the longer side of the shower, and a vertical one above it. I plan to add grab bars at the outer edges of the shower, to hold onto when climbing over the tub. Most care facilities I've seen also have angled grab bars, so someone can hold onto them while either sitting down or pulling up from a shower chair.
Shannon, do you have a shower seat for her or does she have to stand? If so, that's a hazardous situation.
But I've written in the past and still advise that no rinse products are much safer and less traumatizing. They're in use as standard at rehab and high care facilities. When I was hospitalized for a stroke, I used them there as well, and sometimes at home if my back isn't up to standing for a shower.
They're carried in Walgreen's, but overpriced. You can either check at other drug stores, or at DMEs. They provide a nice, clean, fresh feeling.
Combine them with no rinse shampoo. Then you take the standing, cool environment, delicate balancing situation getting in and out entirely out of the picture.
One poster long ago advocated turning this from a horror situation for a parent into one of bonding. Put on her favorite music, let her select her clothing, do the no rinse bathing in a warm comfortable environment, don't do it all at one time unless she wants to, and make it more like a spa situation than a torturous one in a bathroom.
Her favorite music is important for relaxation during the process.
Afterward, have tea together, or just sit and chat, as a reward to her for endurance. Or do something else she enjoys.
The trick is to turn it from an unwanted, traumatic experience into a very pleasant one.
My father had leg ulcers so couldn’t get his leg wet - the mousse worked well for him too.
Apple cider vinegar is a good antibiotic for armpits if they don’t like sprays or rollerball.