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By proceeding, I agree that I understand the following disclosures:
I. How We Work in Washington. Based on your preferences, we provide you with information about one or more of our contracted senior living providers ("Participating Communities") and provide your Senior Living Care Information to Participating Communities. The Participating Communities may contact you directly regarding their services. APFM does not endorse or recommend any provider. It is your sole responsibility to select the appropriate care for yourself or your loved one. We work with both you and the Participating Communities in your search. We do not permit our Advisors to have an ownership interest in Participating Communities.
II. How We Are Paid. We do not charge you any fee – we are paid by the Participating Communities. Some Participating Communities pay us a percentage of the first month's standard rate for the rent and care services you select. We invoice these fees after the senior moves in.
III. When We Tour. APFM tours certain Participating Communities in Washington (typically more in metropolitan areas than in rural areas.) During the 12 month period prior to December 31, 2017, we toured 86.2% of Participating Communities with capacity for 20 or more residents.
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V. Complaints. Please contact our Family Feedback Line at (866) 584-7340 or ConsumerFeedback@aplaceformom.com to report any complaint. Consumers have many avenues to address a dispute with any referral service company, including the right to file a complaint with the Attorney General's office at: Consumer Protection Division, 800 5th Avenue, Ste. 2000, Seattle, 98104 or 800-551-4636.
VI. No Waiver of Your Rights. APFM does not (and may not) require or even ask consumers seeking senior housing or care services in Washington State to sign waivers of liability for losses of personal property or injury or to sign waivers of any rights established under law.I agree that: A.I authorize A Place For Mom ("APFM") to collect certain personal and contact detail information, as well as relevant health care information about me or from me about the senior family member or relative I am assisting ("Senior Living Care Information"). B.APFM may provide information to me electronically. My electronic signature on agreements and documents has the same effect as if I signed them in ink. C.APFM may send all communications to me electronically via e-mail or by access to an APFM web site. D.If I want a paper copy, I can print a copy of the Disclosures or download the Disclosures for my records. E.This E-Sign Acknowledgement and Authorization applies to these Disclosures and all future Disclosures related to APFM's services, unless I revoke my authorization. You may revoke this authorization in writing at any time (except where we have already disclosed information before receiving your revocation.) This authorization will expire after one year. F.You consent to APFM's reaching out to you using a phone system than can auto-dial numbers (we miss rotary phones, too!), but this consent is not required to use our service.
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That's one of the many things I resent that I have to put up with and my golden boy out-of-state brothers don't. My mother is always complaining about what is her ache du jour. Sometimes she says, 'Wait 'til YOU get old!"
(Why do these elders think we deserve to live through the aches and pains twice - or more - we have to hear about THEIR complaints day after day, and then at some point we will live through our own physical downfall as we age?)
My mother also likes to brag that her PCP said that, "I am healthier than people younger than I am!" The last time she started with this, I simply said, "Then you should quit complaining."
Well, what was she like when she was younger? I imagine if she wasn't always a "cup half empty" kind of person then she is feeling depressed about all the horrible indignities of old age. Aside from treating the root causes - pain, immobility, incontinence, failing vision and hearing, loneliness and mortality to name a few - she might benefit from an antidepressant.
My mom was angry toward the end of her life but she had never been an angry person throughout her life. She had a tendency for depression in her later years but she saw a therapist and took anti-depressant medication.
When she became angry it was like cwillie said. She was facing the horrible indignities of old age. But she not only became angry but she'd strike out at my father for no reason, like he was to blame. It was very uncharacteristic for her. And like you said, there was just so much anger. To this day I can't figure out where it came from.
Not all elderly people experience this but I think a fair amount do. I'm sorry your mom seems to be one of them. With my mom her anger was in part due to her health problems but I think there was some stuff going on with her that went way back, that I wasn't aware of. Things I never knew about. I figured that had to be the case because her anger was out of proportion to what she was going through in my opinion.
I think that by the time we are 90+ we have had a LOT of experiences to be angry about, and also a lifetime to be grateful for. Which one we embrace most strongly probably depends on our basic underlying personality and the state of our mental health. And I imagine it can vary from day to day.
My husband did not make it to 90. When he developed dementia at 76 he had periods of anger over it and a paranoia phase. But overall he made the most of what he had.
My mother would never have been described as an angry person, before or during her dementia journey. In fact, my sisters and I still laugh about how she would have to make an effort at it when she thought she should be mad. She died at age 96, and I'd describe her 2+ years in a nursing home as "content."
I wasn't close to other old relatives on a day-to-day basis, but none of them seemed to spend their old age angry much of the time.
So I have a hard time equating old age with disproportionate anger.
By proceeding, I agree that I understand the following disclosures:
I. How We Work in Washington.
Based on your preferences, we provide you with information about one or more of our contracted senior living providers ("Participating Communities") and provide your Senior Living Care Information to Participating Communities. The Participating Communities may contact you directly regarding their services.
APFM does not endorse or recommend any provider. It is your sole responsibility to select the appropriate care for yourself or your loved one. We work with both you and the Participating Communities in your search. We do not permit our Advisors to have an ownership interest in Participating Communities.
II. How We Are Paid.
We do not charge you any fee – we are paid by the Participating Communities. Some Participating Communities pay us a percentage of the first month's standard rate for the rent and care services you select. We invoice these fees after the senior moves in.
III. When We Tour.
APFM tours certain Participating Communities in Washington (typically more in metropolitan areas than in rural areas.) During the 12 month period prior to December 31, 2017, we toured 86.2% of Participating Communities with capacity for 20 or more residents.
IV. No Obligation or Commitment.
You have no obligation to use or to continue to use our services. Because you pay no fee to us, you will never need to ask for a refund.
V. Complaints.
Please contact our Family Feedback Line at (866) 584-7340 or ConsumerFeedback@aplaceformom.com to report any complaint. Consumers have many avenues to address a dispute with any referral service company, including the right to file a complaint with the Attorney General's office at: Consumer Protection Division, 800 5th Avenue, Ste. 2000, Seattle, 98104 or 800-551-4636.
VI. No Waiver of Your Rights.
APFM does not (and may not) require or even ask consumers seeking senior housing or care services in Washington State to sign waivers of liability for losses of personal property or injury or to sign waivers of any rights established under law.
I agree that:
A.
I authorize A Place For Mom ("APFM") to collect certain personal and contact detail information, as well as relevant health care information about me or from me about the senior family member or relative I am assisting ("Senior Living Care Information").
B.
APFM may provide information to me electronically. My electronic signature on agreements and documents has the same effect as if I signed them in ink.
C.
APFM may send all communications to me electronically via e-mail or by access to an APFM web site.
D.
If I want a paper copy, I can print a copy of the Disclosures or download the Disclosures for my records.
E.
This E-Sign Acknowledgement and Authorization applies to these Disclosures and all future Disclosures related to APFM's services, unless I revoke my authorization. You may revoke this authorization in writing at any time (except where we have already disclosed information before receiving your revocation.) This authorization will expire after one year.
F.
You consent to APFM's reaching out to you using a phone system than can auto-dial numbers (we miss rotary phones, too!), but this consent is not required to use our service.
(Why do these elders think we deserve to live through the aches and pains twice - or more - we have to hear about THEIR complaints day after day, and then at some point we will live through our own physical downfall as we age?)
My mother also likes to brag that her PCP said that, "I am healthier than people younger than I am!" The last time she started with this, I simply said, "Then you should quit complaining."
When she became angry it was like cwillie said. She was facing the horrible indignities of old age. But she not only became angry but she'd strike out at my father for no reason, like he was to blame. It was very uncharacteristic for her. And like you said, there was just so much anger. To this day I can't figure out where it came from.
Not all elderly people experience this but I think a fair amount do. I'm sorry your mom seems to be one of them. With my mom her anger was in part due to her health problems but I think there was some stuff going on with her that went way back, that I wasn't aware of. Things I never knew about. I figured that had to be the case because her anger was out of proportion to what she was going through in my opinion.
My husband did not make it to 90. When he developed dementia at 76 he had periods of anger over it and a paranoia phase. But overall he made the most of what he had.
My mother would never have been described as an angry person, before or during her dementia journey. In fact, my sisters and I still laugh about how she would have to make an effort at it when she thought she should be mad. She died at age 96, and I'd describe her 2+ years in a nursing home as "content."
I wasn't close to other old relatives on a day-to-day basis, but none of them seemed to spend their old age angry much of the time.
So I have a hard time equating old age with disproportionate anger.