I feel I should also be as an executor. My sister is very controlling & greedy. She has made remarks that she is the one who makes decisions on my mom's assets. She doesn't have a whole lot so there will be no need for probate. But I think it's unfair that I am left out. I don't know how to ask my mom to change this, it's her will. Please any suggestions greatly appreciated.
If there are no assets to probate, what are your concerns?? Are there family memorabilia that you would like to receive? If so, ask your Mom outright for the items. "Mom, I've always admired that knick knack or your baking dishes bring me such happy memories, when you aren't using them any longer, I would really treasure it. Many times the person will say, take it now!
I have to be honest, the role of executor isn't divided well amongst 3 sibs. I think it is crazy to name more than one person . . . then again, you have to know your family to make that decision.
You don't mention your parent's health or ages. Would that give us a different perspective?
This is just pride, isn't it? Your mother "chose" your brother and sister and left you out. That hurts.
But it *doesn't matter*. She didn't leave you out of anything that's even slightly important. Forget it.
Is there some object that you're anxious to keep, by the way? Are you imagining your sister snaffling all of the salt-glazed Staffordshire dogs or something, and want to get your bid in? If there are items of particular sentimental value to you, speak up now; but restrict yourself to the very, very few things that can really have that much meaning.
My experience may or may not help console you: My mom and dad listed me as their executor long ago, but after my mom died and my father developed dementia, three of my seven siblings, unbeknownst to me, took my dad to a bit of a shadowy attorney and had a trust and a new will created and named one sibling as both immediate trustee and future executor. All of this was a waste of my dad's pretty limited resources and resulted in me having to petition the court to become his guardian and conservator a couple of years after I moved him into my home (at my trustee sister's request before I knew about the trust) to enable me to ensure that he would continue to get the best care. Still, I don't know if anything done by any of us was "unfair" and maybe it's just the unfortunate way things are due to misunderstandings of the value of trusts in California vs. Utah and/or for simple estates. Adding to the misunderstandings was the lack of direct and honest communication among siblings, some of whom profess that my dad was competent to establish a trust, while I'm certain he was not (I had telephoned him almost every day after my mom died, visited him often, and brought him to my home several times).
As I said, life is complicated and unfair. Sometimes it's best to let go of some of the less important stuff -- I'm still trying.
My parent's Wills were older than dirt, but I used a therapeutic fib to get my parents to go to an "Elder Law Attorney" to update their Wills.... I told my Dad that his Will is too out of date and that the State would get half of his assets. Dad's ears perked up and he had me set up an appointment with the Attorney.
Depending on your State, if your Mom has a lot of assets, then the Will will go into Probate Court for the Judge to over see the Will.