My mom passed away this past Sunday. She had Uterine Cancer, kidney failure, blood clots. For the past 5 years, I took care of my mom. I helped pay the bills, cook the meals, take care of the house as she couldn't walk. I would even help her get up so she could go to the bathroom. I lived with my mom and am unemployed and have no Driver's License. Everything is in her name as far as checking accounts, bills etc. She fell in the house landing her in the Hospital. She was there and then went to Hospice where she passed away. Sorry for the rant, but is there anyway I can get some type of benefit or benefits for taking care of my mom? I'm afraid I'm going to lose my home. I'm trying to get a job but it takes time. I am really desperate. Can anybody help me or at least point me in the right direction?
When I have too much to do, I find it's helpful for me to just focus on 1 or 2 things and work on those only. I try to block everything else out so that I don't get sidetracked. Can you try that? Maybe it'll work for you.
Also, please come back regularly and update us of your progress. We're here to help and support.
But I do appreciate your response.
Like others have said, you need to go down to the courthouse with her death certificate. Responsibility for officially closing out her estate now falls in you. Get someone to drive you there if you haven't done this already. You'll need a few official copies of her death certificate and a list of every asset - checking account balance as of the date of her death, the value of the house and any other assets. The people at the courthouse should give you a booklet that tells you what to do. You can't just let it go and not do it as anything that you are entitled to will come from having that process completed.
In the meantime, you'll need to work on getting a job (maybe even 2!) and getting your driver's license. Make yourself a list of things that you need to get done so you don't forget anything. Apply for food stamps and welfare in the meantime. Good luck to you.
Goodwill also has job counseling.
I couldn’t ascertain what your employment was prior to all this, but it sounds like you had a career and put it in the back burner.
I would suggest applying for temporary positions in your field to get started. Visit employment websites like Indeed.com etc and register to be notified of positions in your area. That’s a great site.
Think about maybe renting a room to someone responsible for an income source.
You need to get busy for your mental health. You sound like a well educated person with a lot to offer, it’s just that getting back into the work force is hard - especially with an employment gap and yes, age discrimination (which totally exists these days). I really do think that the pendulum is changing as far as employers hiring older people as we have a good work ethic & are reliable.
Maybe consider classes at your local community college to get training in IT/Microsoft to add those skills to your resume.
It’s never too late, Mets82, and I believe you will be rewarded for caring for your mom for those years but you have to get out there and put some effort into it. It already sounds that you have made a start.
Apply everywhere - supermarkets are often hiring and have great benefits if you get set part time or full time hours.
Make a list of goals for yourself. Realize the benefits you already have (a home). Sell the home if it’s yours and either rent or buy a smaller place to live so the upkeep is not over your budget.
Don’t give up!
Go to your county website and employment site as many local businesses post positions or links to positions there for people who are on unemployment. Take advantage of county resources for career training - often these services are free as well if offered by local government.
You are still grieving the loss of your mother & that is hard. But your mom would want you to go on and live your life to it’s fullest as that would be her goal for you.
I believe things will get better for you, but you’ve got to believe it yourself.
Become a Uber driver of you have a vehicle.
Good luck!
Thinking of you. I hope things turn a corner soon. Hang in there. Please know we are all here.
It is like being cursed.
That desperate demeanor does not help, and if you become aware of it, you may be able to change it!
Sometimes, spending a bit (on a haircut) can do wonders, you will be standing up straight, smiling, and get the next job!
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You wrote;
"Everything was in my mom's name. I was paying the bills."
HOW did you do pay them? ATM card? Checks? Did you bring her into the bank to withdraw the money?
Does she have any money left in her account that you can live on until the government services and a new job kick in?
I would call all the utilities and other necessary services and explain the situation. They will be much more lenient if you give them a heads up as to why the bills may be late. Often, they can work out payment plans for you.
Good luck.