My Mom told me a nurse pushed her into the wall. When I asked the nurse who was attending the FaceTime call, he replied he didn't noticed. He then left the room and came back to say, the house MD was notified and the family member was notified. (I am not the health care proxy.) Most recently, she had a large bruise on her forehead. She told me she fell on her head while walking to the bathroom in the night. Other injuries include: an entire black and blue finger. In the past, there was an aide that told my mother she couldn't take my phone call. I could hear my mother swearing in the background. Fortunately, my mother took the phone call. I told her that family members wouldn't judge her. We also said a prayer. The aide yelled in the back, "Who is that?" The aide would not give me her name. Men frequently go into my mother's room. She gets afraid because she doesn't know what they are going to do. She tells me and I've seen it for myself that one of the men actually sleeps in her room. When I told this aide and a nurse on the unit that my mother is afraid of men going into her room, I was told by the both of them that it was not my mother's room but everyone's room. My mother yells for the man to get out of her room. She has dementia and is suffering enough. Why is this nursing home allowing her to suffer more? Does anyone recommend reporting all these happenings to the Department of Public Health?
The only way you will get this to happen is if you petition for Guardianship and undoubtedly you will have to prove that your sister is not doing a good job as POA and that the facility that mom is currently living in is not caring for her properly or in a safe manner.
I can tell you right now that IF you can find a lawyer that will take this on you will destroy any possibility of resolving issues between you and any siblings you have.
That aside caring for someone with dementia is NOT easy. It is NOT something you can do alone. It will cost you more than money it will cost you friendships, your health, your independence just to name a few.
Few people have a house that is set up to safely care for someone with dementia as they decline. Your house will look more like the annex of a medical supply house in a matter of weeks.
But falls will happen both in a facility and in your home.
Rooms are not locked in a facility so yes residents may wander in. It should be monitored by the staff so that the wandering resident can be redirected but that is not always possible.
If you are going to report to the health department it is generally the State Health Department that licenses facilities.
Medicare does have a website that has reviews of facilities you can check and see what the site says about the facility where your mom is.
by the way if it is mom telling you that men come into her room, that men sleep in her room keep in mind your mom has dementia and her reality is not always going to be based on fact.
Bruising can happen very easily in older people and a simple bump can cause a nasty looking bruise. These are not always caused by any great trauma it can be as simple as bumping your hand against the dining room table.
If you tend to get upset when talking to mom she can sense that, try to keep calm, it will keep her calm.
Just remember 1. Dementia is a beast, 2. Falls happen.
By all means keep tabs, check up on the home & case staff. Abuse can happen!
But also, sadly what can happen is people lose their place. So 'men in my room' can actually be a mixed group in the day room 😕.
I say this with kindness: sometimes when we re too close our emotions cloud us.
So try your best 'just the facts Ma'am' approach & really observe when you next call or visit. What's really going on?
it’s possible she really was pushed into a wall.
there are different degrees of dementia. she might be very aware/correct about some things.
An aide cannot keep a resident from taking a call. Actually, no staff member can. Mom is a resident paying to live there. As such its her home and she has certain rights. Her POA needs to be her advocate. You need to talk to the POA about your concerns. If you feel you can care for Mom 24/7 with no time to yourself then do it. Be aware though, that she will worsen. You will have to do everything for her, that means clean ups.
https://www.agingcare.com/questions/help-please-my-mother-fell-at-her-nursing-home-prior-to-the-fall-i-had-plans-to-travel-470043.htm?orderby=recent
Hugs 🤗
I am horrified that you need crowd sourcing permission to respond to what could be an abusive situation. WTH?