I visit them outside with a mask on 10 feet away, bring food & wipe it down. I stay outside because I live with my husband & don’t want to risk anything. Is this okay? My niece posted on Facebook how terrible it is that we go there & my brother said same thing. But they can’t be on their own.
Thank you,
Susan
Personally, I think we ought to refrain from judging others in this situation. It’s a very very personal decision to make when it comes to completely isolating yourself from your elderly parents or not. If your sister hasn’t been anywhere in the last 2 weeks, I say she’s fine going over to your parents house. Same with you, your are staying 10 feet away, wearing a mask, and disinfecting the food. You’re fine.
Pay the Facebook warriors no mind. Everyone has something to say these days. Everyone wants to lecture and be a hero & demand everyone stay inside the house while those same people are still leaving the house regularly. Again I say....pay them no mind and keep doing what your are doing!
In my case, I care for my grandson 2-3 nights a week. The alternative is he goes into full time foster care with strangers. So I drive 40 minutes to pick him up and back to take him home a few days later. Is it proper distancing? No. Was it approved by the Social Workers, yes.
Either my son, who lives with me or I take dinner to my Mum 3-4 days a week. She is physically and mentally capable, but is going stir crazy. She has been a widow for 18 months and is incredibly social. If she has no contact she will lose her mind.
She has her dog to walk and often walks with her neighbour. Her neighbour has just been diagnosed with Liver Cancer. She is single and needs as much support as she can get. I cannot tell my Mum to avoid her neighbour who has no one else to rely upon. No family or kids.
I am on another message board for stitchers and when quarantining first started, oh my, you should have heard some of these holier than thou women vilifying anyone who left their house for any reason! To hear them say it, you might as well put a gun to your oved one's head and pull the trigger should you leave your house! When I pointed out that being able to stay in your home with no responsibilities on the outside was a LUXURY for some of us, they argued.
Then I asked how many of them were caretaking for someone not living in a LTC or NH, and you know how many of them were? In round numbers - 0. Big shock. So I reminded them that some of us don't have much of a choice. They seemed to shut up about it after that.
You are the ones doing the heavy lifting, and you can only do the best you can. Seems like you're taking every precaution that you possibly can under the circumstances, and I am sure your parents appreciate it even if your brother and niece (and I am assuming it's his daughter?) can't seem to see it. And you know what? You don't owe him any sort of explanation, especially since it doesn't seem that he's willing to pick up his share of the caretaking.
But do call your brother and ask him what his plan is for your parents' care if your sister becomes ill. Because clearly he knows the answer.