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My mother's dementia is progressing quickly. My father has done his best to try and be her care giver but it has reached a point that this is starting to cause major health issues for him. We have been trying to find a memory home or nursing home for her to move into but all have a year or more wait list. I don't think my father's health will hold out that long. We need to find a home that takes Medicare as our family can't afford to pay for the home out of pocket. Any info or advise would be greatly appreciated.

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Long term care facilities do not take medicare. If there is no money available you should immediately start the process to apply for medicaid which is a program that pays for long term care for those who are indigent.

As for a facility with wait lists...the best thing to do is to take mom to the hospital after the next incident (maybe a UTI, a fall, a violent outburst etc). Then you speak to the hospital social worker and tell them that she can no longer be cared for at home. The social worker will find a facility that will accept mom, as hospital patients with social workers are given priority placement. If you haven't been accepted by Medicare when mom is moved to a facility, the facility will accept he rmedicaid pending meaning they will be paid retroactively when the medicaid application is approved.

Angel
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Discussed this reply with my family. Last time my mother was in the hospital they offered to have a social worker speak with my father. He declined. I'm not sure what his fear/resistance is based on. Can anyone comment on experience working with social workers in this context? I'm guessing he associates social workers with something negative, getting in trouble, etc.
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Social worker is there to help find a placement. Patients being discharged from a hospital have priority over those on waitlists.

If her discharge was in the last 30 days, you might be able to go back to the discharge folks at the hospital for placement.

Next time mom is in the hospital, YOU make contact with discharge planning the minute she's admitted and have them start looking for a placement. Get familiar with the NH s and Memory Care facilities in your area so that you can narrow the list quickly.
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You need to talk seriously and soon to your father, because he cannot wait for her next hospitalisation in order to start discussions about rehab going straight into residential care. If he is developing health problems himself, ask him who would be the Rescue Back Up if his health were to fail. Make him face the problem as affecting not just himself but also other family members.
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My father is actively trying to get her into a nursing home. He understands the urgency. I just feel the social worker is the piece of the puzzle that will help get us around the year long wait list. Since he missed the change to work with the social worker last time she was in the hospital is there a way to get help from one now?
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