A couple of weeks ago my dad fell for the second time in his apartment at a senior housing complex. Dad has dementia, exhibited primarily as short term memory loss and confusion or disorientation late in the day or upon waking. The family encouraged dad to consider AL after he was hospitalized to make sure all was well post fall. I am the primary caregiver, and his oldest daughter. He left the hospital to go to rehab to strengthen his legs and core, but became very distressed in rehab. He wanted out! I was looking at two different places, one a Brookdale residence with AL and memory care, and another associated with Independence Village with both as well. I was leaning towards Brookdale, and upon being invited to take a (masked) peek at the rooms available and videotape them, went over to visit. After seeing the rooms, I was asked if I wanted to get things going by starting the paperwork. It hadn’t been part of the plan, but I agreed because I felt dad was distressed and may have need to move quickly. I signed “for” him, completing paperwork that put the entire transaction in my name, even though I am not his POA. I’m only his medical POA. The manager there claimed it was fine. I didn’t have a check or card on me to pay at the time, and she wasn’t happy with that, but said I hoped to finish the deal on Monday of the next week (the day of the signing was a Friday). Over the weekend, dad settled in at the rehab center and was less distressed. He expressed the desire to have a choice about where he wanted to go, so the family backpedaled a bit and helped him look over the two places. Meanwhile, upon sharing this with the manager of Brookdale, she said that I had signed an agreement and would have to pay for the first month. I told her well, you can take that approach if you want to, but it certainly isn’t a great way to start our relationship! (btw - The agreements are monthly at these places). I then called the sales rep who had worked with me for several months from the same place. He contacted her, and they called back together and we had a group call. On the group call they told me that they would not pursue payment, and when I ask them, “what if we decide to go with independence how will you respond to that?” They said they would be disappointed but they wouldn’t pursue payment. Of course, dad chose independence, and two weeks later I received a bill for over two grand from Brookdale! What I want to know is, can they force me to make payment? Especially when my dad still is able to make his own decisions, and I’m not his power of attorney? I called the sales rep again, and he said to disregard the “big” bill of over $2000, it probably wouldn’t be that much, more like $100. Feeling like I’m being jerked around and manipulated because I signed papers. Just wondering if I have any chance of fighting this or what would happen if I refuse to pay?
”Signing papers” where I am, is pretty serious stuff, and if you can get out of the situation with a payment of $100, I’d take the deal and be content with it.
But there’s also this- nearly EVERYONE who enters assisted living/memory care will say he or she doesn’t want to be there, and often say they want to go “home” without a clear sense of what specific place that is. So IF your dad says another place is his choice, be prepared if he says after choosing it, that he doesn’t want to be there.
Dementia can be tricky to identify sometimes. Have him tested, then go from there.
In future you MUST be careful in NEVER signing ANYTHING for your father. NOTHING. You have no power of attorney; this could be the result. Their hlding you responsible might not work in court, but meanwhile they could ruin your credit.
Time to make a folder and diary with names and dates. Time to forget the phone calls and communicate in writing.
While Dad is capable of doing a financial POA this may the time to do that. Review online what you can do as POA. The Brookdale facility should have had in hand your POA before they let you sign anything.
You might consider an hour of an elder law attorney for advice that's solid; at least it will be 350.00 to 450.00 instead of 1,000 to 3,000. You might also try to tell Brookdale that this is going to give them a whole lot of bad publicity if they keep it up. So sorry for all this grief, but the lesson is learned; sign nothing unless you are legally certain of your footing.
One more thing is, were you signing for having the room HELD for Dad? If so, how long until you said you didn't WANT that room? Because if it was some time, and you chose another place, you may actually understand that they have a point in wanting some payment for a room that others weren't able to access while it was being "held".
I did the above for my Dad in case he didn't like the senior living facility he was in. I wanted to have a backup plan. The facility would call me saying there is a room available and I could say Dad wasn't ready, and his name could drop to the next slot on the list.
And another theoretical issue is the exact wording of the medical POA, whether it authorizes you to sign for care in a facility, or whether it addresses medical other than rehab.
And yet another is whether or not there's a clause in the contract which specifically addresses your father's PHYSICAL presence in the facility. If I understand correctly, he never actually spend any time there, so he didn't actually receive any services.
There may be case law on this, but someone would have to read the agreement and get more information in order to make this analysis.
Another issue is how you signed, with just your name, or your name as your father's daughter. W/o a DPOA, I understand you couldn't include that designation.
My issue with this aspect is whether or not YOU had and would have the finances to pay for the care. If you signed only as yourself, the inference would be that YOU would be paying. If there's no money for that, there's potentially an issue of fraudulent misrepresentation, but that's very theoretical.
Reread the documents and see if there are any cancellation clauses, especially if no services have yet been provided. I think that's a stronger point: the situation changed, their services aren't needed, although I would NOT raise the issue again of the other facility.
What would I do (besides mentally kicking myself?), I'd fudge a little and say that your father more than likely (or will be) coming home, or just going to limited rehab, and the long term issue is tabled for now. Butter them up, leave on a good standing, but do wait to see if the second bill is for $100, and for what, exactly, since services weren't provided?
I do think that you were pressured, and probably taken advantage of. What I eventually did for subsequent rehab stays was ask to take all the documents home to review them, then return them signed or with questions.
You could also add (very sweetly) that you're impressed with their facility, but since your father's care plans have changed, you'll be taking him back home, for NOW.
It wouldn't surprise me if the administrator is subject to a quota, probably having lost some people b/c of the pandemic, and really wanted to sign up a newbie.
You've gotten other good responses. Evaluate them all, think it over, and perhaps run it by the family if you're comfortable with that. But don't do anything until you're really satisfied that you're making the best decision.
I think we're all under pressure and stress when we sign documents. I certainly was the first time I signed for either of my parents. Life and experience are difficult teachers.
I would turn this over to the person that has Financial POA maybe they can force the issue that you had no legal right to make this decision and any signature would not be valid.
This is just a wild guess on my part. I sure hope you get a better answer.
If there is not a POA for finance, then try and get one now. There will come a time when it will be what Dad needs not what he wants. I think an AL is what he needs. 24/7 care. Even in early stages they lose their ability to reason. Get self-centered and can show no empathy or appreciation. They are like small children.
Remember, only a POA or guardian should represent Dad. When signing anything as a POA your Dads representative, you cannot be held accountable for his debts. You always sign your name with POA after it.