The nursing home will no longer put my mother on the toilet they say she's incontinent. She can not stand or go herself. They have to use a lift to get her in and out of bed or on the toilet but since they've said she's incontinent they will not use the lift to get her on the toilet. When she is put on the toilet she does go but since she's not offered to go what choice does she have but to go in her depends. We've had many discussions with the nurse trying to get them to at least get her on the toilet first thing in the morning and before they put her in bed they refused saying she's incontinent. I would think it would be easier to get her on the toilet than to have to clean up the major mess when she goes.
It was the same with my mother, but we understood why eventually they used Depends. At first, when she asked to go, they would take her to the bathroom because she could not walk on her own and would fall every times she stood up. But, sometimes she couldn't hold it until someone was available . It was an ordeal - and it took a strong person to lift her out of the chair and onto the toilet and vice versa. It was also a fall hazard and she was very fragile and weighed about 75 pounds, working in the small space maneuvering someone who was weak and tried to do it on her own. Mom fell in the bathroom even though someone was there with her and broke bones. From then on, she had Depends.
Since I think you are right that toileting your mom would be easier for the staff (if it worked) than cleaning her up, I suspect they are not doing this for their own convenience, but because that is, in their judgment, in your mother's best interest in the current state of her health.
What do you think their motives might be, if they are not in your mother's interests?
But for someone who is totally incontinent, is there any point to seating them on the toilet at certain times of the day? What purpose would that serve?
As the two required assistants were using the lift machine to transfer my mother to the toilet, they chatted a bit about the "olden days." I commented that there was really not enough room to adequately get that machine around. (The building is 50 years old.) Yes, back when the nursing home was built if the resident could not be helped up by hand (generally by one person, but even with two) then they were simply bed-bound. Even if they were not incontinent they would be brought bedpans and helped to the toilet.
Technology and nursing home attitudes have come a long way. But there are still limitations we haven't figured a way around. I would think that total incontinence is one of them.
My cousin has severe dementia and is double incontinent. She has no idea when she's urinating or defecating, however, the Memory Care staff still put her on the toilet at certain times of the day, just to see if she will go. She is in a wheelchair, but can transfer to the toilet with assistance. But, even doing that is scary. She gets very scared of getting on an exam table, stepping on scales, getting into car, etc. She seems to feel like she's falling and gets scared, says she's scared, and sometimes cries during these transfers. I can't imagine how she would respond to a lift. I don't think she could handle it and I wouldn't want to put her through that. And as far as her dignity goes. She doesn't seem to have any problem with being changed by the staff. They chat with her and it's perfectly normal.
Have you observed how she responds to the lift?
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