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My tiny, sweet, humble mother has advance dementia and has started to have a BM in her bed at AL before the caregivers get her up. Then she proceeds to pull off her depends and make a real mess with the contents. UGH.. they want me to buy full bed sized disposable pads - which are hard to find and cost $4.00 a piece! I know she’s making a lot of extra work for them, but there has to be a less expensive solution. I bought 2 more of the washable ones, but they want to be able to just throw the mess out.

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I got a "onesie" for my Husband and it worked.
You can find them on line or check stores for "body suits" that might work just as well.
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It’s best to discard feces ASAP especially in an AL setting. If that’s what it takes for the staff to take care of the mess efficiently, they need the tools to do that. They may be expensive but in the long run it’s better for everyone.
Maybe there is a more reasonably priced source (Amazon, Walmart) for you to purchase and provide to them?
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You are fortunate they are not wanting to evict your mom from the ALF for this situation! You can purchase wonderful disposable pads called Extrasorbs on Amazon which will probably do the trick. You don't want ANYONE laundering washable pads covered in feces!!!

https://www.amazon.com/Medline-Extrasorbs-Drypad-Underpads-Permeable/dp/B07GYZNDY8/ref=sr_1_6?crid=2ZB7BY4JJKZ70&keywords=extrasorbs+es+350+medline&qid=1565651857&s=gateway&sprefix=extrasorbs+%2Caps%2C385&sr=8-6

Best of luck!
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needtowashhair Aug 2019
I launder poop stained shorts and underpads all the time. Why wouldn't I? Cloth diapers have been washed and reused for hundreds of years. People fear the poop. They think it's toxic waste. Really, if the person emitting the poop doesn't have some contagious disease, there's not much to fear. In fact, one of the recent breakthroughs in modern medicine is the fecal transplant. It's exactly what it sounds like. They take the poop from a healthy person and put it into the guts of a sick person. Your intestines play a large role in your immune system. Many diseases that have no effective treatment can be treated with a fecal transplant. Respect poop, don't fear it.
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Hi Gail. I agree with the onesies that Grandma suggested. The staff would still get rid of mess just as quickly but this sounds like it would be easier for them because your Mom isn’t a bigger mess from getting into the depends. I would ask them to please give this a try. Best of luck.
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Why not just get half size, 30x36", disposable pads and tape two together? Now you have one full size one. Half size ones cost about 30-40 cents each.

Grandma does the same thing. I've thought about a onesie but they look like it would be a chore to check and change a diaper. So I thought of a different solution. I have grandma wear shorts or sweat pants with a drawstring. I have her wear a blouse with buttons. Then I tie the drawstring through one of the button holes. It doesn't stop the diaper removal 100% of the time, sometimes she unties it. But it works about 80% of the time. It still easy for me to check and change a diaper and if she overflows the diaper, it's just a pair a shorts or pants I have to change out and not an entire jumpsuit.
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Try putting mittens on her that way she can't get to the brief
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Mittens are considered a restraint her in Nevada. And as such require a renewed perscription from the doctor on a daily basis.

Why not wash poop covered washable pads??? If the facility has a competent laundry system they will come out as good as new. I washed Luz's two or three times a day, whether it was poop or pee. You just rinse the deposit out into the tub or toilet and then wash just like you would a cloth diaper.

Another thought, maybe you could check if there is a laundry/diaper service in the area that could be used for washing the washable pads.

We used all three sizes because they were needed. 3X5, 3X3, 1.5X1.5
And they saved our furniture.
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#1 That price sounds very high to me. Where are you looking?
#2 When did this problem arise, how many times has it happened?
#3 What are they doing about adjusting your mother's routine to avoid her needing a BM at this time?

I'd agree with them that disposables, which can just be gathered up and incinerated, are the best way of dealing with the mess; but I'm not impressed that this is their only idea of what to do to address the problem.

The reason your mother is removing her Depends is that she is aware of having had a bowel movement and naturally attempts to clear up; only of course she can't. But it is not acceptable for this to be happening to her.

They can, for example:

review her routine, and encourage her to empty her bowel before bed time
check for possible causes of a change in bowel habit - you mention she's had a uti, is there a recent antibiotic prescription or anything like that?
go in to her earlier

It *is* extra work, whichever way you look at it, but it's their job to keep her clean, comfortable - and not distressed by finding herself soiled, and then left alone for long enough for it to become a smelly disaster, poor love.

To be fair, they may already be working on the other approaches but it's worth asking the question. Meanwhile, I hope it will be possible to track down some cheaper suppliers - are they recommending a particular brand and specification?
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We have been dealing with it for years. No depends. It is more messy, and allows the poop to squish into crevices, difficult to clean and invites UTI.
Ripping off depends is messy, pulling down depends is messy.

Christy has a 4x4 washable pad under her sheet. We place a 3x3 disposable with a cotton cover on that it below her waist. No polyester. It is an skin irritant, holds body heat, moisture and bacteria and also invites UTI. Polyester will melt to the skin in a fire.

We made the small cover sheets by cutting up king sheets. Disposables are not good for the environment. Septic systems are designed to process poop.
We simply roll Christy a little bit to the bed edge, away from the poop and stand her, remove the pad and sheet. We do not have to wash the big sheet.

Just like old-fashioned diaper changing, we roll the poop off the sheet into the toilet. If it is gooey, we dunk it, or spray it. Her shower is close to the toilet.
Poop and smell goes down the drain instead of lingering in the garbage.

We toss the sheet and pad in the washer.
bed pads absorb water and really tax the dryer.
We have a length of PVC pipe suspended out side, near the back door, and drape the bedding over it to dry.

We do the same for her sitting, a small pad and cover. No depends,
Just a few moments ago, she had an accident on the couch, and it was easy to stand her, fold up the cloths and carry the poop to the toilet.

Usually there are two caregivers.
If I am alone, I fold the cloths until I after clean her.
We can imaging what it would be like to poop in a diaper. Yuck!
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I would ask that they toilet her sometime in the early morning, maybe 1 or 2 hours earlier would avoid this situation.

If she has recently been on antibiotics she probably needs some probiotics to balance her gut health out. Antibiotics kill all bacteria and it takes months for the friendly bacteria to rebuild without help.
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my2cents Aug 2019
Isn't it sad that the family has to suggest these things to a facility about antibiotics?? Just like UTI infections that cause confusion and mind changing behavior. Those folks see it every day and should recognize an issue (and run tests, treat for it, etc) before a family member has to step in. I always think about those folks who have no family or visitors - I guess they just gradually go downhill, lay in crap, etc until they awake on the other side.
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Would you be able to use the pee pads that they use to potty train puppies? They're almost 2 ft x 2 ft. You could use some sort of elastic to hold them in place (like the kinds that are used to keep kids mittens on their coats). The pee pads run about 40 - 50 cents each.
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1st issue - Why do you have to buy them the disposable pads? Why do they need to be full bed sized?
2nd issue -The caregivers should be checking on her hourly through the night and be prepared to change her if she does soil herself. Is that not being done?

Arlene Hutcheon
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my2cents Aug 2019
You're right. Clearly, checking on her more frequently is not being done or they could have resolved some of the problem themselves.
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I would have looked online at some of the medical supply stores. My mom used those toward the end and I don’t know what they cost but they were about 3’by3’.
Why aren’t they supplying the pads? I would think your mother isn’t the first patient they’ve even seen who’s been incontinent.
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Also check yard sales and your local online sale postings from your area. Many people have pads they didn't use if their loved one receiving in home hospice care were using them. I have acquired pads in that manner. It's a lot of work changing beds every day and washing and the NH always seem to be understaffed nowadays which is crazy since there are more and more adults in NH care. We were worn out caring for just one person at home, imagine if you had to care for several a day. I hope you find what is needed.
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cetude Aug 2019
Hospice disposable pads are of very poor quality, flimsy, and bunch up like tissue paper.
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My answer may be a little gross, too. Is she having diarrhea? By your description, it sounds that way. If yes, has the doctor run any tests to find out why. There has to be a reason that it started...new med...some food not agreeing with her stomach.

If this has been happening before they get her up, then they can resolve their own problem by going in a little earlier each day to figure out when it is happening. It's very possible it happens shortly after going to bed and she's laying in her own mess most of the night. You might need to stay a couple of nights to actually see what is going on - no one at that facility is ever going to tell you they didn't check on her for hours.

I can tell you this, if I worked there and this was a new problem with a patient that I was going to have to clean up - I'd be poking my nose in the door about every 10-15 minutes to catch the problem before it was a huge mess to clean up. Then I'd have a timeline of when to check on her.

Just tell them you cannot afford the pads and then see how creative they can become at preventing a huge clean up. This is a facility whose experience is how to handle this sort of thing -and it sounds like the facility owners provide their staff with washable pads to keep the cost down. If staff can talk you in to a pricier way to make their job easier, of course they would. You might ask one of the managers what is provided to employees for a task like this if family cannot afford disposable pads - I bet 'cha they say washable pads.
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Judysai422 Aug 2019
Exactly. 👍👍👍👍👍
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If this is assisted living and she's pooing in bed, it is most likely she will get evicted and is usually the determination requiring nursing home placement.
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You have my empathy, you have a very challenging situation. With a pattern having developed the caregivers have to be alert and nab the depends before she makes her mess... I just cleaned up a beyond mess when husband's ostomy bag over-loaded while he slept and he rolled... sigh.... I discovered @ Ross Store in the pet section they have puppy training pads much much less expensive than at other retailers and comparable equivalent for people. I bought 100 pads for $19.95, basically .20 per pad.
Disposables in these situations are God sends to us, though hard on the environment.
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Look into “puppy pads “. My local Dollar Store carries them 75 for $15. You can use several to cover a mattress. Try to Google them. Good luck.
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My mother is bedridden and i have cleaned up many a mess. I use puppy pads to line her bed!! They work, you can get a box of extra large pads, 100-count from Costco for $22.99. They really really hold up. Hope this helps.
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Reading this is distressing because I know I will be there someday. I have been diagnosed with microcolitis and have several b.m. in early morning hours and am then okay for rest of the day. Most movements are about 1/2 inch and soft, but often watery even though I try to avoid gluten, which I am sensitive to. My GI physician says I have adapted well! Only treatment is Pepto Bismol 3 tablets 3 X a day--and it is not curative, because once you stop, there you are again. I am also at high risk for Alzheimer's as I carry one copy of ApoE4 gene. Yes, I am "listening to my body" as he says, but what happens when I can't listen or can't get up to go to bathroom on my own? That's why I don't take any life prolonging drugs to control blood pressure (which is normal anyway) or cholesterol levels (which are not, they are over 300 total). Otherwise I am healthy and will be 82 next month. I still travel a lot because I have learned to use Imodium judiciously--but I can't take all the time because one develops immunity.
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Ask staff to make her the first person they get up. She may wake up at shift change when the noise level goes up, so maybe night shift could get her up just prior to shift change. Also you can clothing made for dementia patients that have the fasteners in the back so they can't be reached.
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Gail4mom; yes it is expensive!! But you can look on AMAZONI got depends for my mom There it was alot more affordable!!I was so excited when we thought of it!! Amazon has everything and its in bulk and CHEAPER!! HOW bout check with catholic CHARITIES they helped out a friend of mine they sent TONS OF DEPENDS ,CHUCKS,WIPES diaper cream also check thrift stores look on craigs list ect.....ebay...
People lose a loved one and want to donate left over stuff check with local charities food pantries and churchs there is always something to help out elderly in need GOOD LUCK
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elaineSC Aug 2019
I think her biggest problem is her mother is tearing the diapers off and messing up the bed and herself before the CNA comes in the mornings at assisted living. She is more interested in expense of pads, not diapers.
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My mom's NH gave me a catalogue from 'SILVERTS' that had a lot of adapted clothing for both men & women - I found them easy & caring to deal with - quick delivery too 

FYI - they have 1 piece clothing jump suit with hidden closure that those with dementia can't get out of - by using this or something similar to sleep in then she can't get to the depends to make the messes - with several [3 to 4] of these you can get through the laundry cycle at the NH - if dr writes up a prescription for this sort of clothing then maybe the insurance company might cover this 1 time expense [they love 1 time expense over continuing expense]

A woman whose room was close to mom wore these & they were quite nice to look at ... I remember a cute pink one she seemed to like - hope this helps you
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This begs the question - what medicines is she taking? I was taking one that I figured out RIGHT AWAY that I could not take it any more because it caused severe colon upset in the middle of the night. So perhaps you could adjust her diet to eat less by night's end. Or go with EllerySir's post, which was STELLAR! Thank you, Ellery!
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Wow, what a disgusting problem and yes, the prices are horrible. This is going to get worse and worse and I honestly do not know the solution. I think the time has come for you to consider placement and I know money can be a big problem. There is money out there and groups who can review options. I truly think that time has come when she does what she does.
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Not to be snarky here, but exactly WHAT are full size bed pads going to do about mom taking her depends off and smearing everything around? Are these pads more sentient and will talk her into stopping?

The suggestions that make much more sense are:

1. Get her up sooner, BEFORE the BM
2. Put her in a onesie

While wearing a onesie makes it harder to undress her and change the depends, is THAT more difficult than cleaning up her and everything she touches/smears?

If she can't access the depends, she can't make the mess! Not exactly rocket science there...
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worriedinCali Aug 2019
the pads are for the bowel movements she’s having IN THE BED. It’s so she can have her BM on the pads and not ruin mattress.
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Well, you can’t blame them for wanting to put the mess in the trash.

Look into “puppy pads” in your local Wal-Mart or Petco or animal supply store. They might be big enough to handle what your mom dishes out. Probably a lot less cost also.

A medical supply store would be the most expensive option.

Have you looked on Amazon?
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elaineSC Aug 2019
Great answer! 👍👍
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I buy Assurance briefs with tabs from Walmart online along with large disposable wipes. Buy on line and they deliver free 32 briefs are $18– and box wipes like $6
two box briefs and box of wipes $40 with tax and free delivery
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Go on Amazon and place the disposable covers over the chucks cuts down on washing daily. But can place chuck in bed or recliner with disposable cover over washable Chucks ..
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LOL This is entertainment for her
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elaineSC Aug 2019
No, she said her Mom has dementia and I am sure she knows her diaper is full and she decides to change herself which she can’t do. Simple as that.
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