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What many are saying is difficult to accept but is the truth - your dementia love one can be kept safe and healthy but not happy, since that is up to the person. Brain changes in dementia often cause depression, and no one will be happy about what has happened to them - lost their home, their friends, their activities, and so on, and are now in a place full of strangers. However, this is not the fault of the family or the caregivers. I agree with what someone said about learning to accept all of this, and not try to fix anything, other than monitoring her condition (which you apparently are doing) and make sure she is safe. "Happy" is not something we can fix.
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@ Kathleen,

I heard The Rolling Stones play ‘You Can’t Always Get What You Want’ live at Louisiana State University Assembly Center when I was 18. The Stones were great!

I would have never thought of that song being applied to a caregiving situation! LOL 😆 Caregiving was the furthest thing from my mind when I was 18!

It’s certainly true that we can’t always get what we want. All caregivers should listen to that song and apply it to the needs of their loved ones!

So, what do you think of us doing a remake of Paul Simon’s song, 50 Ways to Leave Your Lover? It could be turned into 50 Ways to leave Your Mother!!! LOL 😝

I Saw Simon at New Orleans Jazz and Heritage Festival. He was fantastic!
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Tiredout123: Cease bending over literally backwards (an old adage) since there is apparently no pleasing mom.
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"they don't seem to have any caregivers that can deal with a cranky old person?"

If she said no and asked them to leave, there is nothing they CAN do.

If she's just going to keep doing that, maybe explore other options.

It's not uncommon for patients to refuse caregiver care, because they only want their family members to do it.
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