Father 99 has been caring for wife 85 & no longer can care for her alone. Limited income. They live in PA and I'm in VA. He can rec. benefits from Vet Affairs (WW11 Veteran-Normandy). Mom has dementia and he no longer can care for her and he requires assistance with her. Can they both go into a Veterans Nursing home?
There are important special issues that must be addressed BEFORE applying regarding income and assets /age, & property. (The VA cannot give Financial Advice).
Assistance with the VA benefit must be from a knowledgeable VA accredited source He assisted living may know of one, but cannot assist itself, in the application
Powers of Attorney are important While it is doubtful; if they have ANT TYPE current life insurance policies with a Face value of $50,000, or more, it could be converted into a LTC payment, I do that for folks in Georgia.
If they are not eligible, start looking for nursing homes, hopefully one where they can both go. One that accepts medicaid as they will undoubtedly have to go on medicaid to pay for the nursing home. [The nursing home can help you with that.] Their income and any assets will have to go to medicaid.
You could consult an eldercare lawyer or some agencies. Hopefully people here will have even more concrete advice.
I know this is a heartbreaking situation, but caring for two elderly parents, one with dementia, is probably more than most people can handle. If they do stay with you, at least check and see what kind of help you could get in regards to home health aides and visiting nurses -- sometimes medicare will pay for this.
http://www.longtermcarelink.net/ref_state_veterans_va_nursing_homes.htm#VA_Nursing_Homes. There are 6 in PA and 3 in VA.
If you do consider any of these, check them out first as some aren't as good as others.
You could call the ones in VA or PA directly and ask them if they have couples arrangements.
I would get in home health aides at your place as I doubt if you and your husband can care for 2 such seniors if you are still working full time. If you are retired it will still be a tall order.
You stated they have limited care, but make sure they don't have an elder care policy or have exhausted the benefits for such a policy. These types of policies can really help the family to afford in home care but they tend to have a certain number of total 'visits" (approx. 3 to 4 years). Given your father's advanced age he may have used them up already either for himself or his wife.
I would get a POA and advanced directive so you can help with their care should they be in hospital etc. You need their medical records sent to their new doctors in VA. While you have them, try to get a doctor for each who will take calls overnight / weekends because things tend to come up quickly with their health and you need to be able to get advice on how to help them.
Good Luck.