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Dad is nearing the end and is reversing a LOT of decisions that he made a few months ago and it has caused a “train wreck.” ... When confronted he replies what? I can’t change my mind?
You can "invoke" it whenever you feel like it. The problem is if someone challenges you on it. Depending on how the POA is written, you may have to show impairment. Contrary to what many people think, impairment is not a requirement for POA. The POA can be written so that it's effective even if someone is perfectly competent. A POA allows someone to act as the representative for another. You don't need to be incompetent to have an attorney.
Which brings up the crux of the issue. A POA doesn't give someone the ability to override the wishes of the grantor. A POA acts on the behalf of the grantor. If you want to go against your Dad's decisions you'll need to seek guardianship.
That second paragraph is not true of a Durable POA, Need. The whole point of the "Durable" part is that the authority given to you continues even once the person is incompetent, and from then you can override the person's wishes if those wishes are contrary to the person's best interests.
POA doesn't negate your Dad's wishes. The POA is there to carry OUT his wishes, in fact. To the best of their ability. Now, if Dad has severe dementia and is incapable of making decisions, or cannot remember decisions he made, then that is another thing. Afraid we need more info here.
Is POA written to give you authority when he is incapable to make decisions (as in can't talk, in a coma....) or is deemed incompetent to make prudent decisions (as in dementia, strokes, metal illness...). If it is the latter, you can use it to undo his decision-making. It would be wisest to have doctor declare him incompetent, then notify those dad does business with about the change in his "health". Please give dad some decision-making abilities and allow him to have a gift card "credit card" with a certain amount of money loaded onto it for his spending.
Wish that my brother would have seen this about the "credit card" for my mom. Of course, she doesn't drive anymore but that doesn't matter,right? I was told that they facility where she is now, would be able to take her to the dollar tree, if she wanted to go. But not sure if they will still be able to do that now. She doesn't make any decisions about anything now. My brother has pretty much taken over. In a good and caring way.
POA can be invoke anytime as long as the person is still alive. Once he passes the POA is no longer valid. Make sure the POA you have is a Durable POA. You can get the form to fill outline if an attorney is not affordable. Check out The POA can Online with Legal Zone. You can also contact them with questions or explain what you think you need and they can help lead you in the right direction. We did the POA through Legal Zone for my mom and dad. If the changes he is making are not good decisions, you have the right with the POA to have them changed back. Don't tell him that you changed them back, he will never know. You can sign the paperwork as the POA.
All the answers here could be right (more or less), depending on how the POA is worded. Get it out and read it. If you can’t understand it, get some legal advice. If you want more comments here, please say how it is worded. It would also help if you could say what decisions your father is reversing, and how. This would give at least some idea about his mental state, and what you should do about it.
A POA is primarily a principal naming someone to act in their stead following their directions or desires. It can go into effect as soon as it is signed or it can "spring" on some condition. It can be limited in time frame or in actions the POA is authorized to execute. Most POA documents do not allow a POA to override the principal's decision unless there is a documented incapacity, and how the incapacity needs to be documented is usually stated in the POA document and/or by state law.
As someone else has already advised, read your POA and ask for legal help if there's any legal language you don't understand.
I see from your profile that your dad is 83 and has alzheimer's / dementia. What stage is he? Does the doctor who diagnosed him know what you have told us that he is doing? I think the doctor who diagnosed him needs to see him again and this time test him for competence. You can share this information and your request for an evaluation directly with the doctor privately even if you don't have medical POA.
Who has the POA, you or your brother? Does he have both durable and medical POA? Why don't you have the POA since you are the caregiver?
That and understanding the wording of the POA, even if it means seeing a lawyer is what you need to do.
POA doesn't mean that you get to override what they say, it only means you can act on their behalf if they can't. To be able to "control" your dads actions or override his decisions, you would have to prove him incompetent in a court of law and assume guardianship.
We are struggling with this too. My mom, before dementia, said she didn't want an open casket funeral...she wanted to be cremated. We actually fought about this. I told her "no one in our family gets cremated!". She said if you won't honor my wishes, I will get someone else to handle my affairs. So I agreed to do what she wanted. Now fast forward 10 years..she now has dementia and is now telling me she doesn't want to be cremated and when I showed shock and asked why, she said she changed her mind. Do I abide by my moms wishes when she was in her right mind or now?
AND My 98 yr old MIL keeps changing her will. We have stopped telling her if we buy anything or go anywhere because she thinks you are "well off" and no longer need an inheritance. WTH! I know it's crazy.
He's 86 and has dementia. How is he "changing" things? Is he making phone calls to the lawyer or bank or financial professional? Take away access to the phone. Is he crossing out and rewriting on the paper document itself? Then he just invalidated the entire document anyway. It's possible he never really understood how the POA works in the first place, even before he had dementia--he thinks it's like a "Will" and he can change it at anytime. Well, guess what, you can't do that with a Will either--it must be witnessed and signed each time a change is made. He should not be having any communication with any type of financial, legal, or medical professional--all communication should be through you or whoever is named agent. Most professionals will understand this situation--family members are the more likely ones to object if there are disagreements about his care, his money.
In my understanding, to create a Durable POA or a Health Care POA, the person doing the creating must be competent. There is even language in many of those documents stating the creator attests to being "in sound mind." If the person has dementia, they may be legally incapable of creating a POA. Then, to my understanding, a court will have to appoint someone to perform those duties.
My parent's POA's were "activated" after their MD and a second MD familiar with their situation signed off that they were no longer capable of making decisions for themselves. Dad was terminal and mostly asleep. Mom has dementia. The "activation" was simple. But the general durable POA and the POA for health care were completed long before they were needed, and done by their attorney.
By proceeding, I agree that I understand the following disclosures:
I. How We Work in Washington.
Based on your preferences, we provide you with information about one or more of our contracted senior living providers ("Participating Communities") and provide your Senior Living Care Information to Participating Communities. The Participating Communities may contact you directly regarding their services.
APFM does not endorse or recommend any provider. It is your sole responsibility to select the appropriate care for yourself or your loved one. We work with both you and the Participating Communities in your search. We do not permit our Advisors to have an ownership interest in Participating Communities.
II. How We Are Paid.
We do not charge you any fee – we are paid by the Participating Communities. Some Participating Communities pay us a percentage of the first month's standard rate for the rent and care services you select. We invoice these fees after the senior moves in.
III. When We Tour.
APFM tours certain Participating Communities in Washington (typically more in metropolitan areas than in rural areas.) During the 12 month period prior to December 31, 2017, we toured 86.2% of Participating Communities with capacity for 20 or more residents.
IV. No Obligation or Commitment.
You have no obligation to use or to continue to use our services. Because you pay no fee to us, you will never need to ask for a refund.
V. Complaints.
Please contact our Family Feedback Line at (866) 584-7340 or ConsumerFeedback@aplaceformom.com to report any complaint. Consumers have many avenues to address a dispute with any referral service company, including the right to file a complaint with the Attorney General's office at: Consumer Protection Division, 800 5th Avenue, Ste. 2000, Seattle, 98104 or 800-551-4636.
VI. No Waiver of Your Rights.
APFM does not (and may not) require or even ask consumers seeking senior housing or care services in Washington State to sign waivers of liability for losses of personal property or injury or to sign waivers of any rights established under law.
I agree that:
A.
I authorize A Place For Mom ("APFM") to collect certain personal and contact detail information, as well as relevant health care information about me or from me about the senior family member or relative I am assisting ("Senior Living Care Information").
B.
APFM may provide information to me electronically. My electronic signature on agreements and documents has the same effect as if I signed them in ink.
C.
APFM may send all communications to me electronically via e-mail or by access to an APFM web site.
D.
If I want a paper copy, I can print a copy of the Disclosures or download the Disclosures for my records.
E.
This E-Sign Acknowledgement and Authorization applies to these Disclosures and all future Disclosures related to APFM's services, unless I revoke my authorization. You may revoke this authorization in writing at any time (except where we have already disclosed information before receiving your revocation.) This authorization will expire after one year.
F.
You consent to APFM's reaching out to you using a phone system than can auto-dial numbers (we miss rotary phones, too!), but this consent is not required to use our service.
Which brings up the crux of the issue. A POA doesn't give someone the ability to override the wishes of the grantor. A POA acts on the behalf of the grantor. If you want to go against your Dad's decisions you'll need to seek guardianship.
She doesn't make any decisions about anything now. My brother has pretty much taken over. In a good and caring way.
As someone else has already advised, read your POA and ask for legal help if there's any legal language you don't understand.
Who has the POA, you or your brother? Does he have both durable and medical POA? Why don't you have the POA since you are the caregiver?
That and understanding the wording of the POA, even if it means seeing a lawyer is what you need to do.
We are struggling with this too. My mom, before dementia, said she didn't want an open casket funeral...she wanted to be cremated. We actually fought about this. I told her "no one in our family gets cremated!". She said if you won't honor my wishes, I will get someone else to handle my affairs. So I agreed to do what she wanted. Now fast forward 10 years..she now has dementia and is now telling me she doesn't want to be cremated and when I showed shock and asked why, she said she changed her mind. Do I abide by my moms wishes when she was in her right mind or now?
AND My 98 yr old MIL keeps changing her will. We have stopped telling her if we buy anything or go anywhere because she thinks you are "well off" and no longer need an inheritance. WTH! I know it's crazy.
My parent's POA's were "activated" after their MD and a second MD familiar with their situation signed off that they were no longer capable of making decisions for themselves. Dad was terminal and mostly asleep. Mom has dementia. The "activation" was simple. But the general durable POA and the POA for health care were completed long before they were needed, and done by their attorney.