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Looking at return checks parent is definitely writing everyone’s checks except for those to me. Sister and co-POA wants me to believe that our parent can’t write checks anymore

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Two different things going on here.

Parents being able to write checks doesn't mean they are capable of handling their money. Are they competent in that way?

If they are, unless your parents gave your sister POA that takes effect immediately, the POA is not in effect and she's stealing from them.

If your parents are not competent, then your sister is violating her fiduciary duty as POA by writing checks to herself and your other sister.

You'd need to know how the POA was written, and I'm not sure you're going to get that information from your sister. What do you parents say?
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SavingMom2014 Jan 2022
Thanks! We are both Co- POA for financial and medical. However she lives closer and has more influence of them bc she is there a lot. On the online banking there are debit card purchases for big items that are definitely hers. And withdrawals that are ACH transactions for her and no way my parents. Is there a way to get APS involved without her knowing it was me?
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Speak with your parents to clarify. For my brother I paid all his bills, handled all acounts and kept meticulous records (as required by law) as I served as his POA and as the Trustee of his Trust. He had his own spending account of some 7,000.00 for whatever he wanted to spend on as we lived at other ends of the state. All other needs I paid for. So, yes, he had an account he wrote checks on. In your parents case they may also be writing checks and their POA may be paying bills on that account if it is set up that way. The parents gave the sibling they felt could/would serve best as POA the task (and it IS a task) to do so. It is not your business unless the parents wish to share info with you. And the Sister is accountable to your parents and the law,not to you.
If you suspect that your sister is serving as POA and is using your parent funds fraudulently take your proof of this to APS and ask them to do investigation for fraud and abuse against the parents. Be aware that if you do this without good cause no one will likely speak with you at all in future.
We are a Forum made up of people who have done caregiving. When an OP writes us we get his or her side of a situation without hearing another side. With these things there is no way we could hazard a guess as to what might be happening. But we CAN advise on resources for you to complain to. Fraud perpetrated against a senior when there is a Fiduciary Duty under the law (and such is the case for a POA) is punished under our laws; there is little sympathy in the courts for those who rip off seniors. Good luck.
PS: If your parents write you a check go ahead and cash it. If your sister is correct that they are not now allowed to do that because of diagnosed incompetency, then the check will not clear. If the check clears, your sister is wrong, and if she is financial POA she will have to arrange with the banks to set up the accounts as they should be. For instance, as I did with management of all bills and accounts, but with a personal spending account for my brother.
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SavingMom2014 Mar 2022
Thank you! I was reading my legal documents and it says me and her are co durable POA to act together unanimously. Just spoke to my mom and she says she can handle her own bills, pays them and knows how much they are. But her account shows her spending $3000+ more than the income. This is bc of writing huge checks to my siblings who play on her generosity and they take a lot. When she overspends by $10-15,000 my sister who lives near her tells her to take money from her IRA so she has been taking $50,000 a year out to cover the spending on her adult children. I’m at a loss! If I hire someone or call Adult protective services my mom who has early dementia will back my sister up all the way. What are your suggestions? If I do nothing she will be out of money in 18 months as she has private home care now due to recent falls
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