I'm especially interested in anyone who has tried this! I'm 61 with an auto-immune disease myself, taking care of mom, 96, in my home with 63 hours of theoretical aide help. I have 3 aides. One is reliable, others have been absent for 5 weeks since Thanksgiving. I'm beyond the end of my rope and getting sicker. There is severe aide shortage in my area so new aides immediately is not a possibility. I'm working closely with all three agencies on improving situation. In the meantime something's gotta change!! My mom's muscles are also atrophying from too much helplessness when she was in short-term rehab for 6 months last year -- it seems clear to me that doing more for herself is healthier for both of us. She has always been very active and definitely enjoys doing things. Please don't post making me wrong for not wanting to wait on my mother. Any suggestions based on your own successful experience of improving elder autonomy especially welcome. (Moving her into a nursing home is not an option either, as my disability income is not enough for me to live anywhere but subsidized housing, and I'm on the waiting list of 1-2 years.) Thank you!
So you've never heard of anyone changing their own Depends as a means of greater autonomy...? Too bad. It would be so helpful on the bad days.
As for changing herself, as long as she is cognitively able I sees no reason she can't do it. She will need something sturdy to hold, ask your landlord about installing grab bars or look into something like a SuperPole which is held in place without permanent screws. Do you have a toilet extension so it's easier for her to sit and rise? And have everything she needs within reach - baby wipes, diaper pail, clean Depends and dry pants.
Just thinking aloud here: so both the aide availability situation and the subsidized housing situation are not great in your area. Could you possibly move? Hoping for some ideas for you...