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I learned the hard way, that it is very hard for others to want to be of help in any significant way. My three sisters left me to care for my mother and a mentally disabled brother. I have one brother that helped with Mom; so he is the only person I have left for any solace. Today, I am facing mortgage problems because I had lost my job shortly before my mother died and was busy with details and had a hard time finding a new job. I have part-time work that I love now and am poised to start a new little business (with really not enough capital). Does anyone have insight on how I can rebound? I have no one to call; I do not want to burden (and possibly lose) my friends and I clearly have no family to help. I am afraid to be out and on my own without my little home.

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daughter - I lost my Mom 2 weeks ago and very much feel your pain. I quit my job to care for her 3 yrs back - neither of my brothers even called their Mom the last 5 yrs of her life. My husband lost his job a year ago . . . we are both mid 50's, the house is underwater, we have no health insurance, no savings left. But what we do have is hope. We are smart, we work hard, and as naive as it sounds I hold firmly to the belief that what goes around comes around. If we will refuse to give up, if we will work as hard now on building our lives again as we did taking care of Mom, we should be able to keep our heads above water.

As for your business - there are multiple sites that supply help and advice to entrepreneurs completely free of charge. Google it. And good luck to you.
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Contact the Small Business Administration. They have all kinds of programs, classes, and retired business people who volunteer their time to help new business owners at no cost. They can also tell you about start up business loans. I found them very helpful when I started my business.
The more you get connected to others, the less you will feel alone.
good luck
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Daughter 1111, I lost my Mom a little over a month ago. I'm not at all sure if "rebound" is a good idea. It has the suggestion of suddenly bouncing back. At this point, I don't feel like I'll ever get over losing my Mom. How do you "get used" to such a loss? On an intellectual level, I guess I know that time is the key. But on an emotional level, the pain is gripping. You sound like you have a positive plan for moving on, and at least your life will take a direction. As you pursue your goals and interests, always honor your Mom and take time out each day to enjoy some memories. Death is so final, and it has shaken me to the very core of my being. My friends think I'm doing ok - mainly because I lie to them when they ask. Little do they know that when my teenaged son gets on the bus in the mornings (my husband has already left for work) - that's when it's the hardest. Mom always got up to make her tea then. Reminders of Mom are everywhere. We should try, I suppose, to find a way to cling to those memories. Maybe journaling would be a good idea.
Bye the way, my Mom was given the drug Zyprexa - in double doses - despite FDA warnings not to give the drug to elderly dementia patients, and it killed her. If you're caring for an elderly person on this drug, don't hesitate to question her healthcare professional - it could save a life. I wish now that I had known.

Karen
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Thank you both for your kind words and helpful suggestions. I am feeling better today and know that my efforts are important in order to pull my husband and me back up. I really appreciate this site - it has given me the feeling that I am not completely alone. Thanks again.
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I wish you both the best. To come through the caregiving experience took great strength and inner resources. I'm sure as you apply those to your own situtations you will be rewarded.
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Karen, I lost my mom about 2 months ago...I know exactly how you feel. I have tried multiple times to go clean out her closets and kitchen, and I don't ever get anywhere. My dad recently went into assisted living and I am left to clean out the house. I can't bear to see all my mom's things. I try to talk to family about my feelings. I agree with you that it has shaken me off my foundation. I'm not sure how to cope, actually.
Daughter1111, having the business to work on should help you. The SBA is a great resource as Lilliput said. Do reach out to your friends...you will know right away if they are willing to help.
There are some wonderful, caring people on this site...I come often to help me figure things out. With a brother in another state, I was and am the only caregiver for my parents.
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Daughter 1111: I am very sorry for your loss. Try to find resources to save your home. Contact the Lender. ( important). Is it possible that your part-time position could be expanded to full-time?
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This site is the greatest for filling the void of the family/friends we choose not to include in our every day lives, that's for sure!
I am returning to counseling this week. I entered counseling the day my Dad died last year, was in counseling for a few months, this time around I am experiencing anxiety about caring for my mom. She has minimal health issues but I still want to be here for her as she ebbs and tides with the issues at hand.
I was a full time student but am changing my status to part time until my mom's emotional and physical health stabilizes.
With all this being said, I encourage all to seek counseling. Sometimes it is private practice, on campus, through insurance or sliding scale income, or from church or synagogue. I personally found turning to family (who is always into their own worlds) or friends (who have or have not experience the loss of a parent and/or is caregiving a parent) did not work for me.
Daughter1111: you are not alone and neither am I and neither is anyone else on this site or in this world. I am thankful for this site and the friendships that are developing because of it.
I have not rebounded from the death of my best friend in 1988. She graduated from the same university I am presently attending and sometimes I wonder "did she walk these halls?" "did she sit on this bench?" So please be patient with yourself and don't expect to rebound very quickly. I have come to embrace the thought that grieving takes a lifetime. As far as financially, many others gave great ideas including SBA and perhaps some adult education courses could lead you to the right place that you want to be. In this economy, there are many resources left untapped. I pray you find the right one for you. Good night zzzz Peg
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Daughter1111 my heart is with you at this time. Understanding that mourning the loss of your loved one seems to take much longer than you think will help you get over the emotional dips of deep sadness. It is important to take time for these deep times of mourning. I didn't have enough time to mourn my father when he passed because I was thrown right into caring for my mother. So take time to nurture yourself as you start this new adventure. You don't want to look back on your life and say "I wish I had taken time to enjoy the simple pleasures of life."
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dear daughter 1111, Please know that you have my deep and abiding respect! I know this is hard, and I would encourage you to be kind to yourself and take time.... I have cared for my grandparents and my Father, so I do understand. You will spend time crying and grieving and this is okay. I think as far as financial issue I would talk with lenders and ask them to be understanding. What you did for your MOM was a special gift, and as time goes on remind yourself of that. Allowing someone to die with dignity and respect and comfortably is so special... take care, and God bless!!!
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