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Acknowledgment of Disclosures and Authorization
By proceeding, I agree that I understand the following disclosures:
I. How We Work in Washington. Based on your preferences, we provide you with information about one or more of our contracted senior living providers ("Participating Communities") and provide your Senior Living Care Information to Participating Communities. The Participating Communities may contact you directly regarding their services. APFM does not endorse or recommend any provider. It is your sole responsibility to select the appropriate care for yourself or your loved one. We work with both you and the Participating Communities in your search. We do not permit our Advisors to have an ownership interest in Participating Communities.
II. How We Are Paid. We do not charge you any fee – we are paid by the Participating Communities. Some Participating Communities pay us a percentage of the first month's standard rate for the rent and care services you select. We invoice these fees after the senior moves in.
III. When We Tour. APFM tours certain Participating Communities in Washington (typically more in metropolitan areas than in rural areas.) During the 12 month period prior to December 31, 2017, we toured 86.2% of Participating Communities with capacity for 20 or more residents.
IV. No Obligation or Commitment. You have no obligation to use or to continue to use our services. Because you pay no fee to us, you will never need to ask for a refund.
V. Complaints. Please contact our Family Feedback Line at (866) 584-7340 or ConsumerFeedback@aplaceformom.com to report any complaint. Consumers have many avenues to address a dispute with any referral service company, including the right to file a complaint with the Attorney General's office at: Consumer Protection Division, 800 5th Avenue, Ste. 2000, Seattle, 98104 or 800-551-4636.
VI. No Waiver of Your Rights. APFM does not (and may not) require or even ask consumers seeking senior housing or care services in Washington State to sign waivers of liability for losses of personal property or injury or to sign waivers of any rights established under law.I agree that: A.I authorize A Place For Mom ("APFM") to collect certain personal and contact detail information, as well as relevant health care information about me or from me about the senior family member or relative I am assisting ("Senior Living Care Information"). B.APFM may provide information to me electronically. My electronic signature on agreements and documents has the same effect as if I signed them in ink. C.APFM may send all communications to me electronically via e-mail or by access to an APFM web site. D.If I want a paper copy, I can print a copy of the Disclosures or download the Disclosures for my records. E.This E-Sign Acknowledgement and Authorization applies to these Disclosures and all future Disclosures related to APFM's services, unless I revoke my authorization. You may revoke this authorization in writing at any time (except where we have already disclosed information before receiving your revocation.) This authorization will expire after one year. F.You consent to APFM's reaching out to you using a phone system than can auto-dial numbers (we miss rotary phones, too!), but this consent is not required to use our service.
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Mostly Independent
Your loved one may not require home care or assisted living services at this time. However, continue to monitor their condition for changes and consider occasional in-home care services for help as needed.
Remember, this assessment is not a substitute for professional advice.
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I am sorry for your trouble. What I would suggests is if you know a therapist who works with elders they can help mediate family conflict but the other members have to want to participate for it to work. Is your mom in a facility? If so the ombudsman can help.
You can call local nursing home or assisted living community and ask who they use for psych consultation. If you have EAP at your job they can direct you as well. And finally, search for a social worker /care manager on Aginglifecare.org.
I don't know the backstory but it's also sounding like you are looking for legal representation as well. Maybe a family law attorney who mediates other family conflicts (like child custody) could help? It would be easier to advise if I knew what you wanted help with.
In Massachusetts, there is Elder Decisions, in Lexington. I trained with them a couple of times and they are good. They wrote a book, Mom Always Loved You Best, I think it is. About mediating between siblings, but the conflicts can be similar, for care issues, risks, time, proximity, skills - often old family roles need to be recognised as old, and not the current case.
Sorry that you wrote your story and it disappeared - that is So Frustrating!
Glad you asked your question - and writing out the story, sometimes sharing it can help. You can share it here and find other places to share it also, in writing helps a lot, as we reflect and grow, rather than go round in circles with repeats. As one or two pieces gain more perspective, some new options can arise.
Disappearing stories has happened to me too. Usually because I have hit a key in error. Very frustrating.
Also check with Geriatric Care Managers as some often have had mediation training. You may want to call the Alzheimer's Association, they also help families to understand the disease and hopefully getting siblings to work together. Check with the Area Agency on Aging, they will probably have suggestions.
If eldest sister has power of attorney, then she can restrict your visits. I had the same issue with my four siblings, and fortunately I took them to court and the judge agreed with me for visits. It all depends on how much you want to see your mother.
You can also look up patient advocates in your area as well as mediation through JAMS-retired Judges.....it might be cheaper to go the mediation/case worker route or check your local legal aid society. You just want something, I assume that is fair and equitable to your mom, you and the grand kids? She should be involved in the decision as well! It's a terrible time when now we have custody battles over our parent/grandparents! Love should be spread and given as much as possible, not with held! Best of luck!
As far as I know...she does not. I do, it is several years old. Written by her attending physician and signed by her but not notarized. I did use it earlier when the time was needed. That's another thing my sister does not like.
I am SO sorry for your troubles, Sapphire56; family conflicts in these situations make everything more difficult. Local (especially in home!!) caregivers definitely have many needs, issues and griefs, but it is very difficult to be far away and feel helpless and out of touch as well. I don't have any suggestions for that, but I think I can help with your disappearing answers, people. It's happened to me so often that now I type my response in a new Word document and when it is finished I COPY it and then paste it into this Answer box. That way if anything goes wrong, I still have it and can copy/paste again! Close the Word document without saving the message after you're sure it's been posted. Blessings on your journey. Lolli
A professional guardian can be very helpful when it comes to taking care of parent(s) who are ill and unable to care for themselves or express their own wishes. It helps when there are difficult family dynamics to deal with (which in most cases there are!)
By proceeding, I agree that I understand the following disclosures:
I. How We Work in Washington.
Based on your preferences, we provide you with information about one or more of our contracted senior living providers ("Participating Communities") and provide your Senior Living Care Information to Participating Communities. The Participating Communities may contact you directly regarding their services.
APFM does not endorse or recommend any provider. It is your sole responsibility to select the appropriate care for yourself or your loved one. We work with both you and the Participating Communities in your search. We do not permit our Advisors to have an ownership interest in Participating Communities.
II. How We Are Paid.
We do not charge you any fee – we are paid by the Participating Communities. Some Participating Communities pay us a percentage of the first month's standard rate for the rent and care services you select. We invoice these fees after the senior moves in.
III. When We Tour.
APFM tours certain Participating Communities in Washington (typically more in metropolitan areas than in rural areas.) During the 12 month period prior to December 31, 2017, we toured 86.2% of Participating Communities with capacity for 20 or more residents.
IV. No Obligation or Commitment.
You have no obligation to use or to continue to use our services. Because you pay no fee to us, you will never need to ask for a refund.
V. Complaints.
Please contact our Family Feedback Line at (866) 584-7340 or ConsumerFeedback@aplaceformom.com to report any complaint. Consumers have many avenues to address a dispute with any referral service company, including the right to file a complaint with the Attorney General's office at: Consumer Protection Division, 800 5th Avenue, Ste. 2000, Seattle, 98104 or 800-551-4636.
VI. No Waiver of Your Rights.
APFM does not (and may not) require or even ask consumers seeking senior housing or care services in Washington State to sign waivers of liability for losses of personal property or injury or to sign waivers of any rights established under law.
I agree that:
A.
I authorize A Place For Mom ("APFM") to collect certain personal and contact detail information, as well as relevant health care information about me or from me about the senior family member or relative I am assisting ("Senior Living Care Information").
B.
APFM may provide information to me electronically. My electronic signature on agreements and documents has the same effect as if I signed them in ink.
C.
APFM may send all communications to me electronically via e-mail or by access to an APFM web site.
D.
If I want a paper copy, I can print a copy of the Disclosures or download the Disclosures for my records.
E.
This E-Sign Acknowledgement and Authorization applies to these Disclosures and all future Disclosures related to APFM's services, unless I revoke my authorization. You may revoke this authorization in writing at any time (except where we have already disclosed information before receiving your revocation.) This authorization will expire after one year.
F.
You consent to APFM's reaching out to you using a phone system than can auto-dial numbers (we miss rotary phones, too!), but this consent is not required to use our service.
You can call local nursing home or assisted living community and ask who they use for psych consultation. If you have EAP at your job they can direct you as well. And finally, search for a social worker /care manager on Aginglifecare.org.
I don't know the backstory but it's also sounding like you are looking for legal representation as well. Maybe a family law attorney who mediates other family conflicts (like child custody) could help? It would be easier to advise if I knew what you wanted help with.
There are lawyers who specialize in mediation, rather than litigation. You might call your local bar association for a referral.
Sorry that you wrote your story and it disappeared - that is So Frustrating!
Glad you asked your question - and writing out the story, sometimes sharing it can help. You can share it here and find other places to share it also, in writing helps a lot, as we reflect and grow, rather than go round in circles with repeats. As one or two pieces gain more perspective, some new options can arise.
Best wishes and stay in touch!
Also check with Geriatric Care Managers as some often have had mediation training. You may want to call the Alzheimer's Association, they also help families to understand the disease and hopefully getting siblings to work together. Check with the Area Agency on Aging, they will probably have suggestions.
I've referred adult children to one of the authors for help in resolving issues around their elders, care, who's doing what, etc.
Also try Googling "family mediation" in your state. There is usually an association which can help you with info and referrals.
Best of luck!